Showing posts with label hanover. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hanover. Show all posts

Saturday, March 4, 2017

The Rise, Fall and Rebirth Of The Hanover Mall


A local icon is about to get a major face lift in an attempt to Get Modern.

The Hanover Mall was sold recently (to PECO Real Estate Partners, for $39.5 million), and the new owners came out this week and debuted their plans for the Route 3 landmark.

The plans are radical. it involves the Hanover Mall becoming a sort of outdoor mall, along the lines of Shops At The 5 in Plymouth or even- keeping it Plymouth- the Colony Place mall with the Wal-Mart. Rather than enter one big building with all the shop entrances inside the mall, you can pull up to whatever store you want to go to.

Malls, aka large scale public shopping centers, have been around at least as long as Rome, and actually predate Rome if you're willing to break out the dictionary and argue Semantics for a while. Trajan's Market in Rome is the first one with a name I can find, but Istanbul, Damascus, Tehran, Oxford, Paris and St. Petersburg have malls that are older than America. Timbuktu, technically a city, was essentially a mall that was fortunate enough to have culture spring up around it.

America mastered the mall, and we were/are the catalyst behind the advent of the modern mall. America is big, and we spread ourselves further out than European or Middle Eastern people do. This led to us getting into cars and highways and- most importantly- Suburbia.

Notice that all of the old malls that I named are based in cities. For much of history, people would take their goods into the cities, where the large numbers of people gave them the largest market possible for those goods. Cars, trains and highways allowed Americans to flee the teeming industrial cities, and they didn't want to have to trek back into the Metropolis every time they needed a vacuum cleaner or a manicure.

In the same vein, the low population density of a suburb means that you can't set up a vacuum store in town and sell enough of them to earn a living. Americans also need a great variety of stuff, and there is only so much room on Main Street. You can't fit every sort of store that someone needs in one town.

Keep in mind, this is pre-Internet. If you need a part for your wood stove and it's 1972, you can't just order it online. You can't even Google up a location for the Wood Stove Parts store a few towns over from you. That's just how it was back then. "The Internet must have sucked in the 1920s," as one of my students once said.

The solution? Build an airport-sized building, and fill it with every sort of shop that a person could want. Space these buildings out, maybe one or three per county. Soon enough, rather than trekking town to town in search of an obscure product that you need, you can walk through a mall full of more stuff than you could possibly even take a crack at buying in an average life span. Walk through your local mall today, and you'll probably see several dozen stores that you will never set foot in. "This place has got everything," as Joliet Jake once said.

Laws opening up land for development and tax dodges where real estate investment trusts could avoid corporate income taxes spurred mall growth. Retail Stores dominated America. The enclosed suburban mall style (like Hanover) came about in the 1950s. By 2015, there was 48 square feet of retail space for every American.

Malls are deeply ingrained in American culture. While I lack the fashion knowledge, several girls in Duxbury that I knew in high school could tell where someone was from by a formula of A (what they're wearing) = B (which mall had an Old Navy or whatever), which = C (the kid must be from the region which had that mall), so A = C.

Every kid in every 1980s movie who wasn't babysitting or selling drugs  worked in a mall. I think that all of the non-Spicoli kids from Fast Times At Ridgemont High worked in a mall. The best car chase in The Blues Brothers went through a mall.


The Hanover Mall has stood in place since 1971, and was the only mall in the region until they put the Independence Mall (now known by the newly redesigned and ridiculous Kingston Collection moniker). If you commute to Boston up Route 3 from anywhere south of Exit 13, you look at the Hanover Mall twice a day.

Any kid from the 1980s Irish Riviera who was too far from the South Shore Plaza didn't have many mall choices. Hanover was your mall. It's where you did your school shopping, where the cinema was, where to try to get girls before you figured out Beer... it was where you could buy jeans and have a pretzel while someone was fixing your brakes. If you couldn't knock off your Christmas shopping in one trip there, you weren't trying hard.

Still, as the child of the 80s grew up, he saw the Decline setting in. I can recall being very angry when the York Steak House left (one YSH remains in America, and it's in Ohio), I still miss Friendly's and Brigham's, I disagreed with the closing of Zayre's and a big part of me thinks that the mall people deserved what they got when they uprooted the fountain.

