Well, What's This...?

Tropical Storm Joaquin To Hit New England?

We're keeping en eye on a system in the western Atlantic. 

Several forecasting models run it up the coast at us as a tropical depression or a weak tropical storm. The official NHC forecast takes it out to sea without it impacting any land masses. As it moves closer to us, it will meet some shear and some less-than-bathwater sea temperatures, and that will lessen her impact.

If it did become a tropical storm, and if nothing else forms in the Atlantic before it does, it will be Joaquin. If Joaquin happens somewhere else (and I hope it does, I pronounce Joaquin poorly), our storm would be Kate.

This isn't Katrina or anything, so don't panic. It could rain like hell, and there may be some minor-to-moderate coastal flooding at the beaches. It could also get very breezy. As with any storm, the forecast could change wildly in 12 hours, so keep yourself updated.

We'll have the whole CCM team mobilized if any cool pictures come out of it.

NHC

Skeetobiteweather

The Supermoon Over Duxbury

Our Duxbury Beach photographer, Sara, takes a few cracks at the Supermoon.

Duxbury Beach is a great place to take photos, and the effect is only heightened with a Supermoon.

As you know, a Supermoon is a full (or new) moon happening while the moon is at her closest point in the orbit to us. It appears 16% larger,and 30% brighter.

There is also a Micromoon, known as what I think is spelled apogee-szgyzy. That is when the moon is full at her greatest distance in the orbit from us,and it makes for a sucky pic.

Why we have Sara.... this is what happens when Steve shoots at the Supermoon. He lacks any appreciable skill sets.

... and this is what we get when he plays with the photo-edit software.

Cape Cod Canal Fog

Good Morning, Cape Cod!

Early morning folk know that the Cape Cod Canal, on spring and autumn mornings, often develops her own little Fog River.

There isn't a puff of fog anywhere else in town right now.

I wasn't the only shutterbug around, but I'm savvy enough to not bother the fishermen.

This fog will be gone soon enough, but it's a beautiful show this morning, at least while it lasts.

If you read this right as I post it, come on down and walk in a cloud.

Only on the Canal this morning can you shoot directly at the sun.

At least one person asked me if there was a wildfire burning somewhere. Indiana plates.... shakes head.

I can't imagine how you'd pilot a boat in that. Dead reckoning sounds too ominous.

I love fog, I'd like part of the town to be like this all day.

There is a striper tournament on the Cape this weekend, and you know that a few of them wandered down to the Canal for some morning casts.

They most likely parked their cars on Sandwich Road in unlimited visibility, cut through the woods, and ended up in a film noir scene.

I had to hop around on the Sagamore Bridge for some of these, so be appreciative.

Yes, should have hopped off, I get it, very funny.

I shot this over Route 6 on the Sagamore siply by holding the camera over my head and hoping I got lucky with the clicking.

It may do this tomorrow as well, with the added bonus of a Supermoon descent.

Have a good day, folks! Go Pats!

Scallop Festival Blues

Fiendishly Foisted Food Fest!  

Last weekend brought us the annual Scallop Festival, with all of the prestige and revenue that accompanies it. It really is nice to see our old friend return to... What do you mean, not Bourne???

The people who run the Scallop Festival- the Cape Cod Chamber of Commerce- decided that the event needed a larger venue, and shifted it to the Barnstable County Fairgrounds. The move gives the festival more parking, better facilities, and dare I say a more prestigious locale. The event has swollen in popularity, to the point where it draws in 50,000 people every time they throw it. A larger facility means the chance of more money. It makes perfect sense to move the event off the mainland.

Bourne's claim to the Festival had a fingertip grip at best, buffeted by hopes of a new hotel complex, the arrival of the Commuter Rail, and the revival of the Main Street business district. There was also a nostalgia/historic basis, but that isn't worth a few thousand parking spots these days.

The move also gave a stomach punch to a struggling village, a village that has stood by the Festival for her whole existence. The Scallop Festival has been going on for 45 years. Sometimes it was in the Armory, sometimes in the big tent by the old Playland location, sometimes on the military base, and- until now- in Buzzards Bay Park.

It is was a Bourne tradition. Now, the town is losing their Main Event, the annual gift horse that would fill the hotels, buy out the goods from our stores, and put our gas stations on a paying basis.

Who knows? Some of the people who visited Buzzards Bay during the Festival may have liked it enough to maybe return again and spend more money. We'll never know now, will we?

All summer long, people heading to spend money in other Cape Cod towns clutter up Bourne during any time period you can hang "commute" off of. We're asked to deal with it, so that Eastham and Martha's Vineyard can prosper. We get very little in return for it, other than some people who tire of the traffic enough to pull off of the highway in search of food or gasoline.

