Saturday, March 11, 2017

The Chase Wild Animal Farm Mystery

Bill Chase is on the right.... we lifted this pic from the Circus No Spin Zone website

Halifax is a quiet little town off of Route 106 in the rural center of Plymouth County in Massachusetts. While it doesn't qualify as "the middle of nowhere" since the commuter rail hit it, Halifax is still a place where nothing happens. I don't mind saying this, because I'm a former resident of Halifax, and I know that locals like it when nothing happens there.

Halifax is largely residential today, but there was a time when it was a resort spot. The railroad lines that ran into town brought people from the teeming cities of the No Widespread Air Conditioning era. They were thrilled to spend a summer in a cabin, enjoying the many benefits of Silver Lake and (pre-algal blooms) Monponsett Lakes. Cars and highways brought day trippers.

Businesses in town were built to suit the needs of these cash-carrying tourists. Since the land was cheap, a businessman could afford to think Big. A man named Bill Chase got into the import/export business, and his stock in trade was wild animal hunting/exhibiting/selling. Most of us don't know anyone who could get us an elephant... but if you knew Bill Chase, you knew someone who could get you an elephant. You also missed your chance, as he died in the 1980s.

He had some gig, which I'm betting is quasi-illegal now, where he would capture animals in Africa, store them at his western Africa depot, and then ship them to zoos and reservations and whoever else orders things like Leopards. He also was in on some animal storage thing in Florida, which is most likely where his Wild Animal Farm animals spent their winters.

What wild animal farm, you ask? Why, I'm talking about the Chase Wild Animal Farm that used to be in Halifax, Massachusetts. In 1955, Chase moved his Chase Wild Animals Farm (which, due to his unfortunate last name, implies that you get to hunt the wild animals) from Egypt/Scituate Massachusetts to Halifax, Massachusetts.

The farm (part of the Chase Enterprises, Inc. empire) had permits allowing them to keep the animals in their "natural habitat," which is sort of funny because no part of Africa, let alone the parts with the cheetahs and hyenas running around, has Halifax's climate. They had a veritable Wild Kingdom happening off of Route 106, about where the Country Club is today.

Residents of the park included elephants, cheetahs, anteaters, leopards, zebra, llamas, various exotic birds and God knows what else. Admission was 50 cents for adults, and 25 cents "for moppets."

They used the Zebra as the mascot for the farm, and cardboard zebras were placed on highways to make sure that tourists didn't sleep on the Dark Continent happening in Halifax. They had free advertising from an animal-themed Boston TV show, sponsored by a Chase-friendly dog food manufacturer. They had a promotional deal with a local soda company. They opened themselves up to churches, schools and youth groups, making sure every kid left with a free (advertising) bumper sticker.

You could work a pretty good 1950s vacation in these parts. When you weren't splashing around in one of the Monponsett Lakes, you could go see a leopard at Chase's, then go to Edaville Railroad some other day, take the kids to Duxbury to see an ocean the next day, check out the Pilgrim stuff in Plymouth on another day, then finish off the week (and your paycheck) at Lincoln Park in Dartmouth.

This was pre-Internet, and not far from an era where kids rolled a hoop down the street for fun. It is very far removed from my own style of vacationing, which generally involves places where I can't be extradited from, coca and a bevy of gringo-friendly prostitutes. We're getting away from the point, however... and if the kids weren't happy seeing a leopard and going to Lincoln Park, you could always send them off to Vietnam or- if what I saw on Happy Days was customary- have the Fonz slap some sense into them.

I moved to Hally in 2000, and dudes were hitting 200 yard drives off the tee where CWAF was by the time I showed up. CWAF was unprominent (we make up our own words sometimes, and patent the really catchy ones) enough that I can't find out when it closed on the Internet. I could probably find out if I went to the town's historical society person, but I'm not going to Halifax from Cape Cod until I'm sure that I have a pretty good chance at getting a hippo skull (more on that later). I also have to convince Jessica to go, and the last time she and I went exploring in an old park, we were nearly arrested for breaking into Edaville Railroad. That is a story for another day, however...