The Hanover Mall never really died, and the tail still wags. They just became marginalized. It's funny, because it is straddled by wealthy towns like Duxbury and Cohasset, but here's what did in the Hanover Mall that you know and love. Keep in mind,the guy doing all this urban planning talk peaked in life as a Sportswriter, and has very little experience planning malls and analyzing market trends.

1) They were slow to adapt to the Food Court idea. When the Independence Mall opened and you could get Taco Bell in these parts, it was very bad for Hanover when the best non-Brigham's meal you could get in their mall was an Orange Julius. Much like a house with shag carpeting, the Hanover Mall had a very 1970s look during an era of rapid Mall Change.

2) The Independence Mall came when the Hanover Mall was getting complacent. Hanover was the only dog in town for a while, and when the Kingston mall opened, people had shopped themselves out at Hanover's long-term offerings. "Let's go to Hobbytown again!"

3) Hanover had a highway project going right off Route 3's exit that took 35 years or so to complete, and the left turn towards the mall for someone coming up from Plymouth was a death wish.

4) We're getting into Square Footage talk that I'm not really smooth enough to discuss, but Hanover was very poorly equipped to accommodate the big Box Stores that came into vogue after Hanover was constructed.

5) Wal-Mart kills everything else, why not the Hanover Mall? You can carry a dozen shopping bags full of goods through 40 stores like a homeless person at a mall, or you can get all of that stuff in shoddy, Made-in-Chine mode and run it through the register all at once in a Wally.

6) The Hanover Mall eventually went into business with the devil and gave Wal-Mart a corner office, but it's one of those weak Wallys without the supermarket. More modern malls are built to accommodate free-standing Super Wal-Marts.

7) Hanover finally went for a food court, but they did so when Kingston was kicking their ass. The food court was never profitable, and they ended up putting an Old Navy there instead.

8) We had a backbreaking recession kick in by 2008, and there was trouble with gas inflation long before that. Those things bring about the Want/Need question among belt-tightening people.

9) The Internet slit a lot of Mall throats. Why wander through gangs of teenagers when you could instead just order stuff online? While a mall has great variety, the Internet has more stuff.

10) Hanover is set in a wealthy area of the South Shore, and those towns tend to trend Elderly. Old people buy less stuff, and towns with lots of elderly are bad places to open up a Hot Topic in.

11) The growth of Southern Plymouth (and the explosion of shopping options south of the Independence Mall) both drew away customers and illustrated the new open-mall game plan that Hanover would either adopt or perish before.

12) Malls in general went into decline. Malls were still being built in the 1990s, but a marked decline was present by the turn of the century. The fight-or-flight period for many struggling malls went down during the Great Recession.

13) Store owners balked at the high cost of heating the common areas in an indoor mall.


Hanover is now rolling the dice on the outdoor mall approach. This will be a sort of retail cul-de-sac formation, based around several box stores.

They'll pour millions of dollars into it, snarl up the traffic some, and a whole new entity will emerge in the following years. It will be a major economic base in the central South Shore, and it will employ or supply many of her residents.

We'll miss the old Hanover Mall, but progress is inexorable, Several "dead" malls (Hanover, which is still somewhat vibrant, qualifies as a "dead" mall among mall-labeling people because it is seen to be underperforming) have been restored to their former glory through just this sort of bulldozing, and Hanover is in a prime commercial region.

Even the guy who paid $39 million for the Hanover mall described it as a "B+" 1970s mall that "started to diminish." I doubt that's what he has in mind as an end goal, so we should end up with a pretty cool mall sitting in a prime location just off the highway.

Only time will tell us what ends up in there. He could change his mind and fill it with low-income housing, for all that I know. For now, we're looking at a bulldozing and rebuilding project, and a brand new, redesigned Hanover Mall that will confuse elderly people for a generation.

Construction is set to kick off at the end of 2017, so prepare yourselves. We'll be back with an update as they get closer to Bulldozer Time.



Friday, December 2, 2016

MIAA State Championship Football Schedule

Saturday is when we settle the Who Is The Best Football Team questions for like 8 different arguments. We get some cross-state fights.... I can almost guarantee that no one from Shrewsbury or Wachonah has ever spent much time worrying about how life is in Duxbury or Mashpee, and vice versa. Their views will change after they have beaten or been beaten by the other in front of their townmates, parents and cheerleaders.