The Festival has always been a sort of the last hurrah for Cape Cod's summer, especially when the event coincided with the October scallop harvest. It was fitting that Bourne got the final bow with her Scallop Festival. We took the brunt of the hassle all summer long, so it was only right that we got the last bite out of the tourists before the desolation of winter set in.

The festival was kind of like a Thank You from all the people who had been leaning on Bourne during the peak traffic season, and the town was dependent upon it. Now, they take even THAT away from us. Oh, well, there will be another Canaliversary in 98.75 years, I guess we'll be OK.

Others are not so forgiving. Homeland Security has been tracking a group called Al-Mollusk, who were planning to disrupt the Faux Falmouth Festival. They had an elaborate plan to buy junker cars and use them to block the Bourne Bridge during the festival, depriving Falmouth of anyone Inland while seeing how many Cape Codders will travel through a mob to get scallops and fries.

The town considered her own measures. The big idea was to host an Oyster Festival on the same night. Advertising was to focus heavily on the aphrodisiacal properties of the Oyster, while disparaging the scallop scarfer. "You can go to the Scallop Festival, but if you still love your spouse, you'll be in Bourne instead."

Yeah, we were gonna go right for the friggin' jugular, you really have to these days.

Bourne took it on the chin with this Scalloping of our tradition, and we should already be planning our revenge. If this were the old days, we'd be sending guys across the bridge to burn down their salt mill and deflower their virgins. Those people are lucky that I don't run Bourne, I'd drop those two bridges into the water faster than you can say "Jackie Robinson." I'd try to steal their stupid Road Race.

I can tell you this.... you won't be seeing many people from Bourne down at the Fairgrounds this weekend. It's never nice to see your ex with someone else, especially if they are being fed shellfish.

Southeastern Massachusetts High School Football Schedule And Selections, 9/25-9/26

The author is working on very little sleep, so double check the schedules with a second source before heading out...

Marshfield at Dennis-Yarmouth, 6 PM

Marshfield appears to be taking no shorts this autumn.

Vegas, 31-18


Coyle-Cassidy at Martha's Vineyard, 6:30 PM

Big storm could be offshore... C-Ceasickness and C-Cancellation are possibilities

MV, 13-10


Silver Lake at Whitman-Hanson, 7 PM

Silver Lake is fighting for win #1, but that may not be happening.

W-H, 36-21



Xaverian at Barnstable, 7 PM

Barney is off to a rough start, losing 61-6 or so last week to BC High. Xaverian is just what the doctor ordered. Unfortunately, it was Dr. Mengele.

Xaverian, 48-20


New Bedford at Bridgewater-Raynham, 7 PM

Both teams have Ls on their record, but they were all to impressive teams.

B-R, 21-20



Quincy vs. Plymouth North, 7 PM

Listed as "neutral site" on MaxPreps for some reason, perhaps because they're playing on a neutral site or something. If someone knows, hit me up in the comments.

PN, 20-14


Bishop Feehan at Falmouth, 7 PM

The schedule I'm using also has Bishop Feehan vs Falmouth Academy, I'm not sure if it's the same game or not. I usually use the Globe's schedule, but I've used up my free site visits this month, and, well, eff them. The Globe, not the kids.

Falmouth, 21-19


Scituate at Plymouth South, 7 PM

Two undefeated Plymouth teams colliding at Thanksgiving should be nationally televised.

PS, 28-17


Upper Cape Tech at Bourne, 7 PM

Sandwich Road isn't big enough for two high schools, which is why I think Bourne High is off Trowbridge Road, home of the fabulous Trowbridge Tavern. Boy, oh, boy, did I see Bourne get tuned up by Martha last Friday.... yikes.

Bourne, 28-27



Cardinal Spellman at Weston, 7 PM

Weston is nowhere near Easton, and that will cost them when I make up random scores for these games.

Spellman, 41-10


Hull at Cohasset, 7 PM

If this was a Hull home game, I'd go watch it if I thought there'd be some nice surf in the background for my photos. I'd climb up on top of the friggin' announcers' booth if I had to, don't you even question it.

Cohasset, 28-10



Seekonk at Dighton-Rehoboth, 7 PM

The school's in Dighton, I found out.... North Dighton, to be precise. I'm not sure what differences exist between Dighton and North Dighton, but one of them is a high school with a football field.

D-R, 14-13


Greater New Bedford vs Dartmouth

Because we love irony, we'll point out that Greater New Bedford is a much smaller school than regular New Bedford is.

Dartmouth, 20-7


Duxbury at Hingham, 7 PM

Duxbury lost to friggin' Hollister last Friday, and if you asked me ten days ago, I would have told you that Hollister was a type of sweatshirt that teenage girls wear.

Duxbury, 34-28


Case at Wareham, 7 PM

Case is in Swansea, in case you're curious. Whenever I write about Swansea, I inexplicably want a TV dinner after.

