NFL Conference Championships Schedule, Betting Lines

1/22 3:05 ET At Atlanta -5.5 Green Bay 61    FOX

A 61 point over/under is ridiculous, indicative of a shootout. The funny part is that it may be conservative.

While Green Bay's defense does their level best, both teams are pretty much the easy whore of Mister Touchdown, and will give themselves to him all day. You could very well see more points than a Seurat painting.

That 61 points seems conservative, unless you are betting on Green Bay winning in a rout, 46-14 or something like that.

I don't think Atlanta is all that. I was amazed that they beat Seattle, who I am happy to see out of the playoffs. That was the only game I blew last week.

Thusly, I see Green Bay going way the hell up early, with Atlanta scoring enough to keep you from losing interest. However, the outcome will never be in doubt.

Green Bay, 38-24


1/22 6:40 ET At New England -6 Pittsburgh 50.5    CBS

There's a big nor'easter heading towards New England, which I wish would be a foot of snow but will probably be an inch of rain.

(Please note that the Weather Desk and the Sports Desk at Cranberry County Magazine sometimes disagree, and that the Weather Desk thinks that the rain will hold off until the ride home from Foxboro. However, there is a belief at both Desks that, if he really needs to, Bill Belichick can exert some influence on the weather.)

We also have our spies about, and they tell me that the flu/stomach bug is running wild in the Pittsburgh locker room. LeVeon Bell may indeed get 175 total yards, but still have an Uta Pippig ending.

Expect many ROG-ERRRR chants, as the NFL Commish is cowering in Georgia. He is going to hand us that trophy this year, and he's going to learn to like doing it.

Not having Gronkowski is tough, but I get the sense that the Pats are going all the way this year, and Pittsburgh is just the next clown out of the car.

New England, 27-24

Cranberry County Magazine's NFL Mock Draft

It's time once again for the Cranberry County Magazine NFL Mock Draft! The real draft is going down soon, so we're here to help you with the process.

We're linking to the DC Pro Sports Mock Draft Database.

Our panel of experts (Stephen, Stacey, Abdullah, Jessica, Cranberry Jones) split the teams up between them, loaded up on Marylou's Coffee, locked themselves away, created a cloud of smoke and went to draft-war against each other.

We're only going 3 rounds, mostly because the bottom falls out of the Patriots' draft after that. We also have only-so-many jokes about large men pushing each other about.

If you only care about the Pats and want to skip down and find out who we think they'll be adding to the squad next year, scroll down to Round 2 and Round 3 (60, 61, 90, 96). That should be easy enough for you, slacker!

The fact that no NFL expert of any sort has noted that we regularly kick Mel Kiper's ass all over God's jolly green earth should not deter you from accepting this mock draft as absolute football Gospel. If the actual real draft goes differently than what we tell you here, it means that They f*cked up and not Us... with the exception of Belichick, of course.

Round 1

1. Los Angeles Rams (from Tennessee Titans)... Jared Goff, QB

If, in a few years, you see California sports pages with jokes like "They've developed a really bad Goff" or "retired, now playing Goff," this pick may have just doomed football in Los Angeles.


2. Philadelphia Eagles (from Cleveland Browns)... Carson Wentz, QB

This pick was looking very Cleveland, i.e. "Well, Johnny Football blew up in our faces, let's draft this big stiff out of Somewhere Dakota State." I was kinda shocked to see the Brow pick up a king's ransom instead. The "gaggle of picks for one guy" trades usually work out for the gaggle-of-picks guys. Again, if headlines in the future ask "I wonder where Carson Wentz," I wouldn't want to be in Philadelphia.


3. San Diego Chargers...  Jalen Ramsey, DB

An OT would be nice, but they seem to think they're All Set there. If that's the case, we'll shore up their secondary.


4. Dallas Cowboys... Ezekiel Elliot, RB

Tony Romo will have a hard time getting injured if he's handing the ball to this guy often enough. I may have missed them adding someone, but sans Ezekiel, they have a Darren McFadden/Alfred Morris tandem.


5. Jacksonville Jaguars... Myles Jack, LB

They have a few holes to fill in New Jack City, but "Jack, from Jacksonville" has a nice ring to it.


