Why Are Sharks All Over the South Shore These Days?

OK, it's a misleading headline, and I did it on purpose.

Sometimes we headline-generating types try to assume the viewpoint of the common man who doesn't have a job which requires that he think about sharks for long periods of time. It's easier and more practical than having me try to write from the viewpoint of an actual expert who studied Marine Biology and has hours in the field. It also sets up a straw man for me to knock down.

This is important, because my last paying work as a writer where I wasn't my own boss was as a "Fantasy Football Consultant." You'll notice that, when the shark ate up that kid in Jaws, nobody was clamoring for Chief Brody to call in the Fantasy Football Consultant. Keep that in mind as I flesh out my theories for you.

Sharks are not "all over the South Shore," and it's not a case of them just being around "these days." Only the question mark at the end of the headline saves it from being an outright Lie.

Sharks pre-date humans in Massachusetts. The Wampanoags- who, whatever their faults may have been when dealing with the English, were much more environmentally reasonable than the Palefaces- never really developed Swimming as a mass hobby.  There may have been several reasons for that, but a top contender would be "the English hadn't fished Cape Cod Bay to exhaustion yet, and the larger fish stocks drew in both seals and their toothy predators."

Swimming didn't even catch on with Mr. White until a few hundred years ago, and it wasn't feasible to travel from inland to the beaches until the Industrial Revolution brought about trains and so forth. It wasn't long after the English pushed inland from the coast that a majority of people in America bore young who lived and died without even once thinking about a shark. Until the release of Jaws in the 1970s, the only sea-villains in entertainment were Pirates, Leviathans, U-Boats and the mighty White Whale.

Coastal people tended to work the seas, and sharks were just by-catch to them.  While they undoubtedly saw and perhaps even feared sharks, it was only something to worry about if the ship sank or if the Captain made you walk the plank. Remember, most of the time that man has taken to the seas was well before radios, distress calls and search planes. If your ship sank, you died, and you didn't make it back to shore to tell everyone how sharks ate the rest of the crew.

Sharks were in Cape Cod Bay long before 2010. If I remember to put it in, you can see a pic of the big Great White that was caught a few miles off of Duxbury in the 1930s. Two of the three fatal shark attacks in Massachusetts history happened off Scituate and in Boston Harbor. They went down in the 1800s and 1700s, respectively.

In between then and now, a few strange things happened. The waters off of Massachusetts, which were the first ones to be overfished by Europeans, had their fish stocks drop to very low levels. This was felt up the food chain, through the seals and right to Great White Sharks.
Cape Cod had a bounty on seals for a while, and this drove their numbers down markedly. Low seal totals meant that sharks brought their game elsewhere.

This happened as many areas of formerly isolated Massachusetts coastline were brought under development. It also coincided with the emergence of Beaching as the go-to summer activity. People began to develop formerly empty sections of Duxbury, Plymouth and what have you.

Fish stocks were plummeting, and reached all-time lows by the 1990s. The government intervened, catch limits and keeper sizes went into effect for both commercial and recreational fishermen, and fish gradually started coming back to our waters. This brought back the seals, who began showing up in notable numbers on Cape Cod around the turn of the century.

That's generally a good thing, nature-wise. However, it only took a few years for the sharks to figure out where the seals went, and they began arriving off the shores of Cape Cod in numbers that couldn't helped but be noticed.

It didn't take long for the sharks and seals to grow in number to where Suburbanization became necessary. You could see a seal sunning himself on Duxbury Beach in the 1970s, but it was an unusual thing. It became much less unusual after the century turned.

Likewise, only so many sharks can cruise a particular area. Monomoy, the primary seal and shark hangout, soon spread her apex predator bounty to Orleans, Wellfleet and Truro.  Unlike Monomoy, these are towns with people going to the beach. Truro, not Monomoy, caught the first two shark attacks of the modern era.

We know by shark tagging that the Great Whites summer here, and then head to Dixie for the winter.... regular snowbirds, they are. They sort of follow the Gulf Stream back up here every summer.  To a shark moving north along the US coast, Cape Cod is going to be sort of a roadbock. The seals keep them hanging around once they get here. Competition moves them up along the Cape.

Once they hit Provincetown, they have a decision to make. North equals open sea, East equals open sea and West equals the lovely curved shoreline of Cape Cod Bay. For a fish that primarily eats shore-hugging seals, there's really no debate.