You don't step to the 'Ham on Friday... you just don't.

?ham, 21-20



North Quincy at Hanover, 7 PM

Hangover!

Hanover, 14-12



Old Rochester at Apponequet, 7 PM

Somebody has to win...

Apponequet, 17-13


Southeastern vs Bristol-Plymouth, 7 PM

If the right people ran Bristol-Plymouth, they'd reverse the order of the team name every time they lost. One week they're Bristol-Plymouth, one week they're Plymouth-Bristol.... OK, the idea sucks.

Southeastern, 14-10


Durfee at Fairhaven, 7 PM

Fairhaven's one win came in an 8-6 shootout.

Durfee, 20-19


Middleboro at Pembroke, 7 PM

I'm very stubborn about spelling "Middleboro" like that. The other way reads like you coughed it out or something. Max Preps has this also listed as a Saturday game, so plan more carefully.

Middleboro, 20-13


East Bridgewater at Rockland, 7 PM

Eastie has a couple of impressive wins, but they get a test with 30 Rock.

EB, 28-27


Bishop Stang at Somerset-Berkley, 7 PM

In honor of the Pope's visit, I'm ascribing superpowers to the Catholic schools.

Stank, 30-17



Blue Hills at Diman, 7 PM

I'm not sure- OK, I have no idea- how "Diman" is pronounced. I suppose it's sort of like "the man," as it would otherwise sound like "demon"... and we may be writing about a Catholic school here, player.

Blueberry Hills, 17-14



Catholic Memorial at Brockton, 7 PM

CM beat Hartford, but it was Hartford, Vermont. I think they may have also pinned Duxbury pretty badly in the preseason, too.

CM, 28-24


Sandwich at Nauset, 7 PM

They have a perfectly good mascot already (I think it's a Dolphin, not really sure), but "Nauset Nausea" would be a fine and intimidating team name. Some sort of Pop Warner or Cape League team should take that name, as long as they remember to cut the Idea Man in on the payoff. I've got needs, my friend...

Sandwich, 17-12



Carver at Mashpee, 7 PM

Tough call.

Mashpee, 20-19



SATURDAY

Tri-County vs Bishop Connolly-Westport, 7 TBD (sorry)

"Bishop Connolly-Westport" sounds like one of those Rodham-Clinton hyphenated married names, which is a funny name to see hanging off a Bishop.

BCW, 24-21


Old Colony Voke vs South Shore Tech, 11 AM

They're both actually Voke Techs, but I essentially split two aces. SSVT is in Hanover, if you're on the away team.

OC, 13-12


West Bridgewater at Sacred Heart (Kingston), 11 AM

The WB might get lost negotiating the Kingston boondocks. Otherwise, 3 TD rout.

WB, 28-7


Cape Cod Tech at Monomoy, 1 PM

I want to see what Monomoy''s helmet looks like just badly enough to not drive out there for a game. Maybe they play Bourne later, hopefully at home. If the right people were running Monomoy, they'd have a shark tank in one or both of the end zones. It's not like they don't have a thucking fousand of them out there or anything...

Monomoy, 31-13


Buckingham, Browne and Nichols at Tabor, 1 PM

I may be wrong on the Nicks part, but wasn't Buckingham, Browne and Nichols three quarters of Fleetwood Mac?

BBN, 30-19


Holbrook/Avon at Nantucket, 5 PM

Two on one! No fair!

Nanny, 38-10


Randolph at Abington, 6 PM

Abby is always rock solid.

Abington, 21-14


Marian-Keefe Tech vs St. John Paul II, 7 PM

Not sure where they're playing this.

STJP2, 21-10

Westport Hurricane Planner

Nothing should be West of Westport, but I didn't draw this map....

There are no imminent storms, Westport is just next up to bat in our ongoing series.

We have two maps from FEMA to check out today. The map above is a Hurricane Inundation map, and it depicts storm surge from a direct hit hurricane visiting Westport at mean high tide. It also shows what sort of storm would be needed to soak certain regions, which we'll get to in a minute.

The map is from the combined efforts of FEMA, MEMA, NOAA and the NHC. They use the funny-weatherman-titled SLOSH model of storm surge estimation. They do not depict freshwater flooding.

The colors relate to the Saffir-Simpson scale of hurricane intensity, and break down like this:

Light Green = Category 1 hurricane. Hurricane Gloria was one of these, and the offshore Halloween Gale was, too. Although not a tropical system, the Blizzard of '78 did Cat. 1-style damage.

Dark Green = Category 2 hurricane. Hurricane Bob was one of these.

Yellow = Category 3 hurricane. We've only had five of these hit New England since the Other Man arrived in 1620, the most recent being Hurricane Carol in 1954.

Pink = Category 4 hurricane. We've had one in recorded New England history, and it struck in 1635.