I do know that Chase was still looking for Rhesus Monkeys in 1957, so the park lasted at least that long. They ran a nine month season, closing after their big Yule Festival promotion that had Santa with real actual reindeer. I'm sure that elephants and toucans love Massachusetts in late December.


A guy on Facebook said it ran through the 1960s, and it was his post (taken from a forum on cougars in Massachusetts) that got my imagination working. Several locals have told me a similar version of the story. I didn't canvas the town or anything, but no one I chatted with about the farm who actually had lived there when it was operating hadn't been told some version of this story.

If I may cut and paste some....

"I grew up in Halifax, in the fifties and sixties. There was a wild animal farm there called the "Chase Wild Animal Farm" It's now the Halifax Country Club Golf Course. It was one of those walk-thru zoos in the forest,where the animals were barely restrained, and was finally shut down. 

The owner, a man name of Bob Belinda, released all the animals into the swamp, including big cats, birds, everything, before he was run out. Even elephants, alligators, monkeys, lions were in the swamps for years, and some undoubtedly cross-bred with local animals. 

After that time, we saw weird-looking birds like vultures, there were even yellow canaries that would attack other birds in swarms, and huge cats lived in the area after that. My father shot one huge cat by our barn, that was larger than a bobcat. We used to hear wild screams from the swamp in the summer, and Gawd knows what types of inbreeding went on. 

We had horses, goats and sheep that had to be watched closely becuse of the wild dog packs, and some of those that we killed resembled Hyenas. 

This can all be verified at the Halifax Town Hall. This is the area about a mile behind the King Supermarket on Plymouth street. You can start your own "Monsterquest," for real."

Nowwwww, we have something we can work with.

You and I both know that is nonsense. Let us count the ways.

A guy who sells wild animals has very little to gain from releasing them into the swamps of Massachusetts. Even if he chose to do so (see: Zanesville, Ohio), it would have made headlines very quickly. An elephant rampaging through Plympton would be one thing, but it would get ugly with the quickness if the liberated leopard started picking off Kingston schoolchildren.

Please understand that Logic only gets in the way of a good urban legend, even out in the sticks.

If they did escape unnoticed somehow, some animals would have a better chance of surviving than others. The tropical birds would be hurtin' for certain. The cheetah once roamed North America, but I'm not sure if Massachusetts was part of that range. Asiatic Cheetahs are capable of growing a winter coat. Amur leopards range into Siberia. Hannibal once took 38 elephants over the Alps to invade Rome, possibly passing within sight of the Matterhorn, and got a few of them across.

Still, every animal in the park would face long odds in a Massachusetts winter.

picture from Christine Murray Pearl

I have no idea how these species would interbreed with native fauna. The only thing I can see an elephant being able to shag around here would be a Jeep. A domestic cat would explode if a leopard entered her. Our local seagull population would be cooler if they interbred with escaped Macaws, but something like that would have been noticed as soon as they started opening McDonald's around here.

Perhaps an alligator could be responsible for the hybrid car-sized turtle said to haunt Great Herring Pond in Plymouth, but the killer mutant canaries story sounds eerily like the plot of that Sylvester/Tweety episode where Tweety gets into the steroids and swells up like 10000%, to the extent that he is then able to hunt Sylvester.

However, some "proof" does exist if you insist on pursuing the mass-release story. Where I'm headed with this is the Bridgewater Triangle theory.

The Bridgewater Triangle is a term used to describe an area of heightened spooky/paranormal activity. It runs from Rehoboth to Abington back to Freetown, although you could make great arguments for including some of the surrounding areas.

You name it, someone has seen it in the Triangle. UFOs? Check. Bigfoot? Twice spotted, once eating a pumpkin. Thunderbirds? Yup. Anaconda-sized snakes? You know they have it.

A man who knows the basic Bridgewater Triangle legends can turn his imagination towards matching Triangle monsters to things that might have been released (or escaped- they say that Chase favored a barely restrained style of animal husbandry) from the Chase Wild Animal Farm in Halifax. This is especially true if it happens during a slow news week.

The Beast of Truro? Perhaps this is what became of the Halifax leopard. I do wonder if Chase would bother to report a cheetah escape, or- if it killed someone- he'd just be like "Oh well, it must have belonged to someone else around here who frequently purchases leopards." The Pamet Puma, described by witnesses as a Big Cat style big cat, made no appearances after 1982.