Seals and then sharks have rounded the corner and are now occupying Cape Cod Bay. It's ironic, because one of the selling points of South Shore beaches is "no Cape traffic."

It's more of a trickle than a flood, which makes a lie of the "all over the South Shore" part of the headline. You can learn a lot by judging the results found when sharks are tagged. Monomoy, which is sort of the seals' capitol city, had 14000 shark detection buoy pingings last summer. Duxbury and Plymouth combined for about 200.

Granted, Dr. Gregory Skomal (the shark-tagging guy) focuses his efforts out on Monomoy. I don't think he has ever been tagging in Cape Cod Bay. The South Shore does have shark buoys, however, and these buoys show that sharks are coming from Cape Cod to the beaches of the South Shore. Plymouth was the site of the last shark attack in Massachusetts.

Two bad factors ("bad" for people on the South Shore who are afraid of sharks) kick in at this point.

1) There is nothing to stop the sharks and seals from populating Cape Cod Bay

and

2) It's actually a pretty cool place for seals (and the sharks who eat them) to hang out.

Other than carnivore whales and larger Great Whites, the list of creatures willing to f*ck with a Great White Shark is a small one. Not many of these creatures (Orcas and the like) end up in Cape Cod Bay. The only regular inhabitant of Cape Cod Bay who could kill them is a human. They have a free hand in this town, as the former Sheriff of Lago once said.

The South Shore also has long stretches of uninhabited or sparsely inhabited beach. Duxbury Beach is mostly uninhabited. Plymouth has a lot of coastal housing perched on towering sand cliffs, making it hard for those residents to just trot down to the beach. Seals can come ashore on either spot without much concern over human interaction... I mean, it's tough to sun yourself properly when people keep trying to get you to bounce a ball on your nose, yaknowwhati'msayin'?

Both species could easily get to likin' it here... and there's no reason for them to leave.

The South Shore is populated by people who aren't used to sharks being off of their coasts. I am no superhero type at all, but as a child of the 1970s on Duxbury Beach, I would have saw no threat at all in jumping off of a boat where people had been fishing with big bloody mackerel chunks all day and swimming 100 yards to shore. Even in my 30s, I'd have guessed that Smoking would be the one thing that would kill me over a long swim from a boat to shore.

That is no longer the case. If you view summer as 100 days, like Cape Cod does, Plymouth and Duxbury's numbers show that there was a shark off of each beach every day of last summer... and those were only the ones they got tags into off Monomoy. Perhaps only Poseidon, God and Aquaman know how many Great White Sharks are actually in Cape Cod Bay.

While the threat of a shark attack is still minor if not minuscule, the threat is much greater than it was 40 years ago. The risk is little... but little things mean a lot in a game where the loser is Devoured.

Great White Shark Sighting Closes Beaches In Plymouth

Beaches are closed for swimming in Plymouth after a Great White Shark was spotted by a fisherman yesterday.

Manomet Point, which is the sight of the last shark attack in Massachusetts (remember the kayak-eating shark?), scored another shark yesterday. It's like Monomoy West out there!

A lobsterman (Bob Ward) pulling up his pots had a "Hooper drives the boat, Chief" moment when a large porker followed his pot to the surface, perhaps briefly mistaking the moving pot for a seal. He was about a half-mile off of a packed-with-bathers Manomet Point.

He called the local gendarme, and beaches were closed for swimming soon after.

Beaches are also close for swimming today. I'm presently not sure if the beaches themselves are closed.

The Atlantic Shark Conservancy verified the shark's presence, which may or may not mean that the shark spotted was tagged by Dr. Gregory Skomal.

We'll get back to you if the shark eats someone.

Cranberry County Magazine thanks this shark for showing up just after we did our Summer Shark Spectacular article.

The Top Ten Places To Get Attacked By A Shark In Massachusetts

Before we start the discussion, we want you understand a few facts about the likelihood of suffering a shark attack.

You're significantly more likely to win the Powerball than you are to suffer a shark attack.... shoot, like 30-45 people win the Powerball every year, which is about 50 years worth of American shark attack deaths. More people have put Lindsay Lohan on the D Train to Pound Town than have been killed by a shark this century.

If you're worrying about a shark attack, stop. You need to instead prepare for the lightning bolt strike which- however unlikely as it may be- is much more likely to kill you than a shark is.