Flesh = One Hundred Year FEMA Food Zone. This is the "100 year storm" you hear people speak of, but you have to go pre-Colombian to find them ("going pre-Colombian" means using salt marsh soil samples to look for sand layering associated with large hurricanes). New England has had storms in the Category 4+ level in the 1100s, the 1300s, and the 1400s.

Sorry about Flesh, but my knowledge of color names was and continues to be heavily influenced by whoever was in charge at Crayola in the 1970s.

We shall leave the street-by-street analysis to the reader, who can use the links I'll throw in at the end of the article to zoom in on their own house if it suits them.

Note that you don't need to be in a shaded area to get yourself a quick and sudden Ending. You can have a tree fall on you, have your car washed out in street flooding, step on a downed power line, get purged by looters, enjoy the Robespierre treatment from flying shingles, be summarily executed by National Guardsmen, or even stumble into a sharknado. There's no shortage of ways for you to get Left.

With that in mind, we now present to you the down-there-somewhere Evacuation Zone map.

Remember, you don't HAVE to leave when 5-0 tells you to. Also remember that the cop you read the Constitution to before the storm may be the one who has to fish you out of the drink when the ship hits the fan.

The E-map is easier to read, as it is made up of only two colors.

Red = Get Out.

Yellow = Get the f*** out

Sorry about the map, but you can see a better version by using the links

Bone up on some cool, hurricane-related information!

Hurricane Inundation Maps

Evacuation Maps

Worst Hurricanes To Hit New England

List of all hurricanes to hit New England

FEMA

MEMA

NOAA

NHC

1. 
   

   
   

   Posted Yesterday by Cape Beast

   Location: Wellfleet, MA, USA

   Labels: atlantic ocean cape co national seashore cape cod cape cod bay hurricane outer cape route 6 wellfleetwellfleet harbor

     

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2. 
   

   SEP

   21

   
   

   Dennis-Yarmouth Hurricane Information 

   

   
   There are no imminent storms, Dennis-Yarmouth are just next up to bat in our ongoing series.
   
   We have two maps from FEMA to check out today. The map above is a Hurricane Inundation map, and it depicts storm surge from a direct hit hurricane visiting D-Y at mean high tide. It also shows what sort of storm would be needed to soak certain regions, which we'll get to in a minute.
   
   The map is from the combined efforts of FEMA, MEMA, NOAA and the NHC. They use the funny-weatherman-titled SLOSH model of storm surge estimation. They do not depict freshwater flooding.
   
   The colors relate to the Saffir-Simpson scale of hurricane intensity, and break down like this:
   
   Light Green = Category 1 hurricane. Hurricane Gloria was one of these, and the offshore Halloween Gale was, too. Although not a tropical system, the Blizzard of '78 did Cat. 1-style damage.
   
   Dark Green = Category 2 hurricane. Hurricane Bob was one of these.
   
   Yellow = Category 3 hurricane. We've only had five of these hit New England since the Other Man arrived in 1620, the most recent being Hurricane Carol in 1954.
   
   Pink = Category 4 hurricane. We've had one in recorded New England history, and it struck in 1635.
   
   Flesh = One Hundred Year FEMA Food Zone. This is the "100 year storm" you hear people speak of, but you have to go pre-Colombian to find them ("going pre-Colombian" means using salt marsh soil samples to look for sand layering associated with large hurricanes). New England has had storms in the Category 4+ level in the 1100s, the 1300s, and the 1400s.
   
   Sorry about Flesh, but my knowledge of color names was and continues to be heavily influenced by whoever was in charge at Crayola in the 1970s.
   
   

   We shall leave the street-by-street analysis to the reader, who can use the links I'll throw in at the end of the article to zoom in on their own house if it suits them.
   
   Note that you don't need to be in a shaded area to get yourself a quick and sudden Ending. You can have a tree fall on you, have your car washed out in street flooding, step on a downed power line, get purged by looters, enjoy the Robespierre treatment from flying shingles, be summarily executed by National Guardsmen, or even stumble into a sharknado. There's no shortage of ways for you to get Left.
   
   With that in mind, we now present to you the down-there-somewhere Evacuation Zone map.
   
   Remember, you don't HAVE to leave when 5-0 tells you to. Also remember that the cop you read the Constitution to before the storm may be the one who has to fish you out of the drink when the ship hits the fan.
   
   The E-map is easier to read, as it is made up of only two colors.
   
   Red = Get Out.
   
   Yellow = Get the f*** out.
   
   
   

   

   
   
   Hurricane Inundation Maps
   
   Evacuation Maps
   
   Worst Hurricanes To Hit New England
   
   List of all hurricanes to hit New England
   

   
   

   FEMA
   
   MEMA
   
   NOAA
   
   NHC

   
   

   

   
   

   Posted Yesterday by Cape Beast

   Location: South Yarmouth, Yarmouth, MA, USA

   Labels: atlantic ocean cape cod cape cod bay dennis dennis port dennis-yarmouth nantucket sound yarmouthyarmouth port yarmouth-dennis

     

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3. 
   

