Great White Shark Sighting Just Off Of Duxbury Beach

My man C.L. Smooth was at White Horse Beach for this picture, but that sign may need to go up off Duxbury Beach this morning...

It's swim at you own risk time in Deluxebury, as an as-yet-unconfirmed sighting of a Great White Shark went down off of Ocean Road North this morning.

The sighting was made by a boater. I could not confirm if it was a more sea-wary Fisherman type of boater. Either way, there's a 10-15 foot fish close enough to shore that the witness was able to assign a street name to his report.

Many fish are mistaken for the Great White. Basking Sharks are common off Duxbury Beach, and usually show up around this time of year, too. They are actually larger than Great Whites, and an inexperienced observer or even a good one who got a hurried look at it could make a classification mistake. They eat nothing but plankton.

If you can see the dorsal fin, here's how you tell a Great White Shark from a Basking Shark. The GWS fin is pointier, like a surfboard, and has a sharp tip. The dorsal fin of a Basking Shark is much more rounded, and looks like the end of an ironing board. The dorsal fin of the Basking Shark will also flop around limply as the shark turns in the water. The GWS, on the other hand, is always on that Cialis tip.

The sighting could also be an Ocean Sunfish, which can get up to 10 feet or so. The video with the Boston guy cursing at a sea monster involved a sunfish.

Dolphins and even whales can also be mistaken for a GWS, and are common enough in Duxbury's waters.

Also, keep in mind that the guy who is telling you about Basking Sharks and Sunfish is sitting comfortably onshore in Bourne. The guy who actually saw the fish in question is saying "Great White Shark."

Either way, the Duxbury Harbormaster is advising you to stay out of the waters off of Duxbury this morning. He sent some boats out to investigate the sighting, but he found nothing. The Atlantic White Shark Conservancy did not detect this shark on their tagged-shark detection buoys.

As my Doctor told me once.... "It's the law of the sea, they said. Civilization ends at the waterline. After that, we all enter the food chain, and not always right at the top."

We have several reporters embedded in the region, and will update you when we have some more information.

Be careful out there, my friends. This magazine can not afford to lose any readers.

UPDATE.... he's hanging around, he just set off the shark detector buoy at 2:42 PM today.

Details Emerging In "Grand Theft Auto: Duxbury" Shootings

A shooting in Duxbury is a rare, rare event. Two shootings is even more off the chain. Three is absurd. What and why?

Lucas McPherson, for some reason that even he may not know, got in the Impala, drove to Duxbury, and spent part of Saturday night playing Grand Theft Auto: Duxbury with real bullets and real people. By the time the cops got a hold of him, he had shot at three people.

His first shooting was on Tremont Street, where he shot at a car as it passed him. He then went up Tobey Garden, where he shot a dog-walker. Both were hospitalized for non-life-threatening wounds.

At some point in his travels, he fired on a second vehicle. That person didn't report it immediately... Duxbury is the sort of town where you assume that gunfire is your car backfiring. I'd imagine that this victim came home, told her husband to fix her muffler, went to bed, got up, turned on the news, remembered the "backfire," walked out to the car, saw bullet holes and then fainted.

I may have it twisted somewhat, but the Duxbury Police saw the car speeding away after the first shooting (but before it was reported?), but lost it. They caught up to it after the Tobey Garden shooting, and took the suspect in.

His weapon of choice was a shotgun, which police found in his car.

For all the talk of cops being brutal, let it be known that Lucas jumped out of the car and went after the police with a hunting knife. Instead of killing him (which I would have done, most likely with however many bullets are in a police gun), they used the Tazer. He went after two officers at the station, too.

Duxbury cops aren't exactly battle-hardened city cops, which only speaks more of size of their Grapefruits when they bring the villain in alive. Props to the cops!

Lucas has more charges than my ex-wife's credit card. Among them are:

3 counts of Assault and Battery with a dangerous weapon
1 count of assault with a dangerous weapon
3 counts of attempted murder
1 count of discharging a firearm within 500 feet of a dwelling
1 count of carrying a firearm without a license
2 counts of malicious damage to a motor vehicle
2 counts of assault and batter on a police officer
1 count of resisting arrest

He may be doing a bit of time, in a jail, in the rubber room, or perhaps both at some point. He is presently a guest of the Sheriff at the Plymouth County House Of Corrections.

So, that's basically what happened. The one thing we need to know is Why?

Lucas McPherson is from Presque Isle, Maine. He has no criminal record.

Here's what my lawyer and I hope is his Facebook page. There's no manifesto or anything. He likes dirt bikes, may have worked as a caddy or a landscaper, listened to the now-ominous Rooney And The Revolvers rock band, and he may have liked to blaze the cheeba-cheeba. That's what I got off of his Facebook page.

I scrolled through his whole FB friends list, ad didn't see anyone from Duxbury on it... so we can table any "Who invited THAT guy over??" discussions for the time being. For all that we know, he may have just pulled off of the highway at random.

There's no Duxbury, Maine town where he could have had a grudge with someone and then had an unfortunate GPS error occur which led him to Massachusetts. There is a Duxbury, Vermont... the only place in America where the dogcatcher is elected, a fact which most likely has no bearing on this case.

Anyhow, that's what we know so far. We'll give you an update when we learn more.

Gunfire Erupts In Duxbury

What the fuhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh?

For the second time in recent memory, there has been a shooting in Duxbury.

Details are sketchy, but a man in a car was randomly shooting people as he wheeled around the swanky South Shore suburb.

A man was shot as he drove past a car on Tobey Garden, and another one was shot as he walked his dog. I'm hearing "shotgun," "Impala, Maine plates," "non-life-threatening injuries" and "they almost had him after shooting #1, and got him right after shooting #2."

Duxbury's finest already have the man (25 y/o Lucas McPherson) in custody, so you can go about your business, citizens.

See more from FOX-25.

Duxbury is normally a quiet town. The only shooting is of Bull.

They did have a rapper (Benzino) get shot recently.

"It's getting to be like Brockton-by-the-sea," as Cape Codders say of Hyannis or Wareham now and then.

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