This "Top Ten Places" list goes to 10 even though we have had less than 10 shark attacks in Massachusetts white-guy history.

If you ignore reputations and just crunch the actual numbers, I would not be at all surprised to find that the shark which has killed the most Americans is the Loan Shark.

That said, being devoured out of nowhere by a station wagon-sized monster with 250 teeth is nothing that you want to experience. If it can happen, and even if the odds are as slight as can be, there must be steps you can take which will lower those odds in your favor.

One step we can give you, beyond obvious ones like "Never swim if you have just been stabbed," "Do nothing at all seal-like" and "Get out of the water if you hear alternating tuba notes start playing" are simple ones that you probably already know. If you don't know those rules already, there isn't much that we can do for you.

What we can do for you is tell you which beaches to avoid, and why.

1) Monomoy Island, Chatham

If you need the Why for this one, just do a Google Map of the area and zoom in. You'll soon see little black marks all along the shoreline, thousands of them. Those are seals.

Seals are shark food, and everywhere the seal went, the shark was shore sure to go.

This is the gold mine if you like Great White Sharks. It's also a rotten place to swim, especially if you have even one seal-like trait.

Chatham in general is very lucky that sharks don't like People Food. It remains the only viable location on Cape Cod for a sharknado to happen.


2)  Ballston Beach, Truro

In spite of her fearsome reputation, the only recent shark attack on Cape Cod was a 2012 attack on a boogie boarder off of this Truro sandspot.

The victim was 400 yards offshore, near where the seals hang out, and paddling around in a manner that he had no way of knowing would register as "injured seal" to the monster shark swimming under him.

He managed to kick it away before it killed him. He described kicking it as akin to kicking "an underwater refrigerator, with skin." It maimed his leg.


3) South Beach, Edgarton

One of... no, scratch that... THE most famous shark attack of all time went down here. The victim was Chrissy Watkins. She was torn to pieces by Bruce, who is the world's most famous shark.

The fact that the attack which I'm referencing is the opening scene from Jaws will in no way prevent us from ranking this beach right near the top.

Joseph Sylvia State Beach in Oak Bluffs is where the Alex Kintner attack went down, but that one didn't have a nude 1970's chick.

4) Nauset Light Beach, Eastham

The whole run of the Outer Cape is a high risk area, as the sharks who get bored of Chatham can head up the coast for a little variety.

This is one of those beaches that you see mentioned on the news with "was closed after a 15 foot shark was spotted offshore" following it.



5) Manomet Point, Plymouth

This is where the (current) most recent shark attack went down. A porker rose up out of the water and chomped on a kayak, dumping the two pretty kayakers into the water. Concluding that humans taste like a kayak, the shark swam away and left the girls unharmed.

That's a pretty impressive resume line, which is why beaches in Chatham and Wellfleet are looking up at America's Hometown.



6) South Beach, Chatham

When you get attacked by a shark here, he's usually not pleased. When he got his rooming assignment, he was like "Yeah! South Beach! Miami, here I come!" Some older shark then has to take him aside and tell him "You're thinking of South Beach, Miami. You're actually going to South Beach, Massachusetts."

When he arrives, he's pissed. "Hangry," as the kids say.

7) Marconi Beach, Wellfleet

When a shark gets a taste for People Food, you have to start worrying about extenuating circumstances.

In this case, the two areas of concern are 1) "Marconi" looks like "Macaroni." Sharks are unique in that they can make American Chop Suey with actual Americans if they have access to lots of macaroni.

Also, 2) is that "Marconi" implies Italian food. It is safe to imply that he is a picky eater, as he travels up the entire East Coast via tail propulsion to sup on a particular sort of Seal. Developing a taste for Italian food isn't really much of a stretch compared to that.


8) Hollywood Beach, Mattapoisett

Holly Wood (aka Hollywood) Beach is where the last fatal shark attack in Massachusetts went down, in 1936. A boy swimming out to meet a boat had most of his leg bitten off by a juvenile Great White Shark.

Holly Wood should be #2 or #3, maybe even #1A.... but we're going on 80 years there, and you can't live on your past in my magazine, folks.

No, sharks aren't afraid of New Bedford and Fall River. You can just shush....