   SEP

   21

   
   

   Chatham Hurricane Special 

   

   
   Chatham is, if you view Cape Cod as a big fist being shaken towards Europe, the Elbow. Like any other elbow, it's gonna get banged off things now and then. In this case, instead of a table, its a Hurricane.
   
   There are no imminent storms, Chatham is just next up to bat in our ongoing series.
   
   We have two maps from FEMA to check out today. The map above is a Hurricane Inundation map, and it depicts storm surge from a direct hit hurricane visiting Chatham at mean high tide. It also shows what sort of storm would be needed to soak certain regions, which we'll get to in a minute.
   
   The map is from the combined efforts of FEMA, MEMA, NOAA and the NHC. They use the funny-weatherman-titled SLOSH model of storm surge estimation. They do not depict freshwater flooding.
   
   The colors relate to the Saffir-Simpson scale of hurricane intensity, and break down like this:
   
   Light Green = Category 1 hurricane. Hurricane Gloria was one of these, and the offshore Halloween Gale was, too. Although not a tropical system, the Blizzard of '78 did Cat. 1-style damage.
   
   Dark Green = Category 2 hurricane. Hurricane Bob was one of these.
   
   Yellow = Category 3 hurricane. We've only had five of these hit New England since the Other Man arrived in 1620, the most recent being Hurricane Carol in 1954.
   
   Pink = Category 4 hurricane. We've had one in recorded New England history, and it struck in 1635.
   
   Flesh = One Hundred Year FEMA Food Zone. This is the "100 year storm" you hear people speak of, but you have to go pre-Colombian to find them ("going pre-Colombian" means using salt marsh soil samples to look for sand layering associated with large hurricanes). New England has had storms in the Category 4+ level in the 1100s, the 1300s, and the 1400s.
   
   Sorry about Flesh, but my knowledge of color names was and continues to be heavily influenced by whoever was in charge at Crayola in the 1970s.
   
   

   

   Zoomed out... blurry, but anything unshaded is flooded....

   We shall leave the street-by-street analysis to the reader, who can use the links I'll throw in at the end of the article to zoom in on their own house if it suits them.
   
   Note that you don't need to be in a shaded area to get yourself a quick and sudden Ending. You can have a tree fall on you, have your car washed out in street flooding, step on a downed power line, get purged by looters, enjoy the Robespierre treatment from flying shingles, be summarily executed by National Guardsmen, or even stumble into a sharknado. There's no shortage of ways for you to get Left.
   
   With that in mind, we now present to you the down-there-somewhere Evacuation Zone map.
   
   Remember, you don't HAVE to leave when 5-0 tells you to. Also remember that the cop you read the Constitution to before the storm may be the one who has to fish you out of the drink when the ship hits the fan.
   
   The E-map is easier to read, as it is made up of only two colors.
   
   Red = Get Out.
   
   Yellow = Get the f*** out.
   
   
   

   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   Hurricane Inundation Maps
   
   Evacuation Maps
   
   Worst Hurricanes To Hit New England
   
   List of all hurricanes to hit New England
   

   
   

   FEMA
   
   MEMA
   
   NOAA
   
   NHC

   
   

   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   
   

   Posted Yesterday by Cape Beast

   Location: Chatham, MA, USA

   Labels: atlantic ocean cape cod charwich chatham coastal flooding evacuation FEMA hurricane inundationmema monomoy nantucket sound NHC noaa nws seals sharks shore road

     

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5. 
   

   SEP

   21

   
   

   Sandwich Hurricane Information 

   

   Sandwich is a town with a funny name, even in a state that has a Marblehead and an Athol in it. Sandwich is also a town with gorgeous beaches and marshes, which are awesome for 364 days a year. Those beaches and marshes become a problem when a hurricane comes to town.
   
   We come to you today to talk about hurricane maps. These maps come from FEMA, MEMA, NOAA and NHC. The map at the top of the page is a Hurricane Inundation Map.
   
   Here's how it works:
   
   Light Green = Category 1 hurricane. Hurricane Gloria was one of these, and the offshore Halloween Gale was, too. Although not a tropical system, the Blizzard of '78 did Cat. 1-style damage.
   
   Dark Green = Category 2 hurricane. Hurricane Bob was one of these.
   
   Yellow = Category 3 hurricane. We've only had five of these hit New England since the Other Man arrived in 1620, the most recent being Hurricane Carol in 1954.
   
   Pink = Category 4 hurricane. We've had one in recorded New England history, and it struck in 1635.
   