6. Baltimore Ravens... Laremy Tunsil, OT

A potentially great left tackle drops into their laps. He'll make sure that No Whacko smokes Joe Flacco like Toe-Bacco.


7. San Francisco 49ers... DeForest Buckner, DE

At 6'7", even if he can't get sacks, the other teams' QBs will probably have 3-6 passes a game deflected by his head if he's positioned well.


8. Cleveland Browns (from Philadelphia Eagles, Miami Dolphins)... Corey Coleman, WR

Philly climbed through this team to get a QB. Cleveland trades away the chance to get a QB so that, once the dust settles, they end up getting a fine guy for their non-existent QB to throw to.


9. Tampa Bay Buccaneers... Joey Bosa, DE

"Joey Bosa" sounds like the guy who comes looking for you if you f*ck up a loan and fail to pay off a certain influential Sicilian businessman.


10. New York Giants... Ronnie Stanley, OT

"Two Manning brothers with neck injuries," sounds just fine and dandy to me, but I'm not running the Giants.


11. Chicago Bears... Vernon Hargreaves, CB

They have some prominent QBs throwing on them twice a season, so they could use some talent in the secondary.


12. New Orleans Saints... Shaq Lawson, DE

LSU did OK with the Shaq that they had, so we'll see if the Shaq Effect carries over to the pros.


13. Miami Dolphins (from Philadelphia Eagles).... Jack Conklin, OL

They have a hole at Guard, as well as a potential hole behind fragile OT Brandon Albert.


14. Oakland Raiders... William Jackson, CB

If you don't look like a good bet to score many points against Denver, you may as well try to keep Denver from scoring points. Make it all come down to a field goal, the little kicker people make the potential European viewers happy.


15. Tennessee Titans (from Los Angeles Rams).... Taylor Decker, OT

This would give them bookend Taylors on the offensive line.


16. Detroit Lions... Sheldon Rankins, DT

They let two first-round DTs go last year, and it made them soft in the middle.


17. Atlanta Falcons... Leonard Floyd, LB

They get a Georgia kid, which will please the local yokels.


18. Indianapolis Colts... Jarran Reed, DT

Indy was, is, and may always be the easy whore of Mister Touchdown, U.S.A for all of eternity. Jarran Reed at least won't be easy.


19. Buffalo Bills... Reggie Ragland, LB

He's a good name to know if you get a lot of Rs and Gs from a Scrabble bag.


20. New York Jets... Paxton Lynch... QB

I wonder what Sam Bradford costs?


21. Washington Redskins... Chris Jones, DL

It never hurts to build along the lines.


22. Houston Texans... Andrew Billings, DT

They could use a better guy up front with Vin and JJ. I'd bet that JJ would enjoy mentoring the young fellow.


23. Minnesota Vikings... Josh Doctson, WR

I went to Bridgewater State, and was going to buy a BSU jersey for all of those games I don't go to. However, a Bridgewater jersey from the Vikings would be cool to show up in. My boy needs someone to throw to, though.


24. Cincinnati Bengals... Sterling Shephard, WR

They take him because there isn't a player named "Stop Taking Stupid Penalties In Playoff Games."


25. Pittsburgh Steelers... Vernon Butler, NT

The Patriots dominated the NFL with #1 picks on the front end of  3-4 defense, why wouldn't it work in Pennsylvania?


26. Seattle Seahawks... Ryan Kelly, C

They traded away their center to get Jimmy Graham last year, and they try to wipe that mark off the board with this pick.


27. Green Bay Packers... A'Shawn Robinson, DL

A run-stopper never hurts in a division with AP.


28. Kansas City Chiefs... Will Fuller, WR

They need people to catch the ball, and even a short-throw QB needs a speed guy. Shoot, even I can throw it 20 yards, and if this dude is fast enough, he should be all alone after 20 yards.


29. New England Patriots (Forfeited)

Grrrrr....


29. Arizona Cardinals... Eli Apple, CB

They stole our pick! Well, not really...


30. Carolina Panthers... Germain Ifedi, OT

Unless I was trippin' balls during what I thought was the Super Bowl, Carolina needs help on the OL.