9) Duxbury Beach, Duxbury

Duxbury seems to have a very lively and burgeoning shark population. She has an impressive stretch of uninhabited beach for seals to crash out on, and the bleedover of seals (and, following the seals, sharks) from Cape Cod looks to up their numbers.

If you're a shark hanging around at Race Point and you decide to see how the seal action is if you swim west for a while, the first beach you'll come to will be Duxbury Beach.

Added bonus: Duxbury Bay is a breeding ground for Sand Tiger Sharks. They're just the friendliest 8 foot flesh-eating shark (with a look which belies the fact that they are not physically equipped to hunt or eat humans) that you'll ever see.


10) Egypt Beach, Scituate

Scituate had the second most recent fatal shark attack in Massachusetts history. It was about 5 miles offshore, I chose Egypt Beach at random. The attack went down in the 1800s, which is why they are ranked #10 instead of #1.

In a story that really should be a movie, a shark swamped a smaller boat and devoured the occupant. The victim's brother returned the next day and caught what is believed to be the same shark. He then put it on display in Boston, and charged people a dime to see it.

Honorable Mention:

- Boston Harbor (home of the first shark attack in colonized New England history)

- Rockport (a fisherman was bitten by a shark here, but he survived)

- West Island, Fairhaven (beaches were closed after a fisherman spotted a shark 50 yards away from swimmers)

- Fall River (one of the two fatal Rhode Island attacks went down in Bristol Harbor, about a mile from her nearest Massachusetts neighbor)

- Nahant (a fisherman was bitten in 1922)

- Cold Storage Beach, Truro (James Orlowski had his leg mauled by a shark in 1996. No one believed him at the time, saying "Shark attacks don't happen on Cape Cod," and intimating that he might have crossed a really ornery bluefish. He got the last word when his attacker was listed as a shark in the Shark Attack Database.

- Dartmouth (another guy who says a shark bit him, but everyone was telling him it was a seal... notable in that the victim didn't go to the hospital until infection set in... which is why St. Elizabeth's Hospital in Brighton, who treated this victim, has had more shark attack experience than more likelier places like Falmouth Hospital or Jordan Hospital)

- Gloucester (sharks follow fishing boats)

- New Bedford (see above, plus they have had shark sightings/beach closings)

- Horse Neck Beach (Westport (has been closed after shark sightings)

- Brant Rock, Marshfield (seal-friendly rockpile offshore)

- Buttermilk/Little Buttermilk Bay, Bourne (a 9 foot shark entered this bay and hung out a while in the 1990s)

Shark Week: How To Not Get Eaten By A Shark

I don't know about you, but it is the opinion of this column that the worst way to die naturally would be a shark attack. I use "naturally" differently than you might, but you get the idea. You are seized out of nowhere, dragged beneath the sea and torn to pieces by a torpedo with teeth. 

It probably wouldn't happen, but your decapitated head may retain consciousness just long enough as it floats away from the rest of you that you could watch yourself being eaten. It would be the fish paying you back for all of those fish sticks you ate as a kid.

From what I can see of how this magazine makes money (don't ask me how, Jessica does most of the thinking here), I can't afford to have anyone reading this website die. Even with money off the table, I don't want to see anyone get eaten.

So, it's on me to help keep you off the menu. Before I do so, I want to stress just how rare a shark attack is. We've had about 10 or so in Massachusetts since the white man came, three of which were fatal. If you throw in the rest of New England, you get those numbers up to 5 or 6 deaths out of 20 attacks. I think North Carolina has had that many this week, and even their numbers add up to "shark attacks are very rare."

The USA as a whole has had 1976 shark attacks in about the last 115 years or so. That number includes Carolina, Hawaii, Florida and California, who get the majority of our attacks. New England is a minor player in this field, and the field in question is called Anomaly Park.

While I don't have the numbers handy, I'd say that about there were 40-52 times when someone won the Megabucks last year. We had one shark attack in that same year. So, it is 50 times more likely that you'll drop a dollar at the 7-11 and someone will hand you back $1.5 million than it is that a shark will attack you. Adam Lanza killed more New Englanders in 10 minutes than every Yankee shark ever, as did Al Qaeda.

However, any gambler will tell you that there is no sure thing. If the chance- however small- of a shark attack exists, it just makes sense to try to lower your odds. You don't have to be at 0% if some sucker near you is only at 20%, especially if he's a fatty (we'll get to that in a minute) or has an open wound.

