.We still have a pile of Halloween stuff to go through, so I'll just create some lyrics as we go along.
I have to bang this out by 3 or so, or it will be a midnight publication. We're busy bees today, as anyone with a 9 year old would understand.
I probably have enough material for 2-3 more articles, so don't be despondent if I missed your house.
One of my favorite time-killing reads are conspiracy theories. Several of them are based in Horror.
There is supposed to be a lost episode of The Simpsons where Bart is killed. He gets sucked out of a plane, it's actually a rather sad episode.
The strange part is at the end. As the Simpsons (who, for some reason, seem to have abandoned the baby character) visit Bart's grave, they walk past other tombstones in the cemetery. They are all the stones of people who have appeared on The Simpsons.
Each stone bears a date of death. For someone deceased like Michael Jackson or Phil Hartman or whoever, the date is exact. The really spooky part is the stones of everyone who is still living. They are ascribed a date of death in the future.
It's all the same date.
My other favorite conspiracy with Horror and Entertainment involves Stanley Kubrick and The Shining.
I was previously unaware of this, but we didn't actually land on the moon. For many years and perhaps even now, we have actually been defenseless against Soviet ICBMs. What I thought was our best defense- our ability to respond in kind- is actually a myth.
You need rocket science to get those missiles flying, and we don't have people who can do that.
When Sputnik hit the air, the Soviets seized a Cold War lead that we couldn't match until we could do the same. We were unable to for many years.
What we can do well in America is make kick-ass movies. More than one war has been won through Bluff, why not this one?
Stanley Kubrick, who had just filmed a groundbreaking space movie, was recruited by the US government to fake a moon landing. Such an accomplishment would make the Russians sweat Fear, and would scare them from even thinking of launching on us.
Kubrick did the job, but guilt set in. Then, a brilliant director decided to dabble in the gutter of Hollywood.... Horror.
If you watch The Shining, you'll see a lot of things that could be read as Apollo 11 references. Other than the kid's sweater, not a lot of them make sense to me. You, however, may be more open-minded.
If so... enjoy.
Top Unsolved Murders In Massachusetts
1) The Molly Bish murder
A teen lifeguard disappears from a lake. The search goes on forever, but they eventually find her body. Her killer is nevr brought to justice.... at least not by Massachusetts authorities, because I think that the suspect from the drawing may have been hung in Iraq.
2) The New Bedford Highway Killer
In the 1980s, a series of junkies and prostitutes disappeared from the New Bedford/Fall River area. Many of them were found along Route 195 and other local drags. They looked at a slew of suspects- including a lawyer, a guy who liked to rough up whores, and even the Lisbon Ripper- but no one was ever convicted for it. Although the crimes have stopped, the suspect may still be at large.
3) The Lady Of The Dunes
A mutilated corpse was found laying among the Provincetown dunes. She was nearly decapitated. They never found out who she was, or who killed her. Whitey Bulger was a suspect, but this was a rare case where Whitey was exonerated because the crime was too brutal.
I work with a girl named Stacey. She's really short. Her husband isn't.
One Halloween, Stacey went out with the kids. She threw on a Patriots sweater because it was cold. She's a foot and a half shorter than her husband, she has a doctorate, and she's in her 30s.
Unless she's fibbing... whenever they would trick-or-treat elderly people, Stacey's two kids would get candy and praise. At some houses, the homeowner would then look Stacey over once or twice, adjust her glasses, look at the husband, make a calculation.... and then reach into the bucket and fork over a Snickers to Dr. Monponsett. "Aren't you just a pretty little Patriot??"
"I was very offended at first," said Stacey, "But as the night went on, I ended up with a fat stash of candy. My husband laughed every time it happened, but he wasn't laughing when I refused to give him any Twix bars. F*** him."
Every picture in this aticle is from one house, which I believe is in Whitman.
We took a lot of pictures. I should remember what town that the best house was in, but I don't. I actually met the lady, too. She was very cool.
Either way, she's leading the tournament right now, although I have a ringer lined up on Washington Street in Duxbury.
We have a pile of shots to go, and we'll add to them tonight when we go hunting and gathering.
We'll have either a late-night update or a Sunday edition, unless football gets in the way.
Feel free to check out our other Halloween Display articles: