Showing posts with label Wareham. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Wareham. Show all posts

Monday, April 24, 2017

Fast Food Oversaturation In Wareham?

If your doctor told you that you needed more cholesterol, you might want to get into the Fatmobile and bring the pod to East Wareham.

Sonic Drive-In, an Oklahoma-based restaurant chain that banks much green in the South, is slowly edging into Massachusetts. They have set their sites on Wareham, via the Patel family, owners of a bunch of Taunton-area convenience stores.

We had to go to Somerset to get these pics, but of course you know that I stopped for a salad on the way and didn't eat any artery-clogging fast food. We include the pictures for SE Massachusetts people who have never been to a Sonic. They're rare around here.

The same area of Wareham is also getting an Olive Garden.

As near as I can tell, the Sonic is going onto the property currently occupied by an oil-change shop, so your fries will have a Pennzoil taste to them. The Olive Garden is said to be going across the street from Barnacle Bill's.

How much is too much?

A lonely stretch of East Wareham is now host to a veritable takeout Mecca. You can get Burger King, Subway, McDonald's, D'Angelo's, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Taco Bell, Wendy's, Krua Thai, Pizza Boy, Rice Bowl and Dunkin Donuts. I'm not throwing Papa Gino's, Lindsay's or Bailey's into the mix, as you can't order from your car there. I'm pretty sure that the 99 only closed because the building floods in heavy rains.

It's the Cardiac Highway!

We're not Food Snobbing anyone. Stephen, one of our writers, hasn't cooked his own food since 2011 or so. However, about one hundred yards of East Wareham, a depressed region of a small town, now has every fast food place in the Northeast.

They could use a White Castle or a Carl Jr's/Hardee's, but there is only so much Cranberry Highway.

Buzzards Bay had a Burger King fail, which isn't easy. Other than the Hooters: Cape Cod and the Falmouth/Kingston Pizza Huts, it is the most high profile failure of a major fast food chain in the area.

You order off this screen, into the sort of speaker that you used to see at drive-in theaters. Someone skates out with it, and you get into the goods. I need both glasses and a taller car.

Jessica and I passed on the tater tots, as I ate them every day for 4 years in high school. I got the SuperSonic Bacon Double Cheeseburger (pictures below), which came with fries and a soda for about $10. The burger was a-ight, but the fries were Ore-Ida quality.

My meal had over 1500 calories and 2200 milligrams of sodium before I counted the milkshake (it had about 3000 calories with the milkshake... meanwhile, famine victims in refugee camps are happy to get 1200 calories a day), and the unknowable portion sizes makes it impossible to gauge how many calories I stole from Jessica's food. The recommended daily allowance for sodium is 3400 mg, but I consider that to be a piddling sum ascribed to a 105 pound woman. I'm a slim 240 man, so I should get to have twice as much sodium as mortals are allowed. I plan on buying a salt lick and just posting it up in my office somewhere.

I didn't get a pic of it, but when I took the bun and tomato off of the burger, it looked somewhat like William Dafoe.

Jessica got the Chicken Strips Sampler Platter, which was 3 whack strips, more Ore-Ida fries, and onion ring and some toast. That also ran ten bucks, and you can see it below somewhere.

Jessica's chicken did not look like a celebrity.

My man Hardcore Logo got the Chicken Strips Kids Meal, which came with a shake and some Justice League stickers. He didn't let me steal any of it.

The rollerskater (who was a guy) was friendly enough. He's out hustling for his dollar, so I'm not making fun of him. I have had worse jobs. He was the first fast food employee I have ever tipped, aside from the Dunkin' and Marylou's girls.

That's your restaurant review. I made my journalistic bones as a sportswriter. Stacey's French, but she also isn't writing this article. We did go from Cape Cod to Somerset for these pictures, so we deserve some credit.

They must have been out of the Brazilian Man rollerskating waitress neon signs, which is understandable.

Does the population of Wareham have enough kids who know how to roller skate to staff a Sonic these days? You may not want to go there until the girls get their skating legs under them, lest you get a milkshake to the face (doh!) like the cop in the Happy Days intro.

Will this be enough for Sonic- who for some reason can't seem to come to some sort of spokesmanship agreement with the Sega hedgehog- to hold up on the Cranberry Highway against the heavyweights?

We'll goof on the Olive Garden in some future article where we have pictures of one. We consider going to an Olive Garden for Italian food to be akin to going to Red Lobster for seafood. It works if you don't have Italians around to call BS on it.

Olive Garden competing against Mezza Luna should be a devastating loss, but people like franchises. Don't count the OG out of it by any means.

Here's Jesse's dinner. I stole her onion rings before the picture could be taken... because I'm eeeeeevil.

