Sunday, June 19, 2016

Join Doug The Quahog For Quahog Day!


Everybody knows Punxsatawney Phil, even if they don't know how to spell it. He's the groundhog from Pennsylvania who comes out of his little hidey-hole and tells you how many weeks of winter we have left.

Not as many people know the equally important Doug the Quahog.

Doug is a Cape Cod quahog who has somehow evolved the ability to:

1) speak to a human

and

2) live eternally

and

3) live comfortably on dry land

and

4) predict beach weather.


He speaks only to Captain Johnny Quahog, who met Doug at a raw bar on Cape Cod. Doug was able to communicate with Johnny, and the effect was such that Johnny assumed a Minuteman persona and serves as Doug's mouthpiece.

Doug premiered on a summer day when the local TV weathergirl called for a rainy weekend, and Doug disagreed in public. One sunny tourist weekend later, Cape Cod had a new mascot.

Doug has ruled the Quahog Day holiday with an iron fist valve ever since, escorted by Capt. Quahog, the Quahog security team (much like a Batman villain, Doug has clam-themed sidekick names, a la "Littleneck," "Razor," "Shuck" and a guy known only as "The Santuit Steamer.") and a bevy of celebrity wommin'.

At varying times, Doug has been tied to various starlets with Cape Cod connections. They say that Taylor Swift bought the Hyannis Port house to be Doug. Lady Gaga impulsively purchased a Nantucket property after a night out with the Mighty Mollusk.  Local songbird Siobhan Magnus dug Doug. Salma Hayek drove out to see Doug while filming Grown-Ups, and  Jessica Biel spent a summer filming on Cape Cod concurrently serving as Doug's Summer Catch. While he never said anything about Jackie Kennedy himself, there was talk around town that he had spent some time with her intimately.

As you can see in the photo below, Doug rocked last summer in the company of teen queen Selena Gomez.


Doug's weather forecasting accuracy shames that of any Amish country rodent. It presently hovers around 103%.

The key is understanding that Doug sometimes has a different definition of "good beach day" than the one vacationers use. This adds a Monkey's Paw element to the forecast.

It isn't easy to do. For instance, one year saw Doug begin to blow forecasts. His accuracy rate plummeted. Scientists were brought in from Woods Hole. They eventually figured out that Doug enjoys tropical storms, and when tropical storms were factored in, Doug's accuracy returned to Infallible levels.

Since then, Doug has also been used to predict tropical storms that will damage Cape Cod. He again went against local forecasters in 1991, and was the only local prognosticator to call the Perfect Storm.

Doug wants the citizenry to know that Quahog Day is tomorrow. You can blow off work from any Cape Cod business without being fired if you are going to Quahog Day. You can skip school without a doctor's note to go to Quahog Day. If your wife or husband won't go to Quahog Day with you, you can take a Mistress or Bull to the event with no legal alimonial restitution owed if they are busted and subsequently divorced.


(from the Cape Cod Chamber Of Commerce)

Kick off Summer 2016 in true Cape Cod fashion at the 8th Annual Quahog Day!

Quahog Day will be celebrated on the First Day of Summer - Monday, June 20th - at the Matakeese Wharf Restaurant overlooking Barnstable Harbor.

The highly anticipated prognostication ceremony will happen just after 2 p.m., when Doug the Quahog (our Cape Cod mascot) once again predicts how many weeks of beach weather lie ahead for the coming summer!

The ceremony will be emceed by NECN Meteorologist Pete Bouchard.

Come witness history in the making! Free and open to all! For more information, visit www.QuahogDay.com.

Quahog Day is brought to you by the Cape Cod Chamber of Commerce!

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