31. Denver Broncos... MacKenzie Alexander, CB

It never hurts to be covered in the event of an Aqib Talib injury.

Round 2

1 (32). Cleveland Browns... Darron Lee, LB

If he gets a back injury, they can play it like Bewitched and just find another Darron somewhere.


2 (33). Tennessee Titans... LaQuon Treadwell, WR

"Ole Miss" sounds like what you'd call an elderly neighbor when you are beyond the range of her hearing aid.


3 (34). Dallas Cowboys... Jaylon Smith, LB

"Jaylon" would rhyme with "Whale On" with a Texas accent.


4 (35). San Diego Chargers...  Noah Spence, LB

He can make two separate tackles at the same time if the ball carriers are of the same species.


5 (36). Baltimore Ravens... Rashard Higgins, WR

They may as well groom a WR, seeing as Steve Smith is nearing 50.


6 (37). San Francisco 49ers... Pharoh Cooper, WR

"Pharoh" is my favorite name in the draft so far, although we may work a "Scooby" into the top 100.


7 (38). Jacksonville Jaguars... Cyrus Jones, CB

"Cannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn you dig it????"


8 (39). Tampa Bay Buccaneers... Robert Nkemdiche, DL

pronounced "Nkemdiche."


9 (40). New York Giants... Kevin Dodd, DE

If he has all ten of his fingers, that's a plus.


10 (41). Chicago Bears... Hunter Henry, TE

Their best TE plays for New England, so they may want to look into the position on Day 2.


11 (42). Miami Dolphins... Kenneth Dixon, RB

Miami has a giant hole in the backfield, and they can just truck this kid over from LSU.


12 (43). Tennessee Titans (from Los Angeles Rams, Philadelphia Eagles)... Kalan Reed, CB

TT gathers up some booty from the #1 overall pick.


13 (44). Oakland Raiders... Shilique Calhoun, DE

This gives them a Khalid and a Shilique on the edges, something you don't see at Duxbury High School many years.


14 (45). Tennessee Titans (from Los Angeles Rams)... Nick Martin, C

If you took a QB at #2 overall like TT did last year, you want to give him 1) a LT to watch his back (check), a WR to throw to (check), and a guy to hike the ball to him (check). They took the cornerback to keep the defense guys from complaining.


15 (46). Detroit Lions... Leonte Carroo, WR

There will never be another Calvin Johnson, but there probably aren't a lot of guys named Leonte Carroo walking around, either.


16 (47). New Orleans Saints... Sheldon Day, DL

If the whole football thing doesn't work out for Sheldon, they can always use him to plug a hole in a levee.


17 (48). Indianapolis Colts... Joe Schobert, LB

You'd better watch out, you'd better not cry... why? Joe Schobert is comin' to town.


18 (49). Buffalo Bills... Cody Whitehair, OG

Buffalo needs a young OL guy for Richie Incognito to bully.


19 (50). Atlanta Falcons... Michael Thomas, WR

Matty Ice needs some more people to throw to.


20 (51). New York Jets... Jason Spriggs, OT

He's a project, but they'll probably let him learn on the job while the future QB learns from the safety of the bench.


21 (52). Houston Texans... Joe Dahl, OL

He could be a tackle, a guard or even a center.



22 (53). Washington Redskins... Paul Perkins, RB

Better call Paul!



23 (54). Minnesota Vikings... Emmanuel Ogbah, DE

His last name looks like "bog" spoken by someone who doesn't 100% understand Pig Latin.



24 (55). Cincinnati Bengals... Austin Johnson, DL 

It never hurts, when you get into the business of drafting large men, to get one who is named after a city.



25 (56). Seattle Seahawks...  Johnathan Bullard, DT

DT is a job on the field where it is good to have it filled by someone with "Bull" in his name.



26 (57). Green Bay Packers... Jihad Ward, DL

You won't have to worry about Intensity when you draft someone named "Jihad."



27 (58). Pittsburgh Steelers... Karl Joseph, S

They could probably use a CB more, but they have an offense that can win shootouts.



28 (59). Kansas City Chiefs... Su'a Cravens, S/LB

He's a hybrid guy who might have a hybrid first name.