That alligator corpse in Westport recently? Could it be a sewer-living offspring of a Chase gator? No. We've discussed alligators up north before, it never ends well for the Gator.  The Silver Lake Frogman could have been someone getting a fast glimpse at an alligator, but it could not have been, too.

Daniel Webster's Sea Monster, spotted off Duxbury? OK, too early. The same goes for the Cape Ann sea serpent, and we should mention here that Chase did not have any plesiosaurs or however they spell that.

Pukwudgies? Too early, the Wampanoags had lore of them. The Dover Demon? That could easily be escaped Rhesus monkeys, who would most likely have had the best chance of escaping Chase's farm.

Bigfoot sightings in Bridgewater? Could it have been someone mistaking a llama? Even if your answer is no, you simply have to grade that possibility far above "a Yeti wandered into a Massachusetts college town." Chase procuring and losing a bear without Google knowing 60 years later is also a possibility.

Giant snakes menacing workers in Hockomock Swamp? I bet there was a very short list of "people who might import an Anaconda into the greater Halifax area," and Chase was probably on the top of it. While the Hockomock snake story goes back to the Great Depression, Chase was in business in Scituate at the time, and your guess would be as good as mine as to "where in Massachusetts to get rid of an unwanted Reticulated Python."

Those monster stories are best left to the Monster Hunters. There's one grotesque part of the Chase legend that fascinates me, and that may finally move me into a trip back to my old Halifax stomping grounds.

An ugly story followed Chase around, both in Halifax and in his prior Scituate digs. When his animals died, he was rumored to have buried them on-site. According to local legend, the remains of a giraffe are buried in Scituate. Halifax, where I intend to prowl around some, is said to be the final resting place of a hippo.

It makes sense in a pre-EPA way. Let's say that your elephant moves on to the Final Answer. It's not like you're going to ship him back to Africa for burial. I doubt that any animal cemetery in the region could accommodate one. Much like when you have to kill someone, you go find an isolated spot out in a forbidding swamp and dig a hole wide enough and deep enough. While an elephant funeral would most likely be a great media event, it would raise ugly questions with the local officials... who might be understandably leery of the guy who keeps free-ranging cheetahs in town.

You can see where my man might want to do his dirt by his lonesome, on the D Low.

It is for God to judge him, and- seeing as he died in the 1980s- that probably has already happened. All I care about is where to dig for that Hippo skull.

Most of the time, we write about foliage and snowstorms and local matters, but this column does piss someone off now and then, and they sometimes are able to deduce my identity and thus my home address. This leads to animated discussions and sometimes even the presence of Johnny Law.

Now, I'm not a small man, and I like a good slobberknocker as much as the next guy does... but, if I can avoid conflict because my stalker foes are intimidated by the giant and ghastly Hippo skull that I have nailed to the front gable of my cottage, that counts as a win.


Wednesday, March 8, 2017

Three Chances At Snow In The Next Week


You may have been fooled by that Strawberry Spring we had this month, but Cranberry County Magazine wasn't fooled. It takes a good man to fool Cranberry County Magazine... it just doesn't take him very long.

As it turns out, we have not one not two but THREE shots at some Siberian Marching Powder in the next 7 days.

Friday looks like the best bet. 1-3" are forecast to fall on us. Friday morning looks to be the time for that one, although- as we always say in this business- a slight wobble in the track could mean rain, no precipitation at all, or even 3-6". Freezing cold air moves in behind this storm for the weekend, so get the shovel work done early, lest you be chopping at ice on Saturday.

Sunday Night/Monday Morning has a lower floor and a much higher ceiling. The floor, made more likely by the length of time between Now and Then, could be a non-event. The ceiling would be a powerful nor'easter with heavy snow. Yup, I just gave you a forecast of "nothing or two feet." If you want odds, go with the non-event, as it is the more likely scenario. Just remember that we also told you about the ceiling.

Monday Night/Tuesday Morning is a storm which (currently) is forecast to move along a more northerly track than the fellow we're watching for Sunday night, and is more of a bet to put some powder on us. Accuweather, which is very conservative, is giving Bourne, MA three inches of snow for this one.