Note that Sonic and Olive Garden are two more businesses who declined to move into (and perhaps revive) the Main Street area of Buzzards Bay. The only big names willing to dance with Buzzards Bay are Subway and Dunkin' Donuts, and we know that Dunkin' would set up in Aleppo if they were allowed.

How much fast food can one region consume? Will the added presence of Sonic be too much for BK or lil' Miss Wendy to bear? Wendy's in Wareham is sort of smelly, and Sonic may just walk them out behind the barn and put them out of their misery.

... or maybe Wareham needs more fast food? Does more fast food exist? Wahlburgers may be a bit high end. I'm not sure if Jack In The Box still exists. In-n-Out Burger or Phatburger (Fatburger?) may not make it here. I'm not sure if dropping a White Castle in Buzzards Bay or East Wareham works, especially for B Double. Chick Fil-A will help along people looking for a less gay-friendly chicken sandwich, but would you run the Bourne rotary for one?

Will the East Wareham economy survive if it is reduced to a bunch of people selling shoddy hamburgers to each other? If that happens, will employees eventually just be paid in hamburgers?

Will the very town of Wareham fracture along supper preference lines, with the higher-end West Ham and their Longhouses and Red Robins break away from their more ghetto McChicken-eating cousins in East Wareham?

Only time will tell.

Playing ring toss with onion rings makes the hardened arteries well worth it.

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Get Your Baby Chickens In Wareham

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I ate the chicken, and then I ate his leg."

We rolled deep into the TSC last week, to check the chicks. While "tractor store" wouldn't be the very last place I would look to buy chickens at (there is a strong farming connotation), it also isn't what you open the phone book to when you're looking for one. I'm not sure if getting your chickens at TSC is the same as getting pizza from a gas station, so I won't weigh in either way.

I don't farm much (I can't even grow weed), but it seems that the tractor would be the sworn enemy of little hard-to-see-from-the-tractor creatures who scurry around in the barnyard, such as the chicken.

TSC is in the Cranberry Plaza in Wareham, just off the fabulous Cranberry Highway. If you ain't there... you're somewhere else.

Cute little suckers, aren't they? I don't know enough about chickens to A) recommend raising some or B) tell you horror stories to keep you from doing so. I read "The Egg And I" once, that's about it. I'm not even sure what baby chickens are called, although I'm thinking "chicks."

I do know that, if you buy the wrong one- and the definition of "wrong" may be as simple and wide ranging as "male"- it'll be doing the old cock-a-doodle-doo for you every damn day at whatever hour the sun rises until you one day go outside and strangle it with your bare hands.

Life's too short for that sh*t, Hoss... even if you get free eggs.

They grow the dark meat chickens in their own little chicken ghetto, it seems...

Hey nowwwwwwwwwwww... I usually have to pull out the credit card for this kind of action.

99 cents is a damned cheap price for something that will grow up to either produce eggs or fill a dinner plate. I'm not sure how McNuggets are made, but it sure seems to me that these little fellows are about the same size and shape.

They are only selling chicks until a week after Easter, so be sure to hustle down and get clucked.

Tuesday, April 4, 2017

Flooded Cranberry Highway Impassable In Spots

Route 6/28 through Wareham, aka The Cranberry Highway, is impassable for all but the highest-profile of vehicles.

Drenching rains are pouring down on the 'Ham, and the area in front of the old 99 is an urban river.

This is the second time this week that the Cran has been too flooded to drive through. Any good rain does it these days.

Note that this is a major evacuation route for Buzzards Bay and Wareham, especially Onset, in the event of a hurricane. You'll want to get ghost early if your evacuation plans include East Wareham,

We'll be back if an update is necessary.

Click the "East Wareham" link at the bottom of the article for the map location of the flooded road.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Deep Archives: Manny, The Beast Of Onset

Not a lot of people know this, but we saw the Fake News trend coming back in 2011. 

OK, maybe "we" is stretching it, as the true answer is "Walter Brooks of Cape Cod TODAY saw it coming and decided to try out a Murdoch-style News of the World website applied to Cape Cod." He then handed the idea off to his star blogger, who- sadly- also wasn't me. "We," meaning "Stacey Monponsett by herself," thought up the idea of having a sea monster attack the 2011 Cape Verdean Festival.

Me? My job was to produce a picture of the sea monster. My efforts get dismissed pretty quickly in the article, and rightfully so. 

I get the last laugh, though. The site never gained momentum, and was abandoned. I am the first of us to even think of it since, and I'll see if I can make a few bucks off of the story in this new post-truth era of media. 

I should add here that I have been in media before, during and since 2011, and my ability to alter a picture of something normal into a convincing sea monster has not improved one iota.