29 (60). New England Patriots... Scooby Wright, LB

White guy, believe it or not...



30 (61). New England Patriots (from Arizona Cardinals)... Hassan Ridgeway, DL

New England blew open a hole on the DL when Dominique Easley Hassan played with Malcolm Brown at Texas.



31 (62). Carolina Panthers... Kendall Fuller, CB

They sort of got their hands tied when they released their best CB.



32 (63). Denver Broncos.. Connor Cook, QB

I already hate him, so this pick seems natural.

Round 3

1 (64). Tennessee Titans... Vonn Bell, S

He should invent a fake first name and use "Vonn Bell" as a last name, sort of like Van Halen.


2 (65). Cleveland Browns... Derrick Henry, RB

If they aren't going to be able to throw it, they may as well prepare to run it a lot.


3 (66). San Diego Chargers... Artie Burns, CB

You never want to have a guy named Burns at CB, but you can probably get away with it in Southern California.


4 (67). Dallas Cowboys... Malcolm Mitchell, WR

They give Dez someone to hang around with.


5 (68). San Francisco 49ers... Shon Coleman, OT

As long as he doesn't retire after a year, he'll do better than some SF draft picks.


6 (69). Jacksonville Jaguars... Xavien Howard, CB

It never hurts for a team like Jacksonville to double up on CB.


7 (70). Baltimore Ravens... LeRaven Clark, OT

That's French for "the Raven." They, or he, should get a hometown discount for that.


8 (71). New York Giants... Keanu Neal, S

You don't have to kneel if you're Keanu, you just bend backwards really slow while the bullets miss you.


9 (72). Chicago Bears... Tyler Boyd, WR

Jay Cutler needs more guys to overthrow.


10 (73). Miami Dolphins... Miles Killebrew, S

He sounds look a good guy to hit a tavern with.


11 (74). Tampa Bay Buccaneers... Braxton Miller, WR

They actually have a couple of good WRs, but V-JAX is gettin' old.


12 (75). Oakland Raiders... TJ Green, S

Oakland gets themselves some Green.


13 (76). Tennessee Titans (from Los Angeles Rams)... Jordan Howard, RB

230 pounds of running-straight-forward.


14 (77). Cleveland Browns (from Philadelphia Eagles, Detroit Lions)... Dak Prescott, QB

How can Cleveland continue to be Cleveland? Hand the ball to some guy named "Dak."


15 (78). New Orleans Saints... Joshua Garnett, OG

He went to Stanford, so all of the Southern players will tease him mercilessly.


16 (79). Philadelphia Eagles... Justin Simmons, S

BC kid.


17 (80). Buffalo Bills... Carl Nassib, DE

He comes from a football family, hes 6'7", and he comes from a football family.


18 (81). Atlanta Falcons... Christian Westerman, OG

Keeping Matty Ice upright long enough to spot Julio Jones greatly increases the chances of success in Hotlanta.


19 (82). Indianapolis Colts... Joe Thuney, OL

I think some linebacker somewhere actually took Andrew Luck's spleen as a keepsake last year.


20 (83). New York Jets... Kyle Fackrell, LB

The Jets get themselves a Brady hunter.


21 (84). Washington Redskins... Charone Peake, WR

He can't catch a cold... but if he does catch one, he runs a 4.37.


22 (85). Houston Texans... Max Tuerk, C

They draft someone to hike it to Brock Osweiler.


23 (86). Minnesota Vikings... Jordan Jenkins, LB

Minnesota stocks up on another guy to eventually replace an older starter.


24 (87). Cincinnati Bengals... DJ White, CB

Pac Man Jones can't play forever.


25 (88). Green Bay Packers... Will Redmond, CB

Green Bay is going all-D so far...


26 (89). Pittsburgh Steelers... Sean Davis, CB

Pittsburgh should have addressed this position earlier, but they I got distracted.


27 (90). Seattle Seahawks... Jerald Hawkins, OT

The fact that Russell Wilson can run around does not mean that he should be running around.


28. Kansas City Chiefs (Forfeited)

Yeah, they lose a late third.


29 (91). New England Patriots...  Kolby Listenbee, WR

4.35 in the 40.