Our predictions run as follows:

Everett 21, Xaverian 18
King Phillip 24, Reading 23
Duxbury 56, Shrewsbury 0
Falmouth 28, Marblehead 27
Hanover 18, Grafton 10
East Bridgewater 20, St. Mary's 7
Mashpee 34, Wahconah 0
Maynard 7, Mills-Hopedale 6



Wednesday, June 1, 2016

Archives: An Interview With A Springfield Tornado Witness

Today is the 5th anniversary of the Springfield Tornado. We did an interview with an eyewitness, a Hanover middle school girl.  

Hanover Middle School Student Has Near Miss With Springfield Tornado
One of the benefits that you the reader enjoy when reading this column is that the authors who compose it have a lot of friends who end up in the news.
Remember that family who got shot at by the Route 3 sniper, the one where the window blew out next to the 5 year old kid? The mother went to high school with Stacey. Remember the Wareham double murder? Yours truly may or may not have put that kid's head off a car door a month prior. Abdullah knew the witnesses, too.
The pattern continues today. The Colonel is actually very good friends with the parents of Ceara McLaughlin (one of whom is my nutrition counselor), who was all over the news yesterday. Ceara was in a school bus, and on her way home from a trip to Six Flags amusement park in Agawam. Sounds fun so far, right?
Her bus ride home may have been the worst bus ride ever, or at least the worst bus ride since the one in Dirty Harry or that Speed movie. Before she cleared Springfield, her bus was forced to stop as the Springfield tornado roared across the highway in front of it.
Thanks to brave Ceara and her friends from the Hanover Middle School Chorus, we have some details and photographs of the action.
We immediately dispatched Ted to speak with Ceara and get the first hand info. Ceara is 14, and has that bounce-backedness that all kids have when faced with something that would scare me so badly that I'd start making Apocalypse Now speeches... "You must make a friend of horror, or it will become a formidable enemy..."
Ceara actually seems pretty upbeat about it. In a situation where I would be throwing children aside to escape faster, she kept her wits, got a pretty good description of the whole event, and even snapped some pictures.
Without any further ado, I present to you my good friend Ceara McLaughlin.
Ted- Give me a brief description of what happened....
Ceara- We were riding home from Six Flags and there was a little traffic, I'm not sure which road we were on, but we were on some highway near Agawam.
   We started to see rotating clouds and most people thought it wouldn't become anything, but then it started to make a funnel cloud. It came closer and we saw that there were dirt, shingles, and small boards spinning around, and then it crossed the highway right in front of us.
   It went to the other side of the highway, over a few buildings (picking up more shingles off of roofs of buildings), and then it went over a house on a hill and we saw it ripping up little parts of the roof. Then it disappeared!
   We figured out later that the little one we saw actually didn't disappear over the hill - it went on to become much bigger, and that was most likely the one that ripped through Springfield.

- Did you (or anyone you know) get any pictures of the tornado? (If yes, email it to me)
- A lot of my friends took pictures so I'll attach them, not sure if they're that clear :P (Editor's Note: They're superb.)

- How much did the tornado miss you by?-  It probably missed us by around 50 feet. I was in the back, but the people in the front said it came really close to them, they were almost in it.

- What does a tornado look like that close up?
- Well, it looks weaker than it is. You think it isn't that strong, but then it rips up a tree. It's really, really fast and just whips around wherever it wants to go.
   I was kind of afraid it would double back and go right into us or something, or that it would get close enough that some of the stuff it was carrying would fly into the windows and break them. It was really dark too, especially the clouds around it.

What did the trip's chaperones tell you to do when the tornado came at you?
- They were kind of amused, but then when it got closer they were telling everyone to stay calm and that we would all be fine. After it went to the other side of the highway and across the hill, they were actually joking around that there was a cow floating around in it.

Did the bus driver have to jam on the brakes or anything radical?
- Basically, everyone around us was slowing down when they saw it, then they stopped, and a few people even backed up. But no, nothing too dramatic.

Did anything funny fly by, like a cow or a pickup truck?- Hahahahahaha nope!