It's a lot like the smarter guy said to the dumber guy when they were about to flee from an attacking bear. "I don't have to run faster than the bear, I just have to run faster than You."

We'll mix in tips from experts and officials with some of my own observations and inclinations. I don't have any expert training, other than my research on historical shark attacks for a previous article. 

Never Swim With Seals, And Do Nothing At All Seal-Like

One thing that our last two shark attacks had in common was that the victims were messing around near seals. Sharks eat seals, as eating seals is the whole reason they're hanging around Cape Cod Bay.

There wasn't that much time between when Americans first began recreating by the sea and when we had our first fatal modern shark attack. One of the reasons we haven't had one since 1936 is that we had a bounty on seals. Fishermen hate seals, who compete for the same fish. Up until 1962, you could kill seals and get cheddar for it.... not too shabby, as long as you aren't a seal. 

There was 40,000 bounties paid in Maine and Massachusetts between 1888 and 1962, when Massachusetts stopped paying bounties. Maine stopped in 1945.  Experts say that 70-130K seals were killed once you factor in data fraud, boat strikes, and so forth. That's a lot of shark food exiting the ecosystem.

The region suffered a huge decline in seal activity,and they only really started turning up in large numbers on Cape Cod around the turn of this century. It, in turn, took the sharks about a decade to figure it out.

Humans are pretty easy pickings for a shark if he wanted to have some People Food for a change. We can barely move at all in the water. Even a crippled, drunken, lazy shark could swim circles around Michael Phelps. Other than the slow-motion punch of an underwater boxer, we have no natural defenses against the shark. We're a free lunch, at least from June through September in these parts.

The fact that we have so few attacks means that sharks aren't interested in us as a food source. Neither of our recent human-attacking sharks was killed in the attack... they just went away on their own. They had no interest in continuing the meal.

So, you can really lower your chances of attack by not swimming or boating near the shark's primary food source. Seals are fun, cute, and can even be friendly. They also do tricks, like the one where they disappear faster than you can if a shark comes into the area. Don't be the guy left standing when sharks and seals play Duck Duck Goose. 

If seals are around, we can not stress strongly enough that you should make like a TV show and be St. Elsewhere.

Never Swim Near Fishing Boats (Or Fishing Men)

Sharks also have a tendency to follow fishing boats. I suppose they are after table scraps or something, who knows? 

Two of the regions's fatal shark attacks involved people swimming to or from a fishing boat. Two others involved sharks swamping smaller boats and devouring the occupant.

Sharks are attracted to several things associated with fishing. Fish, naturally, leads off the list. Injured fish writhing in pain on a fishing hook are also on the list, as an injured fish means an easy meal to a shark. Fishing can be bloody, and blood in the water is like doing a rain dance for a shark. Smarter sharks may know that a fishing boat will throw away smaller fish, who then become almost like delivery food at that point.

Don't Go Over Your Head

Almost all of New England's shark attacks involved the shark hitting someone in deeper (10 feet or more) water. Massachusetts doesn't have a shallow-water shark attack fatality on her books, and most of the non-fatal attacks involved fishing boats or surfcasting.

Sharks like to come up under their prey for the Hit. None of our shark attack victims had any idea there was a shark around until it attacked them. Only one attack I read of had the shark coming at the victim in a manner where witnesses reported seeing a dorsal fin before the strike.

As we just saw with the recent Chatham stranding/rescue of a Great White, they do go close to shore. However, the very rare shark attack becomes very, very rare if you stay in the shallows.

Shark Repellent

If you can get Bat Shark Repellent like Batman has, do so. He's smart, and his repellent probably works.

Scientists began work on shark repellents after WWII, when shipwrecks like that of the USS Indianapolis saw hundreds of people eaten by sharks. They've been working at it ever since, and generally can't come up with anything that is 100% efficient. They've tried electricity, chemicals and even magnetism.

It may or may not amuse you to know that Coppertone was one of the big investors in shark repellent research. Your sun tan lotion may have been doing double duty if someone hit the right chemical signature in the repellent lab. SP-40 may have had a more Sharkish meaning to it had they stuck it out.

They did find one thing that repels almost all sharks all the time... dead sharks. Fishermen and scientists both agree that sharks don't like to be around dead sharks. Glandular secretions from dead sharks are the current focus of shark repellent research.