30 (92). Arizona Cardinals... Jack Allen, C

He's a regular Jack of all trades, wocka wocka wocka...


31 (93). Carolina Panthers... Willie Beavers, OT

HAS to be southern. Has to be. I'd be funny if he were somehow a Bronx Jew.


32 (94) Denver Broncos... Willie Henry, DT

A pair of Willie's go one after another.


33 (95). Detroit Lions (Compensatory Selection)... Darrell Greene, OL

Described as "a thick ball of power" in the scouting guide I read.


34 (96). New England Patriots (Compensatory Selection)... Spencer Drango, OL

Not giving a damn what Denver and Seattle do after this pick, we drop the mic and go get Chinese food.

Much love to our host, the Massachusetts Maritime Academy...

Southeastern Massachusetts High School Football Schedule And Selections, 9/25-9/26

The author is working on very little sleep, so double check the schedules with a second source before heading out...

Marshfield at Dennis-Yarmouth, 6 PM

Marshfield appears to be taking no shorts this autumn.

Vegas, 31-18


Coyle-Cassidy at Martha's Vineyard, 6:30 PM

Big storm could be offshore... C-Ceasickness and C-Cancellation are possibilities

MV, 13-10


Silver Lake at Whitman-Hanson, 7 PM

Silver Lake is fighting for win #1, but that may not be happening.

W-H, 36-21



Xaverian at Barnstable, 7 PM

Barney is off to a rough start, losing 61-6 or so last week to BC High. Xaverian is just what the doctor ordered. Unfortunately, it was Dr. Mengele.

Xaverian, 48-20


New Bedford at Bridgewater-Raynham, 7 PM

Both teams have Ls on their record, but they were all to impressive teams.

B-R, 21-20



Quincy vs. Plymouth North, 7 PM

Listed as "neutral site" on MaxPreps for some reason, perhaps because they're playing on a neutral site or something. If someone knows, hit me up in the comments.

PN, 20-14


Bishop Feehan at Falmouth, 7 PM

The schedule I'm using also has Bishop Feehan vs Falmouth Academy, I'm not sure if it's the same game or not. I usually use the Globe's schedule, but I've used up my free site visits this month, and, well, eff them. The Globe, not the kids.

Falmouth, 21-19


Scituate at Plymouth South, 7 PM

Two undefeated Plymouth teams colliding at Thanksgiving should be nationally televised.

PS, 28-17


Upper Cape Tech at Bourne, 7 PM

Sandwich Road isn't big enough for two high schools, which is why I think Bourne High is off Trowbridge Road, home of the fabulous Trowbridge Tavern. Boy, oh, boy, did I see Bourne get tuned up by Martha last Friday.... yikes.

Bourne, 28-27



Cardinal Spellman at Weston, 7 PM

Weston is nowhere near Easton, and that will cost them when I make up random scores for these games.

Spellman, 41-10


Hull at Cohasset, 7 PM

If this was a Hull home game, I'd go watch it if I thought there'd be some nice surf in the background for my photos. I'd climb up on top of the friggin' announcers' booth if I had to, don't you even question it.

Cohasset, 28-10



Seekonk at Dighton-Rehoboth, 7 PM

The school's in Dighton, I found out.... North Dighton, to be precise. I'm not sure what differences exist between Dighton and North Dighton, but one of them is a high school with a football field.

D-R, 14-13


Greater New Bedford vs Dartmouth

Because we love irony, we'll point out that Greater New Bedford is a much smaller school than regular New Bedford is.

Dartmouth, 20-7


Duxbury at Hingham, 7 PM

Duxbury lost to friggin' Hollister last Friday, and if you asked me ten days ago, I would have told you that Hollister was a type of sweatshirt that teenage girls wear.

Duxbury, 34-28


Case at Wareham, 7 PM

Case is in Swansea, in case you're curious. Whenever I write about Swansea, I inexplicably want a TV dinner after.

You don't step to the 'Ham on Friday... you just don't.

?ham, 21-20



North Quincy at Hanover, 7 PM

Hangover!

Hanover, 14-12



Old Rochester at Apponequet, 7 PM

Somebody has to win...