Please remember that these events are not set in stone. They could be better or worse than I am telling you. You want to check the forecasts frequently during the upcoming week, as it is constantly evolving and has the chance to mess up your commute.

We'll be back with an update.




Saturday, March 4, 2017

The Rise, Fall and Rebirth Of The Hanover Mall


A local icon is about to get a major face lift in an attempt to Get Modern.

The Hanover Mall was sold recently (to PECO Real Estate Partners, for $39.5 million), and the new owners came out this week and debuted their plans for the Route 3 landmark.

The plans are radical. it involves the Hanover Mall becoming a sort of outdoor mall, along the lines of Shops At The 5 in Plymouth or even- keeping it Plymouth- the Colony Place mall with the Wal-Mart. Rather than enter one big building with all the shop entrances inside the mall, you can pull up to whatever store you want to go to.

Malls, aka large scale public shopping centers, have been around at least as long as Rome, and actually predate Rome if you're willing to break out the dictionary and argue Semantics for a while. Trajan's Market in Rome is the first one with a name I can find, but Istanbul, Damascus, Tehran, Oxford, Paris and St. Petersburg have malls that are older than America. Timbuktu, technically a city, was essentially a mall that was fortunate enough to have culture spring up around it.

America mastered the mall, and we were/are the catalyst behind the advent of the modern mall. America is big, and we spread ourselves further out than European or Middle Eastern people do. This led to us getting into cars and highways and- most importantly- Suburbia.

Notice that all of the old malls that I named are based in cities. For much of history, people would take their goods into the cities, where the large numbers of people gave them the largest market possible for those goods. Cars, trains and highways allowed Americans to flee the teeming industrial cities, and they didn't want to have to trek back into the Metropolis every time they needed a vacuum cleaner or a manicure.

In the same vein, the low population density of a suburb means that you can't set up a vacuum store in town and sell enough of them to earn a living. Americans also need a great variety of stuff, and there is only so much room on Main Street. You can't fit every sort of store that someone needs in one town.

Keep in mind, this is pre-Internet. If you need a part for your wood stove and it's 1972, you can't just order it online. You can't even Google up a location for the Wood Stove Parts store a few towns over from you. That's just how it was back then. "The Internet must have sucked in the 1920s," as one of my students once said.

The solution? Build an airport-sized building, and fill it with every sort of shop that a person could want. Space these buildings out, maybe one or three per county. Soon enough, rather than trekking town to town in search of an obscure product that you need, you can walk through a mall full of more stuff than you could possibly even take a crack at buying in an average life span. Walk through your local mall today, and you'll probably see several dozen stores that you will never set foot in. "This place has got everything," as Joliet Jake once said.

Laws opening up land for development and tax dodges where real estate investment trusts could avoid corporate income taxes spurred mall growth. Retail Stores dominated America. The enclosed suburban mall style (like Hanover) came about in the 1950s. By 2015, there was 48 square feet of retail space for every American.

Malls are deeply ingrained in American culture. While I lack the fashion knowledge, several girls in Duxbury that I knew in high school could tell where someone was from by a formula of A (what they're wearing) = B (which mall had an Old Navy or whatever), which = C (the kid must be from the region which had that mall), so A = C.

Every kid in every 1980s movie who wasn't babysitting or selling drugs  worked in a mall. I think that all of the non-Spicoli kids from Fast Times At Ridgemont High worked in a mall. The best car chase in The Blues Brothers went through a mall.


The Hanover Mall has stood in place since 1971, and was the only mall in the region until they put the Independence Mall (now known by the newly redesigned and ridiculous Kingston Collection moniker). If you commute to Boston up Route 3 from anywhere south of Exit 13, you look at the Hanover Mall twice a day.

Any kid from the 1980s Irish Riviera who was too far from the South Shore Plaza didn't have many mall choices. Hanover was your mall. It's where you did your school shopping, where the cinema was, where to try to get girls before you figured out Beer... it was where you could buy jeans and have a pretzel while someone was fixing your brakes. If you couldn't knock off your Christmas shopping in one trip there, you weren't trying hard.