So, without any further ado... 

Listen, children, and you'll never forget... Manny, the Beast of Onset.


The very foundation of Science was rocked today as a thirty meter sea monster emerged from Onset Bay and attacked the Cape Verdean Festival.

The monster was described by witnesses as looking "like a moron photoshopped a swan," while others said it looked like the famous sea serpent which attacked Cape Ann in 1639. It struck without warning and went straight for the Cape Verdean Festival, where thousands of revelers were enjoying an afternoon of heritage. It was described as over 30 meters long, with a generally Nessie-like appearance. It's head- at the end of a snakelike neck- was higher than the 40 foot high tower on the Inn At Onset Bay.

Ambling ashore, the creature immediately ate a family of 7 European tourists who were playing in the surf. It then attacked and sank an Onset Bay tour boat, which was hosting a fundraiser for the local Tea Party chapter. Tax reform advocates were gobbled like Pez as they swam for the perceived safety of the shore.

Not satisfied, the creature attacked the festival. Heading straight for the linguica stands, it paused only to snatch a few dozen of the slower people as the crowd ran for their lives. The people in the audience with concealed weapons began to fire upon the monster, with little effect.

The arrival of heavier armed police did little to slow the monster's rampage. Even the SWAT team was powerless against the beast. Swallowing a last resident, it jumped back into Onset Bay and swam towards New Bedford.

Experts are at a loss to explain the monster. It is unlike anything known to modern science, and would fit better in a Saint George legend. The Coast Guard and the US Navy were both eluded by the swift-swimming beast. The USS Kardashian had a sonar reading off Falmouth, but it turned out to be a rotund Connecticut tourist who was floating on a raft.

The possibility of a man-eating plesiosaur living off Cape Cod isn't expected to harm the region's tourist industry much. Onset is jammed with sightseers, and locals are selling them numerous t-shirts, bumper stickers, and trinkets modeled on the beast. Charter boats from Bourne to Brewster are booked for years in advance.

Locals have taken to calling the beast "Manny," in honor of Manny Monteiro, a linguica cart owner who tried to defend his business with a machete. He was bisected by the beast, who he swore to fry and consume. Wareham has named the high school sports teams the "Mannies" in his honor. Mark Anthony's Pizza now features a "Mannywich," which is a linguica/peppers/onion sub coated with Monster Blood (tomato sauce). Ben Affleck is rumored to be playing the valiant cartpusher in the movie.

Buzzards Bay has plenty of fish/whales/tourists to support a large colony of Mannysauruses. A Manny may very well be what attacked Provincetown in a 1719 legend, as well as the source of "globsters" like the one in Nantucket. It also explains a lot of whale beachings, and solves the questions associated with a right whale who washed up on Duxbury Beach with a 10 foot bite taken out of it. "The Beast of Onset could easily rape a blue whale if it wanted to," said one eyewitness.

A state of emergency was declared by Massachusetts governor Deval Patrick, and armed units of National Guardsmen are lining the shores of Massachusetts beaches. Machine guns, rocket launchers, and main battle tanks prowl the coastline. All of Cape Cod wonders where- and when- the Beast will strike again.

Posted by Monponsett at Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Sunday, January 8, 2017

January 2017 Blizzard Pics, Snowfall Totals

Our model Joeyna helps you get the drift of things with this here Blizzard of 2017

Snowfall total in Bourne, near the Bourne Bridge... 17"

The silent white dawn after a heavy snowfall... very Robert Frost, except that Robert Frost probably wasn't hanging around a Quality Inn.

We worked the camera around Bourne and Plymouth. They, and the interior Plymouth County towns like Bridgewater, Wareham and Halifax, were the epicenter of the storm... at least as far as snowfall went.

I was all in on some snowy country lane shots. This is Cedarville.

Of course I went to Marylou's. I'd have shoveled it out myself if I had to...

Let's check some snowfall totals, shall we?

East Bridgewater 19.5″
West Wareham 18.1"
Whitman 18.0″
Middleboro 17.6″
Norwell 17.1″
Hanover 17.0″
North Plymouth 17.0″
Rockland 17.0″
Buzzards Bay 17"
Acushnet 16.5″

Carver 16.5″
South Weymouth 16.5″
Brockton 16.4″
Dartmouth 16.0″
Kingston 16.0″
New Bedford 16.0″
East Freetown 15.5″
Hanson 15.5″
Oak Bluffs 15.5″
Marion 15.0″
Rochester 15.0″

East Harwich 14.5″
Fairhaven 14.5″
Mashpee Neck 14.5″
Plymouth 14.0″
South Plymouth 14.0″
Bourne (Capeside) 13.8″
Sandwich 13.5″
North Weymouth 13.5″
Taunton 13.3″

