Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Tummy Porn: Popeyes Louisiana Kitchen



Normally, we'll aim a little higher with Tummy Porn than a B level fast food franchise. We take the sacred responsibilities of being your Tummy Pornographers very seriously, and it makes the whole region look bad if the food critics get all worked up over a chicken shack.

However, since the region is covered with fast food franchise outlets, it starts to creep into our territory when we get a chance to show a reader something that they may have not ever seen before.

We were in Fall River on some other business, so we decided to Tummy Porn our way into the Popeyes (Al Copeland, the original owner, claimed during his Chapter 11 proceedings that he was too poor to afford an apostrophe) Louisiana Kitchen on Pleasant Street in the great US city and port of Fall River.


Popeyes (named not for the famous Sailor Man, but instead for Detective Popeye Doyle from the film The French Connection, and, no, I'm not making that up) was founded in Louisiana in 1972. The original founder was a rags to riches street kid who, when Popeyes made him a millionaire, refused to join the local gentry... kind of a sin down there.

This earned him numerous battles with the local elite. Vampire Diaries author Anne Rice couldn't stand the mention of the man after he bought an iconic locale from the Lestat canon (the "Let me pass now from fiction into legend" building) and put up a garish eatery on the grounds. Other gentry hated Copeland's hyper-extravagant Christmas displays, which the TODAY show listed as #3 in America.

Popeyes expanded in the 1970s and 1980s to the point where there were 1500 franchises in the US by 2010. They slugged though bankruptcy in 1991 and went public in 2001.


Popeyes doesn't stray too far from the KFC motif practiced by rival Col. Harland Sanders.

The same limits that keep us from properly describing fine restaurants will also keep this section of the article from spooling out too far. Their chicken isn't too far from KFC's, although they have a spicy option that is favored by many customers. Jambalya is offered, not something you see at the Burger King. They also serve a sub that Southerners call a Po' Boy, in shrimp, chicken and catfish genres.

Yes, catfish. It's good, trust me.

OK, don't trust me, I got chicken. I've had a profound distaste for Catfish since I saw a monster show featuring catfish in the Mekong River that would eat a Khmer Rouge now and then. They may very well be why Charlie don't surf.


We went simple, which is always wise to do with fast food. It's a simple menu, which helped us in that regard.

I never actually expect to go to a Popeyes, so I never really pay attention to Annie The Chicken Queen, a sort of matriarch spokeswoman who stars in their commercials. This left me a bit unprepared going in, a mistake I won't let happen again.

Depending on where you clock in on spice preference, Popeyes lives on about the same level of Culinary Hell that Colonel Sanders rules. I could flip a coin between the two, personally.

I was going to go for the Wild Pepper Tenderloins, but the kid was with me, and I didn't want him bursting lava on the way home to Buzzards Bay.


Popeyes has cajun fries, potatoes with cajun gravy, macaroni and cheese and about what you'd expect from such a place.

The kids running the place were very nice, always a plus, especially in Fall River.

I should add that Popeyes is no worse cold than it is hot, I wolfed down my leftovers in a minute!

I should add that, at least from what I see on those Internets, you can get beaten up for no reason in Popeyes. We like when the chicken is battered... not us.

They also run out of chicken during special promotions now and then, which is often a point of contention with regular customers.


I go to chicken shack fights only when I have to cover up for my poor chicken pics.

Familiarity with Popeyes Lousiana Kitchen may not be an issue for you. I have no idea whether or even if they would be able to expand into the South Shore and Cape Cod. I'd like to see Duxbury or Sandwich get a franchise.

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