Still, as the child of the 80s grew up, he saw the Decline setting in. I can recall being very angry when the York Steak House left (one YSH remains in America, and it's in Ohio), I still miss Friendly's and Brigham's, I disagreed with the closing of Zayre's and a big part of me thinks that the mall people deserved what they got when they uprooted the fountain.

The Hanover Mall never really died, and the tail still wags. They just became marginalized. It's funny, because it is straddled by wealthy towns like Duxbury and Cohasset, but here's what did in the Hanover Mall that you know and love. Keep in mind,the guy doing all this urban planning talk peaked in life as a Sportswriter, and has very little experience planning malls and analyzing market trends.

1) They were slow to adapt to the Food Court idea. When the Independence Mall opened and you could get Taco Bell in these parts, it was very bad for Hanover when the best non-Brigham's meal you could get in their mall was an Orange Julius. Much like a house with shag carpeting, the Hanover Mall had a very 1970s look during an era of rapid Mall Change.

2) The Independence Mall came when the Hanover Mall was getting complacent. Hanover was the only dog in town for a while, and when the Kingston mall opened, people had shopped themselves out at Hanover's long-term offerings. "Let's go to Hobbytown again!"

3) Hanover had a highway project going right off Route 3's exit that took 35 years or so to complete, and the left turn towards the mall for someone coming up from Plymouth was a death wish.

4) We're getting into Square Footage talk that I'm not really smooth enough to discuss, but Hanover was very poorly equipped to accommodate the big Box Stores that came into vogue after Hanover was constructed.

5) Wal-Mart kills everything else, why not the Hanover Mall? You can carry a dozen shopping bags full of goods through 40 stores like a homeless person at a mall, or you can get all of that stuff in shoddy, Made-in-Chine mode and run it through the register all at once in a Wally.

6) The Hanover Mall eventually went into business with the devil and gave Wal-Mart a corner office, but it's one of those weak Wallys without the supermarket. More modern malls are built to accommodate free-standing Super Wal-Marts.

7) Hanover finally went for a food court, but they did so when Kingston was kicking their ass. The food court was never profitable, and they ended up putting an Old Navy there instead.

8) We had a backbreaking recession kick in by 2008, and there was trouble with gas inflation long before that. Those things bring about the Want/Need question among belt-tightening people.

9) The Internet slit a lot of Mall throats. Why wander through gangs of teenagers when you could instead just order stuff online? While a mall has great variety, the Internet has more stuff.

10) Hanover is set in a wealthy area of the South Shore, and those towns tend to trend Elderly. Old people buy less stuff, and towns with lots of elderly are bad places to open up a Hot Topic in.

11) The growth of Southern Plymouth (and the explosion of shopping options south of the Independence Mall) both drew away customers and illustrated the new open-mall game plan that Hanover would either adopt or perish before.

12) Malls in general went into decline. Malls were still being built in the 1990s, but a marked decline was present by the turn of the century. The fight-or-flight period for many struggling malls went down during the Great Recession.

13) Store owners balked at the high cost of heating the common areas in an indoor mall.


Hanover is now rolling the dice on the outdoor mall approach. This will be a sort of retail cul-de-sac formation, based around several box stores.

They'll pour millions of dollars into it, snarl up the traffic some, and a whole new entity will emerge in the following years. It will be a major economic base in the central South Shore, and it will employ or supply many of her residents.

We'll miss the old Hanover Mall, but progress is inexorable, Several "dead" malls (Hanover, which is still somewhat vibrant, qualifies as a "dead" mall among mall-labeling people because it is seen to be underperforming) have been restored to their former glory through just this sort of bulldozing, and Hanover is in a prime commercial region.

Even the guy who paid $39 million for the Hanover mall described it as a "B+" 1970s mall that "started to diminish." I doubt that's what he has in mind as an end goal, so we should end up with a pretty cool mall sitting in a prime location just off the highway.

Only time will tell us what ends up in there. He could change his mind and fill it with low-income housing, for all that I know. For now, we're looking at a bulldozing and rebuilding project, and a brand new, redesigned Hanover Mall that will confuse elderly people for a generation.