   Flesh = One Hundred Year FEMA Food Zone. This is the "100 year storm" you hear people speak of, but you have to go pre-Colombian to find them ("going pre-Colombian" means using salt marsh soil samples to look for sand layering associated with large hurricanes). New England has had storms in the Category 4+ level in the 1100s, the 1300s, and the 1400s.
   
   Sorry about Flesh, but my knowledge of color names was and continues to be heavily influenced by whoever was in charge at Crayola in the 1970s.
   
   

   

   Yes, that's Duxbury, and yes, that's from a nor'easter and not a hurricane, but it is Inundation.

   "Inundation" is a big word for "storm surge," which are two small words for "saltwater pushed ashore ahead of an incoming cyclone." Feel free to develop more colorful terms like Deathwash or Liquid Doom if that gets your people serious. Flooding is the big killer in hurricanes, sort of what artillery is to warfare.
   
   This map is based on the zany-weatherman-titled SLOSH model for storm surge inundation. It depicts the inundation that FEMA thinks will occur with a direct-hit hurricane arriving at mean high tide. It does not account for freshwater flooding. It also shows what intensity (on the Saffir-Simpson hurricane intensity scale) of storm would be needed to soak certain parts of Sammich.
   
   I have written this very same article for every town in SE Massachusetts with a coastline, and many towns are tricky with flooding. Pembroke, which isn't even near the ocean, will get some salt water in a bad enough hurricane. Mattapoisett floods several miles inland, while New Bedford should- in theory- hardly flood at all.
   
   Sandwich isn't even a little bit tricky. Most of her flooding will occur very close to shore, and you can pretty much guess where it will happen if you take a Sunday drive through town. Granted, someone with my job has looked at a lot of hurricane inundation maps and gets sort of jaded with coastal destruction, but nothing on the Sandwich map makes me say "Damn... who woulda thunk?"
   
   

   

   That's not snow, it's, uhm, stubborn hurricane wave foam...

   Now, don't look at that map, see that your neighborhood isn't colored (FEMA is very egalitarian, and "colored" neighborhoods on FEMA maps are generally populated by less swarthy, waterfront-property-having folks... towns with significant minority populations usually have them in the White neighborhoods), and think that you are off the hook from hurricane damage if one comes up on us. No.
   
   You can get Ended in an innumerable amount of ways if a hurricane hits Sammich, only a few of which involve saltwater inundation. You could step on a downed power line, get the Charles I treatment from flying debris, drown in pond flooding, have a tree fall on your car, get crucified by purging looters, get swallowed (either up into a cyclone or down into a whirlpool), drown in your attic, suffer summary execution by the National Guard, stumble into a sharknado... trust me, I'm just scratching the surface here, player.
   
   We want you alive. Beyond base reasoning like "If you actually looked at this article, we cherish you and cannot fiscally afford to lose your potential site visits," we also have a sort of "If they utilized the article properly, they live" professional pride thing going on. We also want you alive for regular, nice-person reasons. You're our kind of people.
   
   This leads into our next map, the Evacuation Zone map. This one is much less nuanced than the Inundation map, in that there are only two colors.
   
   They basically break down to:
   
   Pink = These people should leave.
   
   Yellow = You should leave, too.
   
   

   

   
   
   Here are a few things that my highly trained eye sees with these here maps of ours:
   
   - Storms will be very, very capable of washing out Route 6A in some spots. This makes Scorton Neck into an island.
   
   - Add that to "the bridges close when the winds top 70 mph or so," and you have a Trapped Sandwich.
   
   - Marylou's of Sandwich is vulnerable to Category 4 storms, a problem I expect them to have solved before the next Category 4 storm hits. I need Marylou's, as I don't like Red Bull and this site doesn't make enough for me to afford cocaine.
   
   - The Sandwich fire and police stations are vulnerable to even a minimal hurricane.
   
   - You're safe off Route 130, and I'd encourage coastal people to befriend someone off 130 well enough to be granted asylum from the storm.
   
   - Even a minor hurricane will at least temporarily end Sandwich's above-water presence on the mainland.
   
   - The Canal would only spill over in Category 3 and above.
   
   - The power plant is safe from flooding in all but the worst storms, according to FEMA.
   
   - Ridiculous shoreline change is likely, with much sand loss into the marshes. Thanks to the Canal jetty and certain legislative failures, no replenishing sand will be forthcoming.
   
   - We'll leave the street-by-street analysis to the reader. You can use the maps on the site to zoom in to your very home. We'll link you up at the end of the article, no worries.
   
   - Seek out and question whichever old-timer has lived in your neighborhood the longest. Ask him or her what happened in Hurricane Carol. Find out how bad the road flooded, what happened to your house, how impossible escape was, and all that. You should never fail to utilize the Old School when planning your personal emergency response.
   