If there was a girl named Dorothy on the bus, would you have ordered her off?- Absolutely xD

Who was the coolest head on the bus? If this were a movie, it'd be the football player, but I'm wondering if it might have been the Eagle Scout instead, or one of the smoker types.
- I'm not really sure, I was mostly paying attention to my friends around me, I could barely see who was in the front of the bus.
- Was the screaming louder on the bus than on the roller coaster at Six Flags?
- Not on our bus, we were actually relatively calm, just. A few people were yelling or crying, but not quite screaming. There were a few people on other buses who were really freaking out.
How scared were you?- Well, I saw that it probably wouldn't pick up a person or a car- judging by the fact that it was only carrying some shingles, boards, and other debris- so I wasn't that freaked out. But I was pretty scared that it would come near us and blow us around, or something would fly into the windows. The lightning and other weather we saw afterwards was really scary, though!
What does a Tornado vs. House look/sound like?
- When it hit an actual house, it was too far away to hear, but it looks pretty odd. The house loses every time!  xD

- Not related to the storm, but what was the coolest ride at Six Flags?
- I went on this older roller coaster called the "Thunderbolt" a ton of times, and that one was really fun!
 Photos courtesy of the Hanover Middle School Chorus

Sunday, May 8, 2016

Iconic Regional Businesses: The South Shore


Be sure to check out our CAPE COD and also our SOUTH COAST versions of this article. Same intro, different businesses.

Life has bounced me from Boston to Quincy to Duxbury to Worcester (back) to Duxbury to Monponsett to Cape Motherlovin' Cod. I've seen them come and go, friend.

One thing that I noticed as I hopped around was that some business chains I got used to in one spot would either not exist in another spot, or some other product in the same field would be dominant in this new region.

I'd also see businesses that started in one spot springing up everywhere. That's always nice to see, especially with something you grew up loving... it sort of affirms your sense of good taste for you.

One other phenomena I'd see is that, while my friends and I might favor one particular local place or another, we'd have a regional default option.

To use an example with a powerful business not born of these parts... we both might want a burger. I like Schmuckburgers over on Main Street. You like Ye Olde Slaughtered Cow on the State Road. However, there's always McDonald's.

Massachusetts is a funny place. We like things a certain way. There is an impressive list of otherwise nationally prosperous franchises who flop in Massachusetts. Pizza Hut, Papa John, Little Caesar and Domino's all struggle in Massachusetts, as locals often prefer their town's House Of Pizza. Locals laugh, especially near the coast, if you ask where the Red Lobster is. You might get punched, especially in Italian neighborhoods, if you ask where The Olive Garden is. IHOP and Krispy Kreme may be the biggest names crossed off of the Dunkin' Donut's hit list.

Today, we shall examine a few businesses which have that sort of regional recognition. Some people explore the world. Some people explore regions of it. If you are a regional tourist, look at this as a sort of Bucket List. You should be familiar with all of these businesses we are about to discuss, You can get your Local card pulled, otherwise.

Someone who never went to the Cape as a kid might not know the Thompson's Clam Bar jingle, while someone from Harwich might think that Peaceful Meadows is a pet cemetery. View these places as a sort of Mendoza Line. Thompson's never expanded regionally, and Peaceful Meadows might be an ounce of Swagger away from being listed down below.

I broke this list up by Barnstable/Plymouth/Bristol County, although it could very easily be Cape Cod/South Shore/South Coast. I had to stretch up to Mansfield to fatten the South Coast category, but it's still Bristol, babe.

Here we go...

Plymouth County

Marylou's Coffee

The mocha-making mini-MILFs in the pink shirts have a strong regional presence on the South Shore coffee market, not an easy job in the state that birthed both Dunkin' Donuts and Honey Dew.

Hanover was the site of the first Marylou's, but they have scattered all over the place from Quincy to Providence. I actually fly out of T.F. Green when I have to travel, so that I can load up on Marylou's before I leave. They have two stores on Cape Cod, three if you count the Sagamore one on the mainland.

You could kick my mother in the stomach, but if you gave me a large Almond Joy with cream and sugar first, I'd try to rationalize it.

Just kidding. I'm an orphan.



Mamma Mia

You're going to get a different answer to Best Pizza South Of Boston from a food critic type like the Phantom Gourmet, and that's correct if your one of those trendy people who like getting Goat Cheese on a pizza. If you're serious about pizza, however... there's only one choice once you get out of the city.

Mamma Mia'!

Mamma Mia has expanded in recent years, and they now range from Hanover to Carver to the Pinehills. The best one of the bunch, as is often the case with great restaurant chains, is in a shack-like building in Kingston.