Construction is set to kick off at the end of 2017, so prepare yourselves. We'll be back with an update as they get closer to Bulldozer Time.



Sunday, February 26, 2017

Sunday Drive Gas Prices For South Shore, Plymouth County


The life experiences of staff motivate much of what turns up in this column. That is the case today, as the void left by the end of Football Season has fully asserted itself and it is not unusual for your author to take to the streets.

That costs money, because to get gasoline you must have dead organisms (mostly plant life, but yes, dinosaurs too) get buried under layers of stone and dirt, have it heated and pressurized by the functions of the Earth, wait 10 million years, have a bunch of PLO looking dudes move in over it, have someone figure out that you can burn this stuff in a manner that heats homes and powers machinery, subjugate the PLO guys, extract, refine, ship and distribute it.

It takes a lot of time and money to do all of that, so don't be too unhappy if gas costs $2 and change a gallon. It beats walking to Boston. That said, a reasonable person doesn't want to pay more than necessary to drive the beater around.

We're here to help you with that. We check with the Massachusetts Gas Prices website, set the search engine there for "last 36 hours," and tell you the best and worst listed prices in town. After that, it's on you to decide if it is worth driving to Whitman from where you live to save 25 cents a gallon.

A few notes on our methodology:

Gas prices can change at the drop of a hat. I pumped gas for a few years (I was never happier at a job, to be honest), and we usually changed over on Friday, before the weekend commute. There was a great deal of gouge-the-tourist behind this, but it is also when most people are getting their paychecks and filling their tanks.

We'd write this column on Friday night, but these gas price websites are user-driven, and it takes a while for the info to trickle in. Sunday is a good driving day (see intro), and with no tourists at this time of year, many/most stations don't lower the prices on Monday to favor the locals.

Note that, in this political climate, gas prices could suddenly spike. An oil company executive is our Secretary of State, and a simple "Those damned Iranians need to die 100,000 at a time. Pathetic!" social media message from the wrong orange-tinted president could double gas prices overnight.

If you see a lower/higher price in town that we didn't list, use our comments feature below to correct us. If there is more than one Shell in your town, it's on you to drive enough to find the cheap one.

Mobil has the worst price in 10 of 20 towns that had both a high and low price reported. They also had the worst price on the South Shore, a Gimme The Loot price of $2.69 at the Norwell Mobil.

National Average Gas Price: $2.228

Massachusetts Average Gas Price; $2.259

Price per barrel, crude oil: $53.57

Best Price in this article: $2.05, Prime Energy and Diamond Fuel in Whitman

Worst Price: $2.69, Mobil in Norwell.


GAS PRICES BY TOWN

Plymouth
Best: $2.11, BJs
Worst: $2.49, Gulf

Carver
Best: $2.13, at both Eagle Gas and Geko
Worst: $2.15, Mobil

Middleboro
Best: $2.06, Petro Max
Worst: $2.23, Mobil

Lakeville
Best: $2.13, Shell
Worst: $2.15, Mobil

Bridgewater (East, West and Everything Else)
Best: $2.10, Tri Town
Worst: $2.46, Mobil

Halifax
Best: $2.16 Cumby's
Worst: $2.27, Mobil

Plympton
Best: $2.15, Plympton Gas and Convenience

Kingston
Best: $2.15, Super Petroleum
Worst: $2.25, Gulf

Duxbury
Best: $2.29, Bennet's
Worst: $2.35, Gulf

Marshfield
Best: $2.14, Public Petroleum
Worst: $2.27, Shell

Scituate
No Prices Reported

Pembroke
Best: $2.18, Cumby's
Worst: $2.39, Mobil(s)

Hanson
Best: $2.13, at both Cumby's and Speedway
Worst: $2.35. Main Street Auto

Brockton
Best: $2.06, Montello's Express gas
Worst: $2.29, Sunny's Auto Care

Whitman
Best: $2.05, at both Prime Energy and Diamond Fuel
Worst: $2.09, at both Whitman Gas and Stop & Shop

Abington
Best: $2.07 Route 18 Superstore
Worst: $2.19, Abington Gas and Auto Repair