   

   

   
   Bone up on the Hurricane Information with these handy links:
   
   Hurricane Inundation Maps
   
   Evacuation Maps
   
   Worst Hurricanes To Hit New England
   
   List of all hurricanes to hit New England
   

   
   

   FEMA
   
   MEMA
   
   NOAA
   
   NHC

   
   Sandwich Flood Mitigation Plan
   
   (pictures by FEMA, Stacey Moreau and Carter Malpass)

   Posted 2 days ago by Cape Beast

   Location: Sandwich, Sandwich, MA, USA

   Labels: atlantic ocean cape cod bay Cape Cod Canal FEMA hurricane mema NHC noaa route 130 route 6asandwich scorton's neck town neck

     

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6. 
   

   SEP

   20

   
   

   NFL Week 2 Picks 

   
   

   

   
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET At Carolina -3 Houston 39.5
   
   MC Mallett (comes in at 0:25) takes over in Texas, with predictable results.
   
   Carolina, 20-10
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET At New Orleans -9.5 Tampa Bay 47
   
   Tampa had about 40 points put up on them by the QB they passed over in the draft to get a guy named Jameis.
   
   NO, 41-14
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET At Pittsburgh -6.5 San Francisco 45.5
   
   San Francsco ran right over Minnesota, which is sort of disppointing because I went to (Teddy) Bridgewater State University and want to get one of his jerseys instead of the uglier BSU one. I don't want to get his jersey if he's inept.
   
   Pittsburgh, 28-20
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET At Minnesota -2 Detroit 43.5
   
   I already used my BSU line, so we'll just point out here that the last RB to play Minny ran for 160 yards and 2 TDs. I'm sure that Detroit has factored this into the old game plan.
   
   Detroit, 24-21
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET At Buffalo  PK New England 44.5
   
   Not related, but the last Pick 'Em tip I got for a game ended with me watching Bourne go down 42-0 last Friday. Fortunately, I don't bet on high school football any more... very often.... in large sums.
   
   New England 24-21
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET Arizona -2 At Chicago 46
   
   I like Chicago for absolutely no logical reason at all.
   
   Chicago, 21-17
   
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET Tennessee -1.5 At Cleveland 41.5
   
   Everyone hates Johnny Football, but I'm rooting for him. I want him to win without giving up his evil ways. "Weird heroes and mould-breaking champions exist as living proof to those who need it that the tyranny of 'the rat race' is not yet final.”
   
   Cleveland, 24-18
   
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET At Cincinnati -3 San Diego 47
   
   I've been writing about the NFL for 12 years now, an I still have to double-check when I spell "Cincinnati." Just did it right there, you see. I also can not memorize the spelling of "Apponequet," but that only matters when I write the high school columns.
   
   Cincy, 28-24
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET St. Louis -3 At Washington 41
   
   The last time these two teams played, the Rams sent out every guy they got in the RGIII trade for the coin flip. It was like 8 guys. RGIII's job this week is to make sure that no one steals the bench by holding it down with his ass.
   
   St. Louis, 24-3
   
   
   9/20 1:00 ET At NY Giants -2.5 Atlanta 51
   
   The best pass rusher in NY has like 2 fingers on his dominant hand, so what's not to like?
   
   Atlanta, 31-24
   
   
   9/20 4:05 ET Baltimore -6.5 At Oakland 43
   
   I want a cigarette every time I say "Joe Flacco" for some reason.
   
   Baltimore, 30-10
   
   
   9/20 4:05 ET Miami -5.5 At Jacksonville 41.5
   
   Only warriors in the Amazon- none of whom I can contact, and none of whom follow the NFL- can tell you if a Dolphin or a Jaguar would win in a fight. Unrelated: Why doesn't the car company pay Jacksonville to use their car logo on the football helmet?
   
   Miami, 24-14
   
   
   9/20 4:25 ET At Philadelphia -5 Dallas 55
   
   Dez breaking his foot doomed like 5 of my fantasy teams in Week 1.
   
   Philly, 35-21
   
   
   9/20 8:30 ET At Green Bay -3.5 Seattle 49
   
   Jordy Nelson doomed the other 5.
   
   Seattle, 20-19
   
   
   Monday Night Football Line
   9/21 8:30 ET At Indianapolis -7 NY Jets 47
   
   Indy looked butter-soft last week, but NY looks weak pretty much all the time.
   
   Indy, 31-20
   
   
   FANTASY
   
   We took an L last week, although it would have been closer if DeSean Jackson didn't tap out of the game after one friggin play. Our other WRs combined to score 5 points. Those same guys are starting this week, because Alshon Jeffery is taking the day off as well. Andre Johnson will be on Revis Island, too. We do have Chris Johnson, unemployed a few months ago, rising up into the flex spot.
   