Founded in 1974 in Kingston by the Viscariello brothers, because Italians. Children of the owners work in the shop making pizza boxes "until they are tall enough to reach the pizza counter."

I'm not the only South Shore kid who used to ask for Mamma Mia as a birthday dinner destination, right up until they invented video games. Mamma Mia's was a godsend for Busing refugees who moved out of the city and still wanted Boston-style pizza.


Persy's Place

Being a breakfast franchise in the hard-drinking Irish Riviera means that you are a sort of Emergency Room for hangover sufferers.

The first Persy's Place was opened in Kingston, about 100 yards as the bird flies from the first Mamma Mia. They opened for business in 1982, and now have 9 restaurants ranging from Kingston to Providence to Centerville.

Much like Mamma Mia's, I think they add towns as the owner's children get experienced enough to run a place solo.

A few people tell me that the Wareham one sucks, but I also had a girlfriend who would get angry if we went for breakfast anywhere but the Kingston Persy's.

If you like baked beans served with your breakfast (you don't get much more Massachusetts than that, save for "getting into a fight at a rotary"), this is the place for you.


Ocean Spray

The first name in cranberries was born in Hanson, in 1930. It was originally three farmers looking to expand their reach by pooling their efforts. The whole is greater than the sum of the parts now and then, as Ocean Spray did $2.2 billion in sales in 2013.

They did this simply by inventing what most people would recognize as cranberry sauce, then inventing cranberry juice, then Cran-Apple, then juice boxes and finally sweetened dried cranberries. If they think of it, invest in it... it's probably going to work.

There are plenty of people in America who have never seen a Dunkin' Donuts, have no idea what the Christmas Tree Shops are and think that Papa Gino is a mobster. These people still most likely give some money to Ocean Spray, usually at Thanksgiving.

They're now based in the Middleboro/Lakeville area.

I actually wrote a shameful amount of this article, while drinking a Cran-Grape, without remembering to include Ocean Spray.


Dunkin' Donuts

DD deserves their own category. They not only rule the region, they scare away almost all competitors. Like we said, they own scalps like Krispy Kreme and IHOP. If they don't rule the Coffee Shop world, I'd like to know who does.

The first Dunkin' opened up in 1950, in Quincy. They now have 31,000 locations in 30 countries. You can get Dunkin' in Russia, China, Oman, Syria, Singapore, Peru... while the Navy SEALs who killed Osama bin Laden didn't say whether or not the Al-Qaeda el jefe was holding a Coolatta when they aerated his head, it is possible... there's a Dunkin' Donuts in Karachi, Pakistan. It's not in Abbottabad, but it does deliver.

Dunkin' just opened in California (if you go to business school, you learn that it is natural to expand into Lebanon before California), and they have lines around the block.

The section of Bourne where I live has three Dunkins within one hundred yards of each other, with a half dozen more reachable with a five minute drive..


Papa Gino's

This is a chain that started in East Boston in 1961, founded by Michael and Helen Velario. It was "Piece o' Pizza" until 1968.

Papa Gino's is one of those default chains we spoke of earlier. My girlfriend and I differ on pizza. She likes Greek pizza, which is more popular on the South Coast. I believe that Italians make pizza the best. The one pizza we agree on is Papa Gino's.

If you move to a new town, you love pizza and your local House Of Pizza sucks, you'd better find either a Papa Gino's or a realtor.

Again, Papa Gino's is a Boston chain, but it quickly became the South Shore's baby. This may because Italians tended to move north and west out of Boston when Busing hit, thus giving those towns a better House Of Pizza talent pool. I'm looking at a crowded Locations Near You map right now, and while I may have the numbers fudged a bit, there seem to be as many Papa Gino's on the South Shore as there are in Boston, the North Shore and MetroWest combined.


Pilgrims

Plymouth makes a pretty good dollar milking the Pilgrims.

You can go to Plimoth Plantation, Plymouth Rock, the Mayflower II, several historic sites and several museums to get your John Alden on if that's what you're looking to do.

I've said it before, and I'm saying it now. Plymouth's parade and Thanksgiving football game should be nationally televised events.

While Plymouth may be a hoot and a holler when compared to some of her sleepy neighbors like Plympton or Duxbury, it's hardly New Orleans or Los Angeles. Still, almost every sentient person in America knows at least a little bit about it.