Rockland
Best: $2.15, at both Mutual and Steve's Auto Service
Worst: $2.25, BP

Hanover
Best: $2.13, Super Petroleum
Worst: $2.29, Sunoco

Norwell
Best: $2.47, 7-11
Worst: $2.69, Mobil

Cohasset
Best: $2.29, Stop & Shop
Worst: $2.31, Mobil

Hingham
Best: $2.17, Mobil
Worst: $2.39, Gulf

Hull
No prices reported

Weymouth
Best: $2.17, at both the Towne Pump (hey nowwwww) and Super Petroleum
Worst: $2.49, Mobil

Quincy
Best: $2.15, Super Petroleum
Worst: $2.47, Mobil

Be sure to check our Cape Cod and South Coast versions of this very same article.


Sunday Drive Gas Prices for Bristol County


The life experiences of staff motivate much of what turns up in this column. That is the case today, as the void left by the end of Football Season has fully asserted itself and it is not unusual for your author to take to the streets.

That costs money, because to get gasoline you must have dead organisms (mostly plant life, but yes, dinosaurs too) get buried under layers of stone and dirt, have it heated and pressurized by the functions of the Earth, wait 10 million years, have a bunch of PLO looking dudes move in over it, have someone figure out that you can burn this stuff in a manner that heats homes and powers machinery, subjugate the PLO guys, extract, refine, ship and distribute it.

It takes a lot of time and money to do all of that, so don't be too unhappy if gas costs $2 and change a gallon. It beats walking to Boston. That said, a reasonable person doesn't want to pay more than necessary to drive the beater around.

We're here to help you with that. We check with the Massachusetts Gas Prices website, set the search engine there for "last 36 hours," and tell you the best and worst listed prices in town. After that, it's on you to decide if it is worth driving to Seekonk from where you live to save 25 cents a gallon.

A few notes on our methodology:

Gas prices can change at the drop of a hat. I pumped gas for a few years (I was never happier at a job, to be honest), and we usually changed over on Friday, before the weekend commute. There was a great deal of gouge-the-tourist behind this, but it is also when most people are getting their paychecks and filling their tanks.

We'd write this column on Friday night, but these gas price websites are user-driven, and it takes a while for the info to trickle in. Sunday is a good driving day (see intro), and with no tourists at this time of year, many/most stations don't lower the prices on Monday to favor the locals.

Note that, in this political climate, gas prices could suddenly spike. An oil company executive is our Secretary of State, and a simple "Those damned Iranians need to die 100,000 at a time. Pathetic!" social media message from the wrong orange-tinted president could double gas prices overnight.

We go to "prices reported in last 48 hours" if we need data, we'll try to remember to tell you when we do.

If you see a lower/higher price in town that we didn't list, use our comments feature below to correct us. That's why we list towns when we have no prices for them, in hopes that you- yes, YOU- intervene.

If there is more than one Shell in your town, it's on you to drive enough to find the cheap one.

National Average Gas Price: $2.228

Massachusetts Average Gas Price; $2.259

Price per barrel, crude oil: $53.57


GAS PRICES BY TOWN

Wareham
$2.23, Mobil

Marion
No Prices reported

Rochester
No prices reported

Mattaspoisett
$2.29, Mobil

Acushnet
No prices reported

Fairhaven
Best:  $2.17, Valero
Worst: $2.26. 7-11

New Bedford
Best: $2.09, Stop & Save
Worst: $2.39, One Stop Gas

Dartmouth
Best: $2.09, BJ's
Worst: $2.39, Shell

Westport
Best: $2.14, Supreme Gas
Worst: $2.23, Mobil

Freetown
No Prices Reported

Fall River
Best: $2.07, Supreme Gas
Worst: $2.47, JC Gas

Somerset
Best: $2.19, Stop & Shop
Worst: $2.24, Wilbur Gas

Swansea
Best: $2.17, Mobil
Worst: $2.19, Sunoco

Seekonk:
Best: $2.03, Stop & Shop, BJ's, Crossroads Convenience (top 20 range for prices in Massachusetts)
Worst: $2.29, Shell

Rehoboth
Best: $2.09, Exxon
Worst: $2.13, Cumby's

Dighton
No prices listed

Berkley
No prices listed

Attleboro
 Best: $2.09, NJM
Worst: $2.15, Cumby's

Taunton
Best: $2.09, Geko (but while you pump the gas, a tiny lizard nags you about your car insurance)
Worst: $2.39, Mobil

Norton
Best: $2.13, Speedway
Worst: $2.20. Mas Gas

We'll have pages for Cape Cod and the South Shore up soon enough, perhaps even by the time you read this...