West Plymouth 13.3″
Freetown 13.2″
Bridgewater 13.0″
Harwich 13.0″
Holbrook 13.0″
Marstons Mills 13.0″
Pembroke 13.0″
Scituate 13.0″
West Harwich 13.0″
Westport 13.0″

Mansfield 12.5″
South Yarmouth 11.5″
Teaticket 11.5″
Assonet 11.0″
Yarmouthport 10.5″
Canton 10.0″
Franklin 10.0″
Brewster 9.5″

Walpole 9.2″
Attleboro 9.0″
Hull 9.0″
Wellfleet 9.0″
Foxboro 8.6″
Braintree 8.5″
Falmouth 8.5″
Framingham 8.4″
Beverly 8.3″
Dighton 8.0″
Dover 8.0″

Marblehead 8.0″
Natick 8.0″
Pocasset 8.0″
Wrentham 8.0″
Milford 7.8″
Mashpee 7.5″
Roslindale 7.5″
Somerset 7.2″
Everett 7.0″

Marblehead 8.0″
Natick 8.0″
Pocasset 8.0″
Wrentham 8.0″
Milford 7.8″
Mashpee 7.5″
Roslindale 7.5″
Somerset 7.2″
Everett 7.0″
Lynn 7.0″
Mendon 7.0″
Needham Heights 7.0″
Norwood 7.0″
South Chatham 7.0″

Danvers 6.8″
Topsfield 6.5″
Northbridge 6.5″
Malden 6.2″
Wakefield 6.2″
Gloucester 6.0″
Ipswich 6.0″
Peabody 6.0″
Nantucket 6.0″
Stoneham 6.0″
Saugus 6.0″

Hamilton 5.8″
Webster 5.8″
Arlington 5.5″
Littleton 5.5″
Reading 5.5″
Sudbury 5.5″
Waltham 5.5″
Northboro 5.2″
Leominster 5.1″

Sturbridge 5.0″
Lexington 4.9″
Wayland 4.5″
Boylston 4.1″
Billerica 4.0″
Burlington 4.0″
East Brewster 4.0″
Haverhill 4.0″
Hopkinton 4.0″
North Chelmsford 4.0″

Dracut 3.8″
Carlisle 3.7″
Blandford 3.5″
Westford 3.5″
Melrose 3.3″
East Boxford 3.0″
East Longmeadow 3.0″
Hubbardston 3.0″

Quincy 3.0″
Ware 3.0″
Ludlow 2.8″
Southwick 2.8″
Wilbraham 2.5″
Chicopee 2.0″

We like to get a picture of the more snowed-in cars. Mine would have won, but the pic was blurry.

Makes sense, at least today...

Dawn at the Bourne Bridge...

I tried a few mid-blizzard shots, but this was the least blurry one.

"No Lifeguard On Duty"

Yup, I shoot when I'm drivin'... I do have the courtesy to stop the car in the middle of the road first.

We even mess around with some video, below...

Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Thanksgiving Leftovers: Cranberry Harvest In Eastern Massachusetts

If you need more Thanksgiving before December hits, we have a dozen or so pictures of the local cranberry harvests. We're emptying the picture stash into this, so some may be blurry. 

You need more than one truck to harvest cranberries... one to store them, and one to, uhm, pump water and stuff.

Those trees could have helped us out by going all fall foliage, but No. I wonder if the farmer uses foliage color as a sort of harvest alarm, i.e. "when the oak turns scarlet, flood the bogs."

Those commercials for Ocean Spray should have more Cape Verdean crews in them.

We try to get all of the crews in our shots.

Add 25000000 pounds of sugar, boil, strain..... Voila! Cranberry Sauce for everyone in Belgium.

We're berry, berry happy that you chose to visit our humble site.

There's that machine without the two trucks attached to it.

The cranberries won the popular vote, but the water ruled the Electoral College.

Red tide

Blurry as hell, but kind of cool.

The closer-to-shore berries erected a Trump wall to keep the mid-bog berries from coming over and causing 9/11.

Any larger than this, and the pic gets reallllllly blurry

I'm not sure if the farmers or if Ocean Spray divides the red and white berries. I try to not bother the workers with questions when I trespass on their job site.

If they harvested in July, my Facebook profile picture would be my silhouette in those berries after I belly-flopped into them. Unfortunately, my first status update would read "being beaten by a Cape Verdean cranberry harvest crew."

Blood on the highway... oh wait, that's just a big cranberry stain, like on Gorbachev's head.

We tend to work Carver, Plymouth and Wareham heavily, as they sort of encircle our office.

We hope that you enjoyed our cranberry articles.

See you next year!