You can make some money off of stuff like that.

Tuesday, January 5, 2016

Opening Day Blues: The Peril Of Driving In The First Snow Of The Season


We have had a couple of minor winter weather events recently, officially kicking off the Snow season. With this snowfall came a slew of fender-bending fun. Monday's evening commute was a doozy on the South Shore, as ocean-effect snow came down hard.

This snow was the catalyst behind dozens of car crashes. If you surfed Facebook on Monday afternoon, you saw the horror stories coming in.

"Kingston to Green Harbor, 60 minutes."

"Tried getting off the highway onto Route 53.... bad idea. Parking lot."

"Four concurrent accidents between Exit 11 and Exit 10 in Duxbury."

"Route 44: 10 Miles, 45 Minutes."

We wrote yesterday about how Southerners have difficulties driving in snow. A warm city like Atlanta can be shoved into zombie-apocalypse chaos by 2 inches of snow. For one day every year, so can Massachusetts.

While it snowed for a good, long time yesterday, in the end, we only got 2-4". That's nothing. Last year, we were getting 2-4 inches an hour for about 6 weeks. While I don't have the numbers for Massachusetts handy, I'd bet that it took 20 inches of February snow to get the highway anarchy that we had Monday night with our 2 inches.


I did poke around those Internets to see if I could find anything official-looking to validate my suspicions. An article from a 2004 Pennsylvania newspaper cites a study of 1.4 million fatal accidents showed that a substantially larger percentage of fatal accidents went down on the first day of snowfall in a season.

First snowfalls are especially deadly for elderly drivers, who seem to be mixing "difficulties adjusting to winter conditions" with "this was the event where Grammy really began to show her age" and adding a touch of "Grandpa needs to upgrade from his 1976 Coupe De Ville."

A more recent article concerning an Iowa State Patrol study showed that in 2014, there were 700 accidents in November. Most of these were attributed to snowfall. In December, which in theory is deeper in the winter and subsequently snowier, the number of accidents drops to 359.

Wisconsin, which is snowier than Massachusetts, agrees with my theory enough that at least one newspaper there titled an article "People Need To Re-Learn How To Drive."

Its the same set of mistakes in any snowy community. People drive too fast, they ride the other car's bumper, and they respond poorly to snow-related hazards. In non-wintry communities, you can add "lack of snow-removal equipment" to the mix.

People who get year-after-year snow have a tendency to adjust as the winter sets in, which the Iowa study shows. They ease up on the gas pedal, they avoid dangerous or busy roads, they remember to leave earlier, they get snow tires, and they perform a zillion other calibrations to their driving style.

We are actually at a high point in snow-driving proficiency among people in Southeastern Massachusetts. Last winter was one of our worst ever. Many towns shattered their winter snowfall record totals. You may live a long time before you see a winter like that one.

This means that almost every driver on the local roads, with the exception of snowbirds and kids who just got their license this year, has some experience driving in the worst winter conditions that Massachusetts can dish out. Teenagers right now have the same Worst Winter Ever perspective as a 70 year old man. That should make for a lengthy period of slightly better local driving.

Except during the first snowfall, of course. We all fall to pieces then.


Monday, October 26, 2015

Halloween Displays Around SE Massachusetts: Part One

We had a fairly good series of thoughts the other day.

- We should do a Halloween Display article.
- Very few singular people can give a list of 250 or so houses with cool displays (I am now one of these people).
- Why not use Facebook (I spam our articles over every You Know You're From ____ When... page in the region, and have access to scores of such groups) to get a good list going?
- Gather up the suggestions (we had a few hundred) and start mapping routes for several road trips.
- Spill our results out over a series of pre-Halloween articles.

We rarely start off with that much of a game plan, so this will probably end up working out OK.


We got a bevy of suggestions for where to look. We ranged from Plymouth (the Slenderman-looking Tim Burton guy at the top of the article) to the skeletal Wizard of Oz scene we saw in Weymouth, to wherever else our travels took us.

Facebook was very handy. We got a pile of street names. Some got repeated, always a good sign. I'm still getting suggestions as I write this, but fear not- we have enough pictures for several days of articles on this subject.

We got a few bum steers (we had several in a row on our first run), but we also stumbled onto some cool stuff, so it sort of balanced out. I'm not into Wicca, but I think they're big on Mother Earth and all, and nature loves a balance. My own logic is witchy enough that we went home happy most of the time.