Sunday Drive Gas Prices, Cape Cod


The life experiences of staff motivate much of what turns up in this column. That is the case today, as the void left by the end of Football Season has fully asserted itself and it is not unusual for your author to take to the streets.

That costs money, because to get gasoline you must have dead organisms (mostly plant life, but yes, dinosaurs too) get buried under layers of stone and dirt, have it heated and pressurized by the functions of the Earth, wait 10 million years, have a bunch of PLO looking dudes move in over it, have someone figure out that you can burn this stuff in a manner that heats homes and powers machinery, subjugate the PLO guys, extract, refine, ship and distribute it.

It takes a lot of time and money to do all of that, so don't be too unhappy if gas costs $2 and change a gallon. It beats walking to Boston. That said, a reasonable person doesn't want to pay more than necessary to drive the beater around.

We're here to help you with that. We check with the Massachusetts Gas Prices website, set the search engine there for "last 36 hours," and tell you the best and worst listed prices in town. After that, it's on you to decide if it is worth driving across the Bourne Bridge from where you live to save 25 cents a gallon.

A few notes on our methodology:

Gas prices can change at the drop of a hat. I pumped gas for a few years (I was never happier at a job, to be honest), and we usually changed over on Friday, before the weekend commute. There was a great deal of gouge-the-tourist behind this, but it is also when most people are getting their paychecks and filling their tanks.

We'd write this column on Friday night, but these gas price websites are user-driven, and it takes a while for the info to trickle in. Sunday is a good driving day (see intro), and with no tourists at this time of year, many/most stations don't lower the prices on Monday to favor the locals.

Note that, in this political climate, gas prices could suddenly spike. An oil company executive is our Secretary of State, and a simple "Those damned Iranians need to die 100,000 at a time. Pathetic!" social media message from the wrong orange-tinted president could double gas prices overnight.

Wareham is part of Cape Cod in this scenario, as is mainland Bourne.

If you see a lower/higher price in town that we didn't list, use our comments feature below to correct us. If there is more than one Shell in your town, it's on you to drive enough to find the cheap one.

National Average Gas Price: $2.228

Massachusetts Average Gas Price; $2.259

Price per barrel, crude oil: $53.57


GAS PRICES BY TOWN

Provincetown:
Wellfleet:
Truro:
No Prices reported

Orleans
Best: $2.37, Cumby's, Speedway
Worst: $2.39, Mobil

Eastham
Best: $2.35, Tedeschi

Chatham
$2.37, Shell

Brewster
Best: $2.32, Cumby's
Worst: $2.38, Mobil

Dennis
Best: $2.11, Mobil
Worst: $2.35, Sav-On

Yarmouth
Best: $2.16, Speedway
Worst: $2.39, Shell

Barnstable
Best: $2.19, Mobil
Worst: $2.29 Citgo

Hyannis
Best: $2.06, United
Worst: $2.19, Excel

Mashpee
Best: $2.26, Stop & Shop
Worst: $2.29, Shell(s)

Falmouth
Best: $2.23, Intergas, also same price at Johnny's Tune and Lube
Worst: $2.31, Mobil

Sandwich
Best: $2.24, Shell
Worst: $2.35, Speedway

Bourne:
Best: $2.09, at both Speedway and Super
Worst: $2.22, Bourne Rotary Cumby's

Wareham
Best: $2.23, Mobil

If you're going ashore soon, we'll have South Coast and South Shore articles up soon enough. We've got you covered, almost anywhere you go.


Saturday, February 25, 2017

Heavy Fog This Morning


There's a Dense Fog Advisory for the South Coast, apparently at least to Bourne.


This is Buttermilk Bay in Bourne, MA.


Here's a mooring buoy at 20 yards, in case you're wondering how thick the fog is.


It should burn off by 9 AM or so.