Of course, that was in a 1994 article I found. I assume that someone from Coppertone pointed out that A) you can't swim around with a dead shark, and B) "Honey, would you rub the lotion with the decaying shark liver oil into my shoulders?" sort of takes the fun out of sun-tan-lotion application.

Swim With People Who Are Fatter Than You

Sharks around New England aren't sick, lost, old or demented. They are exactly where they are supposed to be and where they have always been. However, one attacking a human is generally making a mistake.

The mistake is thinking that the human is a seal/tuna/sea lion/sea turtle or whatever else it eats. It's unavoidable, and the shark- to his credit- usually breaks off the attack once he realizes his mistake.

For a fish with such a ravenous reputation, sharks don't eat that much. They expend a lot of energy attacking, and risk significant injury. They want the most bang for their buck when it comes to Epic Meal Time.

That means smoking a Fatty.

Fat people swim slower, and look more like seals than thinner people. They have more flesh, which makes them less crunchy (sharks don't do crunchy if they can avoid it) to the shark, as well as more filling.

I actually asked Dr. Gregory Skomal about this. He did admit that it made perfect sense, but that no research had been done on the subject.

This is a steroid-powered version of the Don't Ever Swim Alone rule. Sharks will pick off soloists if they can. However, given a choice, they will always Super-size their meals. Remember this, use it to your advantage, and waste little pity on the run-stopper.

Avoid Guido-like Bejewelment

I'm not sure if there is a noun for what I'm trying to say there, hence the odd sub-title. I had no way to tie Only Built 4 Cuban Linx to anything sharky.

Things like necklaces and bracelets shine sort of funny in the water, and will look like fish scales to a shark in the wrong conditions. Fish are right at the top of the shark's menu, and he may come closer to see if you are worth biting. You want to avoid being in this calculation if at all possible.

Experts say only the filthy,polluted waters of Boston Harbor prevent more shark attacks from happening at Revere Beach, which has a lot of guidos running around. Boston Harbor had an attack in colonial days,and a Boston kid was the meal in 1936.

Be Local

Just as "Swim with fat people" is probably my advice and not the official advice offered by experts, this one also springs exclusively from my research.

Here's a list of who was bitten in Massachusetts shark attacks... guy from England here courting a woman, a guy from Swampscott, a Boston kid, a Nahant local, a bunch of tourists chartering a boat, a NYC guy, a pair of Truro rental guys and two Plymouth girls... and it didn't bite the Plymouth girls, just their kayak.

You see the pattern. 

It's not just a Cape Cod thing, where there are masses of tourists. The last fatal attacks were in Mattapoisett, Scituate, and Boston. Sharks seem to go out of their way to avoid locals, even passing on the two Plymouth girls (who were cute, I might add... I don't have records of the charisma of the other victims, but it may or may not be important) after knocking them both into the water.

Maybe we have Spider Sense from living near the water, and we can subconsciously read the signs of imminent danger. Maybe "exotic" people taste better. Maybe tourists lack tans that locals have, and stand out more in the water. Who knows?

What I do know is that sharks seem to favor out-of-towners.

The Other White Meat

I so wanted to find a racial trend I could exploit for laughs here, but I was amazed to find that sharks- at least our sharks here in New England- attack pretty much along the demographic averages regarding skin color. We've had about 20 attacks in our post-colonial history, and maybe 2 were on black people.

The number might be one, I'm not 100% sure of a Connecticut attack. Even with just one Black Attack, you have to crunch the numbers with the knowledge that white people beach out more than blacks do, at least around here. "Like I need a tan," my black roomie used to tell me.

I think the sharks have bitten at least one Jew. He may have been feasted upon by a shark who wished for a kosher meal. He was taken on the Sabbath, I believe.

Anyhow, your race or your God won't save you if Ol' Toothy thinks you look tasty. To my knowledge, he doesn't give a damn about such things. We all look alike to apex predators.

Swim During The Day

Sharks attack with power and speed,but they hunt via stealth. They also don't really sleep, to my knowledge. 

While they hunt all day, they are more active and more successful at night. The shadows work in their favor, and they work against the prey. 

What weak and pitiful defenses you have in the water vanish at night. Even if it swims around you with his fin out of the water, you won't see him coming.  They started Jaws the way they did for a reason.

In Conclusion,,,,

Follow these rules, and you'll have mad bread to break up. 

If not, 17 feet on the wake up....