   CJ2K is a gut call, as my other options are Bishop Sankey (may have had his one good game of the year already) aand LeGarrette Blount (first game back after suspension).
   
   I'm up 20-11, as my defense put up 20 on KC, while his WR1 (Thomas) got 11 points.
   
   Magnanimous Sunni Chieftans
   
   QB Andrew Luck
   RB Marshawn Lynch
   RB Joseph Randle
   WR Andre Johnson
   WR Anquan Bolden
   TE Duane Allen
   FX Chris Johnson
   D/S Denver Broncos
   K Steven Hauschka
   
   Our honorable opponents, Deez Nutzzzz:
   
   QB Russell Wilson
   RB Adrian Peterson
   RB Alfred Morris
   WR Demaryius Thomas
   WR Brandon Marshall
   TE Greg Olsen
   FX DeAngelo Williams
   D/S Houston Texans
   K Stephen Gostkowski
   
   

   Posted 3 days ago by Cape Beast

     

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7. 
   

   SEP

   19

   
   

   Barnstable Hurricane Information 

   

   
   Barnstable is in a position not unlike that which Germany faced in the World Wars. They have a two front battle going on if a hurricane arrives.
   
   We have two maps from FEMA to check out today. The map above is a Hurricane Inundation map, and it depicts storm surge from a direct hit hurricane visiting Barnstable at mean high tide. It also shows what sort of storm would be needed to soak certain regions, which we'll get to in a minute.
   
   The map is from the combined efforts of FEMA, MEMA, NOAA and the NHC. They use the funny-weatherman-titled SLOSH model of storm surge estimation. They do not depict freshwater flooding.
   
   The colors relate to the Saffir-Simpson scale of hurricane intensity, and break down like this:
   
   Light Green = Category 1 hurricane. Hurricane Gloria was one of these, and the offshore Halloween Gale was, too. Although not a tropical system, the Blizzard of '78 did Cat. 1-style damage.
   
   Dark Green = Category 2 hurricane. Hurricane Bob was one of these.
   
   Yellow = Category 3 hurricane. We've only had five of these hit New England since the Other Man arrived in 1620, the most recent being Hurricane Carol in 1954.
   
   Pink = Category 4 hurricane. We've had one in recorded New England history, and it struck in 1635.
   
   Flesh = One Hundred Year FEMA Food Zone. This is the "100 year storm" you hear people speak of, but you have to go pre-Colombian to find them ("going pre-Colombian" means using salt marsh soil samples to look for sand layering associated with large hurricanes). New England has had storms in the Category 4+ level in the 1100s, the 1300s, and the 1400s.
   
   Sorry about Flesh, but my knowledge of color names was and continues to be heavily influenced by whoever was in charge at Crayola in the 1970s.
   
   

   

   
   We shall leave the street-by-street analysis to the reader, who can use the links I'll throw in at the end of the article to zoom in on their own house if it suits them.
   
   Note that you don't need to be in a shaded area to get yourself a quick and sudden Ending. You can have a tree fall on you, have your car washed out in street flooding, step on a downed power line, get purged by looters, enjoy the Robespierre treatment from flying shingles, be summarily executed by National Guardsmen, or even stumble into a sharknado. There's no shortage of ways for you to get Left.
   
   With that in mind, we now present to you the down-there-somewhere Evacuation Zone map.
   
   Remember, you don't HAVE to leave when 5-0 tells you to. Also remember that the cop you read the Constitution to before the storm may be the one who has to fish you out of the drink when the ship hits the fan.
   
   The E-map is easier to read, as it is made up of only two colors.
   
   Red = Get Out.
   
   Yellow = Get the f*** out.
   
   

   

   Notice that Route 28 washes out in a few spots.

   
   

   

   It's a big town, we break the maps down a bit to make it easier for you

   
   

   

   Egad! The Hyannis Port Compound could get soaked!

   
   
   Hurricane Inundation Maps
   
   Evacuation Maps
   
   Worst Hurricanes To Hit New England
   
   List of all hurricanes to hit New England
   

   
   

   FEMA
   
   MEMA
   
   NOAA
   
   NHC

   
   
   
   
   
   
   

   Posted 3 days ago by Cape Beast

   Location: Barnstable, MA, USA

   Labels: barnstable cape cod bay centerville coastal flooding FEMA hurricane hyannis hyannis port kennedy compound meme nantucket sound NHC noaa nws osterville route 28

     

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9. 
   

   SEP

   19

   
   

   Bourne Special Effects 

   

   Red skies at night...

   
   

   

   ...quarter mile visibility in the morning.

   
   

   

   Our fog fights their sun and almost wins...

   
   

   

   Cranberry Highway, heading towards the Seafood Shanty and Barlow's

   
   

   

   Fishing for some fog...

   
   

   
   

   Posted 4 days ago by Cape Beast

     

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