The 2016 Bourne On The 4th Of July Parade!

I thought that this was Johnny Quahog, but he's just the leadoff hitter for the Bourne In The 4th Of July holiday parade.

No expense was spared, we rolled hard on the Americana.... and a good time was had by all.

Much like a Fort Sumter neighbor, I was shooting at every Old Glory that I saw... of course, I'm using a camera.

Bourne's parade is pretty much what Red Dawn would have looked like had the people financing it insisted upon a less ambiguous ending... a parade of miltary vehicles rolling through a tiny village with gallons of 'Merica poured on top.

See?

One of the two shots I took today where I felt creepy.... but someone banging down Bloody Marys on the patio at Buzzards Bay  at 10 AM as a parade rolls by rules pretty hard, and deserves media attention.

I actually met this dog while researching an article that I wrote like 6 years ago. He's the Coast Guard's "water safety dog," and- in one of those faux pas scenarios that go down when people who specialize at working with boats dabble in public relations- he bears a name that might need some work. I think his name is "Drown," or "Riptide," or "Hypothermia" or some other nautically terrifying name. Either way, as you can see, Drown floats- at least when he's on a float. It's just like they said in Apocalypse Now... Never get out of the boat, kids.

Ladies and gentlemen... I present to you a Seabee... I'd make a joke about that French Tickler mustache or the dog food bowl on his head, but that is a machine gun he's holding. It looks like it was crafted for Al Capone to shoot, but I'd bet it could punch a rush hole in me pretty easily.

You say that you want a picture of a guy on a lawnmower doing donuts in the middle of the parade? Why, I just happen to have one right here! 

If that's a toy gun, I want to write the advertising copy for it.... "Watch your classmates cower in fear!"

You can't have a parade without the bagpipe corps, player!

Bourne Braves in the howwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwse...

Onset works their way over the border and into the Bourne parade with a fat red ladder truck.

Hot cars always get love in any parade articles I write.

More pics to come when I figure out the kid's tablet....

Tummy Porn: Mezza Luna

Jessica hooked the kid up for his birthday (it's Tuesday, but I don't mind punctuality) with lunch at Mezza Luna. We brought along my man Hard Core Logo, too.

Mezz Luna dates back to the 1930s, and made their bones serving pasta to servicemen from the military base. If there's a better restaurant in Bourne, I'd like to try it out.

Check out their website, which- don't be alarmed- might play some Sinatra for you.

The place went up in flames (firefighters tell me that even the restaurant fire smelled good) a few years ago, but they rebuilt. The Cubellis family is a good enough employer that they got a nice % of the staff back when they re-opened. Jake, who served us, was superb.

Hardcore Logo is a man of simple tastes, and tends to order off the Kid Menu. I actually have about the same diet, so this restaurant review probably won't move down the evolutionary scale much more than "The salad was yummy."

It never hurts to fortify yourselves with enough Autumn Punch that the pictures start coming out blurry.

Jessica is at work, and I'm a bit of a moron when it comes to all things classy. We dd a food review for Cape Cod TODAY once, and it wasn't pretty. Some quotes from the article..."Fudge Bomb"... "donnez-moi le bag de chienne, monsieur."... "God help me, I'll stab this fork into your stupid forehead.".. "Momma cooked the breakfast with no squid."... "I don't care if it's what I get at Olive Garden, it's what I want."

We don't call it Tummy Porn because someone violates a navel. Heck no, we go Tummy Deep into various restaurants in the area. This is my manicotti, with a diet-busting side of two meatballs. They don't skimp on the sauce, I'm a messy eater, and the table around me looked like a crime scene when I finished.

The food melts in your mouth to the extent that, other than when I stole some of Hard Core Logo's fries, I didn't have to chew anything.



Could be worse....