Shark Week: Ol' Toothy, The Kayak Eatin' Shark Of Manomet And Duxbury

The South Shore was rocked last summer when a Great White Shark made an appearance off of Duxbury Beach, and then the whole world was rocked when, like a day or two later, he attacked a kayak off of Manomet.

I'm assuming it's a He, for no good reason at all. Boats are girls, sharks are boys. That's how I work.

Shark attacks aren't supposed to happen here in Cranberry County. That is Cape Cod we see on the news with sharks just offshore, The Discovery Channel had no interest in Duxbury, and Manomet is lucky to get on TV during Pilgrim/Thanksgiving shows.

Why the disrespect?

For one, we don't have the Outer Cape's seal population. We have seals, a whole bunch of them, but Chatham is Seal City. We're just a suburb. Sharks go where the seal meat is plentiful, and there is plenty more of it out in Monomoy.

Two, our shark may have been a rogue. I don't mean a Communist or a child molester, just a big fish who should have been off Cape Cod instead of the South Shore. At least, that's what the TV tells us.

Also, I suppose a version of Mayor Vaughn's barracuda speech applies here. If you say "Manomet," it means something to everyone on the South Shore and nothing to anyone else. If you say "Cape Cod," you have the nation's attention.

As you can see, Cape Cod Bay was awash with the blood of the non-believers.... OK, just kidding, that's a cranberry bog.

Are we in the media somewhat responsible for the public being shocked when a porker turned up near the Manomet Lobster Pound?  Mayhap we are, child, mayhap we are....

I say "we," but I mean "they." Dr. Gregory Skomal, the shark expert with all the shark tags you see on TV, can vouch for me. I was pestering him about sharks on the South Shore long before the entertainment went down off Plymouth, even about Duxbury in particular. I was so far ahead of the curve, I got scoliosis from it.

Still, there was a WTF reaction locally when the shark arrived off Plymouth. People couldn't deal. We, the media, the people who gave you the bread-n-milk panics when an inch of snow falls, had left the public hanging. You didn't know something you should have known, and it was something lethal.

Remember, it wasn't that long ago that you had trouble catching striper off of these beaches. We went from 0 to 60 rather quickly when Ol' Toothy had himself a bite of that girl's kayak last summer. Suddenly, we had mad shark respeck! It's also quite a jolt to the ecosystem.

In one week, what may quite possibly have been one single fish changed the game on the Irish Riviera. We had a new apex predator (our previous champ was either the coyote or the horsefly, and the meanest thing in our waters were bluefish), and he was an A Lister. He also had a taste for People Food.

One thing that didn't change was the disrespect. Dr. Skomal never left Chatham, even though we had the shark who was into the Other White Meat. If one fish deserved a tag last summer, it was Ol' Toothy. He never got one.

Even though he tried to eat some of my readers, I like Ol' Toothy. My amity (groan) for this fish is irrational. I like to think that he is the only shark who used Cape Cod Bay. He, for lack of a better term, is a local, a native. One of us.

In 1637, old Plimoth got a bit too crowded for one Myles Standish, so he walked a few Myles through the primeval forest and founded Duxbury. Sure, everyone who was anyone was in Plimoth... which is why Myles went to Duxbury. I like to think that Ol' Toothy was on that sort of trip with Chatham. He went out to the country.

This is why I wanted a tag in Ol' Toothy. I looked in his eyes and saw a Local. Maybe he's a snowbird, maybe he isn't... but what's to stop him from coming back?

I don't know if he came through the Cape Cod Canal or if he looped around Provincetown. What I do know is that sharks don't get enough credit for their brains.

Think about it. They live in water. It all looks the same. Sharks have invented no GPS systems. Yet, the sharks know enough to head south for the winter, and to return to where the seals are in the summer. I know homeless people who aren't that sharp.

Ol' Toothy knows all that, but he knows something else, too. He knows how to get around Provincetown, or through the Canal. Rather than maybe fighting for territory on a crowded beach in Chatham, he has all of the South Shore to himself. The seals haven't diffused here from Chatham in great numbers yet, but there are more than enough to feed a forward-thinking shark devoted to a more leisurely existence than the one to be had in the rat race off Monomoy.

If the seals are in short supply, there is always a kayak to tip over. God shall provide....

Yup, my gut tells me that we haven't seen the last of Ol' Toothy.