Apponequet, 17-13


Southeastern vs Bristol-Plymouth, 7 PM

If the right people ran Bristol-Plymouth, they'd reverse the order of the team name every time they lost. One week they're Bristol-Plymouth, one week they're Plymouth-Bristol.... OK, the idea sucks.

Southeastern, 14-10


Durfee at Fairhaven, 7 PM

Fairhaven's one win came in an 8-6 shootout.

Durfee, 20-19


Middleboro at Pembroke, 7 PM

I'm very stubborn about spelling "Middleboro" like that. The other way reads like you coughed it out or something. Max Preps has this also listed as a Saturday game, so plan more carefully.

Middleboro, 20-13


East Bridgewater at Rockland, 7 PM

Eastie has a couple of impressive wins, but they get a test with 30 Rock.

EB, 28-27


Bishop Stang at Somerset-Berkley, 7 PM

In honor of the Pope's visit, I'm ascribing superpowers to the Catholic schools.

Stank, 30-17



Blue Hills at Diman, 7 PM

I'm not sure- OK, I have no idea- how "Diman" is pronounced. I suppose it's sort of like "the man," as it would otherwise sound like "demon"... and we may be writing about a Catholic school here, player.

Blueberry Hills, 17-14



Catholic Memorial at Brockton, 7 PM

CM beat Hartford, but it was Hartford, Vermont. I think they may have also pinned Duxbury pretty badly in the preseason, too.

CM, 28-24


Sandwich at Nauset, 7 PM

They have a perfectly good mascot already (I think it's a Dolphin, not really sure), but "Nauset Nausea" would be a fine and intimidating team name. Some sort of Pop Warner or Cape League team should take that name, as long as they remember to cut the Idea Man in on the payoff. I've got needs, my friend...

Sandwich, 17-12



Carver at Mashpee, 7 PM

Tough call.

Mashpee, 20-19



SATURDAY

Tri-County vs Bishop Connolly-Westport, 7 TBD (sorry)

"Bishop Connolly-Westport" sounds like one of those Rodham-Clinton hyphenated married names, which is a funny name to see hanging off a Bishop.

BCW, 24-21


Old Colony Voke vs South Shore Tech, 11 AM

They're both actually Voke Techs, but I essentially split two aces. SSVT is in Hanover, if you're on the away team.

OC, 13-12


West Bridgewater at Sacred Heart (Kingston), 11 AM

The WB might get lost negotiating the Kingston boondocks. Otherwise, 3 TD rout.

WB, 28-7


Cape Cod Tech at Monomoy, 1 PM

I want to see what Monomoy''s helmet looks like just badly enough to not drive out there for a game. Maybe they play Bourne later, hopefully at home. If the right people were running Monomoy, they'd have a shark tank in one or both of the end zones. It's not like they don't have a thucking fousand of them out there or anything...

Monomoy, 31-13


Buckingham, Browne and Nichols at Tabor, 1 PM

I may be wrong on the Nicks part, but wasn't Buckingham, Browne and Nichols three quarters of Fleetwood Mac?

BBN, 30-19


Holbrook/Avon at Nantucket, 5 PM

Two on one! No fair!

Nanny, 38-10


Randolph at Abington, 6 PM

Abby is always rock solid.

Abington, 21-14


Marian-Keefe Tech vs St. John Paul II, 7 PM

Not sure where they're playing this.

STJP2, 21-10

Nauset Regional High School Hires Former NFL Coach

So, you've lost 12 of 12 Thanksgiving football games to your hated rival, Dennis-Yarmouth. You've had a field goal attempt knocked down by a seagull before... sure, it was just during practice, but c'mon.

You're pretty much the last football team in America before the Big Puddle... and after you cross that puddle, when they talk about football, they mean soccer. Your coach just quit to be the assistant principal. Due to your remote location, a 2 hour bus drive to some games isn't out of the question.

You play so far away from the city that your black players listen to The Cure and stuff. Maybe only Gloucester High has a better chance of having an important player miss a game because of a fishing injury. Actual actuaries actually have calculated that there is a .000000019% chance that one of your players will be eaten by a shark.

Your arch-rival D-Y is generally a very solid program. Nearby, you have Barnstable High, a perennial state powerhouse. You aren't too far from football factories like Duxbury, Brockton and Mansfield. Itty-bitty Upper Cape Tech has a Super Bowl championship. You don't.