Rich people plaza.... nice setup, though. It needs a Zombie, right in that empty spot near the hay bales.

We drove down a lot of Massachusetts streets doing this series of articles. Some towns stood out more than others, but not by a wide margin (editor's note: we haven't done Deluxebury yet) Most people don't decorate at all. Among those that do, most are subtle. A pumpkin, a scarecrow, a few cornstalks... you know, the regular.

We set out to find people who went in a little deeper. I'm talkin' ten-foot-spider-swallowing-a-human-in-front-of-a-two-hundred-sixty-one-year-old-historical-register-property deep.


Apparently, things get a little more ultraviolent on Bartlett's Green than I was previously led to believe.

The spider also looks like hes doing the Baby Bird with some poor intern, but that was most likely not the intent of the sculptor.

That spider, a Kingston resident, doesn't dare try that act in Duxbury. If he did, he'd get tuned up by Duxbury's legendary Green Dragon. The GD holds it down off Route 3A in Duxbury. There are those who say that he stares into your soul as you drive by him.

The Green Dragon does year-round duty, but he gets extra powers on Halloween. If you ever look up at the nearby Myles Standish monument and wonder where his sword went.... well, it got busted off quick-fast when Myles tried that St. George stuff with the Route 3A Dragon. You know... back in the day.

Kids dress in all sorts of costumes. They sometimes favor horror (my kid had to be carefully edged away from Creepypasta-themed costumes), but they sometimes go out as a Princess or a Cowboy or an Astronaut. Its not always horror, although it was for most of the history of the activity.

However, people who decorate their lawns almost always go for Horror. I checked out almost every town, including yours. I saw a lot of chainsaw massacres and MacBeth-ian witch gatherings, but I rarely saw innocent Haloween decorations. I can think of one, a Peanuts-themed setup in Halifax that I'll get to in another article.


We'll throw in the obligatory warning that I am a much worse photographer than Jessica is. As you see below, we also have some trouble shooting at night.

I may take another crack at this shot above, It's off Herring Pond Road in Plymouth, and I pass it all the time. Even a hack photographer will get lucky if Stephen he shoots enough.

Our principal value to you is our legs. We covered a lot of ground doing this article, and we aren't done yet.

We'll try to drop an article a day up until Halloween hits. If your town got jobbed this time, fear not. We'll probably get to it in a few days.


Stay Spooky!

Thursday, July 23, 2015

Enter The Hoodsie....



So, what is this Hoodsie that the author speaks of?

No, it's not the little ice cream cup with the wooden spoon in the picture above, although those are good and I want one right now.

Basically, a Hoodsie is a female teenager from the South Shore. It's more complicated than that, but that's the short answer.

Usually, the author finds out the answer to the question and then writes the article. That's not going to be the case here, as I am expecting the real answer to this question to turn up in the comments.

Here is what I don't know about the term, which makes for a longer article than if I told you what I know for sure:

- Why are South Shore girls known as Hoodsies?

- How far does the term range?

- When did the term come into use?


WHY?

I have no idea on the Why? The Hood company was founded in Charlestown, though they may have got the actual milk from Bridgewater. From what I have heard, the term is used by city people when speaking of South Shore girls. It seems pretty complicated for a nickname.

Boston University has The Wicked Good Guide To Boston English, and the term makes an appearance in there. It is not ascribed to the South Shore in there, nor was it listed so in the Universal Hub definition.

A thread on Yelp said that a Hoodsie was a sexually promiscuous girl below the legal age of consent, but they may be confusing that with "jailbait." The author may also have heard the term in his youth, when he was hunting South Shore snuggling from younger girls.

I have also heard, on Facebook, that the nickname stems from girls sitting on the hoods of cars.

As near as I can tell, Boston guys would go to the South Shore to get girls. Both dictionaries list "scoop" as a term for picking up girls. Hood was the dominant local ice cream, a Hoodsie is an individual serving, and here come Donna from Weymouth! The girls, equated with something you scoop like ice cream, thus became Hoodsies. I suppose that the fact that there aren't many reasons for a Boston guy to go to Abington beyond "scooping" also led to the association.

More than one source said that the Hoodsie's slogan of "small and sweet and good to eat" played a role in the name, but only one source notes the Hoodsie cup size connotation with the smaller breasts of the teenager.... which has to be true, because I read it on a site called Swing Batta Batta Swing.

I could be 1000% wrong about this, I'm speculating about something that barely merits a mention on the Internet.


EPICENTER, TIMING AND RANGE

If I'm not wrong about the South Shore ownership of the term, I'd assume that it came to us with the development of the highway system. I'd especially associate it with Route 3.

I say this because Route 3 either A) made it feasible to drive from Dorchester to Hanover to get a little somethin'-somethin', or B) led to an exodus from the city, which brought a term generally associated with Boston girls into the South Shore suburbs. SBBS listed the term as a Dorchester/Southie term, and the South Shore filled up with people from Southie, The Dot, JP, Roslindale and Hyde Park right around when busing started.

I actually like Option B the best, with Hoodsie as a White Flight import from the city. It makes the most sense, and it follows the path of least resistance. Boston schools went from 100,000 kids pre-busing to 55,000 kids in 1988, and many of the refugees ended up in the Irish Riviera.

Duxbury, for example, went from 4700 people in 1960 to 11,000 in 1980. That's a remarkable growth rate, even before you factor in the town's more elderly demographic. I, personally, was in Dorchester in 1970 and in Duxbury by 1978. I was not the only Dorchester kid in my Duxbury classes by a long shot. Plymouth went from 18,000 people in 1970 to 35,000 in 1980. Ol' Marsh Vegas went from 6000 in 1960 to 20,000 in 1980.

A lot and maybe most of that spike is the Baby Boom, but a lot of it is White Flight. It is, in my completely uneducated opinion, enough oomph to transfer slang from city to suburbs.

So, the date would either be the late 1950s (Route 3 goes through the South Shore) or the 1970s (White Flight). I'm hoping that some old-schooler enlightens me in the comments section. It may be a bit of both.

The range of the Hoodsie term becomes the issue here. I have only heard it ascribed to South Shore girls, but I also can only claim Duxbury, Halifax and Buzzards Bay as my last three hometowns. There could be Hoodsies running around in Natick or Woburn or Concord or Mansfield for all that I know.

If my White Flight theory is correct, the term would move out to the suburbs with the city kids. Enough white kids remained in the city for the term to remain there, but enough white kids had left that the term became suburban. It's sort of how the country with the most black people isn't African, it's Brazil... but, just about the opposite of that. I digress...

To determine the range of the Hoodsie by operating along this theory, you just have to go through some census numbers on Ye Olde Wikipedia. I already fed you Duxbury and Marsh Vegas data... how does the North Shore and Metro West stack up? Does the White Flight reach New Hampshire or even the South Coast?

I'll pick random towns, or we'll be here all day. We'll go 1970 population to 1980 population.

Stoneham... 17K to 21K, nine miles north of the Bean

Framingham... 64K to 65K

Middleboro... 13K to 16K

Foxboro... 14,218 to 14,178, and that's with the Patriots moving to town during the era in question.

Andover... 24 to 26K

Marion... 3400 to 3900

Manchester-by-the-Sea, 5100 to 5400

OK, what I'm seeing here and not listing in numbers is that Massachusetts suburban towns tended to have population explosions from 1950 to 1970, but the South Shore also had a Busing Boom in the 1970s that doubled the population of some towns.

To this day, people who know this stuff tell me that Geography isn't why the Cape Cod accent doesn't get across the Canal, it's that the Boston accent stormed South in the 1970s with all the White Flight kids. I can recall getting SPED-type help for my speech in 1978, my first year in Duxbury. All that I can remember of it was the lady making me say "barter" and "martyr" over and over.

SUMMARY

So, my research leads me to believe that "Hoodsie" is a Boston term, most likely distinct to the Irish parts of town like Jamaica Plain and Southie. When busing came, those cities disgorged their wealthier Irish-Catholics onto the South Shore, and those people brought the concept of the Hoodsie with them. By 1980, it had become a South Shore term, and by 2015, it had been South Shore long enough that city folk- the original Hoodsies- now referred to the South Shore girls as Hoodsies.

Yup, it's that confusing AFTER we try to summarize it. But I'm pretty sure that the theory is correct.

I thank you for your time.

Not hoodsies, just cool enough to pose for Cranberry County Magazine...