What do you do to reverse that?

You hire a former NFL coach to run your high school team, of course.

Nauset Regional High School just hired Mike Sherman to coach the football team. Mike is the former coach of the Green Bay Packers, and of Texas A&M. Two of Mike's QBs were Brett Favre and Johnny Manziel (who he recruited, but never coached). He also brought us Von Miller, Ryan Tannehill, Johnathan Ogden and several other pros. He coached with UCLA, Pitt, Tulane, the Houston Texans and the Miami Dolphins.

His last game as head coach was in front of 90,000 people. That's everyone in Eastham, times 25. As opposed to playing at iconic Lambeau Field, Sherman will now work at Nauset, which is the only team in America located in a national park. It's also one of the few schools where the teachers all pause mid-lecture because a lighthouse foghorn is going off.

The Green Bay Packers have as many Super Bowls as any franchise. Sherman has their second best winning % ever, trailing only... oh, Vince Lombardi. Pro and college teams can't hire him quickly enough.

How does Nauset get him?

Simple. Cape Cod and the Islands are where football coaches go to get away from it all. Patriots coaching legend Bill Belichick has a place on Nantucket. Cleveland/Jets coach Eric Mangini had and might still have a place in Brewster. Mike Sherman has a place in Dennis. John Hannah and Mosi Tatupu coached high schools in the EMass area. While he doesn't coach, Bob Kraft has a house in Mashpee that no one is allowed by law to harvest oysters around. He might get bored in retirement some day, and decide to tinker with the local high school team.

I think that, after a season or even a career cooped up in film rooms and practice bubbles, coaches only feel free at the beach... so they head off to Cape Cod. All that open space, the limitless sea spreading out before them... yeah, I can see how it works.

In this particular case, Sherman and Mrs. Sherman had tired of moving constantly after new jobs, and wished to retire. They had been vacationing on the Cape for decades (he's a Northboro/Northborough native), so they settled in Dennis. Coaches tend to be Type A, so a few months of striper fishing soon wasn't enough action for MS. He had that itch to get back on the sidelines, working.

There may also be a bit of charm to the prospect of not coaching millionaires. There will be no mistake at all made about knowing who the Boss is at NRHS. Brett Favre is 1000 miles away. As a former small-school high school coach, I can tell you that he may even end up having to buy the team Burger King out of his own pocket if they get a big win.

Nauset Regional High School had been taking a football beating for many moons. They brought in a new coach- Keith "Grand" Kenyon- who installed a single-wing offense similar to what Knute Rockne used to run. They made the playoffs a couple of times, but they did nothing that would let them laugh off the chance to hire a legitimate NFL head coach. Sherman plans to run a modern, pro-style spread offense, btw.

A good coach can make all the difference at the high school level. Duxbury was a soccer town before they hired a prominent assistant from the dynastic Everett High School program. They have enjoyed great success ever since. As nice as Everett and Duxbury are, they can't hold a candle to the Green Bay Packers.

So, as well as Duxbury's coach has done, I think the Green Dragons may need an upgrade. Duxbury is a rich town with a couple of Aerosmith offspring in the high school, they should be able to scratch up enough paper to hire Coach Saban away from Alabama. While we're at it, we should get Werner Herzog to direct our school plays... if he's not dead, of course.

Of course, I live in Bourne these days. We lack Duxbury's bank power, and I have no idea how we'd attract a pro coach to our little high school. Maybe we have to make it like High Plains Drifter, where the coach gets "a free hand in this town." Shoot, we might have to give him a virgin a month.

We'll see how Sherman does against local coaching. Sure, he has that fancy NFL pedigree, but I'm pretty sure that the local Pop Warner system isn't going to hand him the next Brett Favre. In the end, once you shake off all the bells and whistles, you're basically handing a ball to some kid, pointing him towards the goal line and daring the 11 guys on the other team to stop him.

We've suggested having a Cape school hire a pro coach living here as a snowbird before, when Eric Mangini became available. We just didn't think anyone would take us seriously.

Now, Nauset is changing the game. How will the other towns adjust?