Skill Crane Knowledge And Etiquette

Granted, there's a Presidential campaign going on and we're fighting ISIL in the Middle East, but there are other important things that we have to discuss today.

Somewhere in your town, there is a Skill Crane. If your town doesn't have one, the place that you go shopping does. They're ubiquitous.

A skill crane (aka Claw Crane, Giant Claw and Big Grab) looks simple and innocuous, but it is actually steeped in history and has been the subject of some legal debate.

During the construction of the Panama Canal, the public became fascinated with pictures of steam shovels used to dig the vast trench. For a nation that was 45 years removed from having slaves, Irish or coolies doing that sort of work, a steam shovel was a pretty neat thing. This was pre-Internet, kids.

Soon, this fascination inspired some brilliant human to make machines that featured a big claw dropping into a vat of candy and getting a sweet for the person who dropped a coin in it. Someone else threw in a few flashing lights, some bells, some whistles....Voila! The modern Skill Crane was born.

Known as an Erie Crane, a Panama Claw and the Iron Claw (this was pre-Von Erichs, and the Iron Claw crane may have inspired VE patriarch Fritz when naming his family's signature finishing move), the skill crane started working itself into any place with tourists. A version known as the you'd-better-pronounce-that-carefully "Miami Digger" began to appear at carnivals, and soon became the most popular kind of claw crane.

The machines stayed popular through the years. The NFL even took the step of loading machines with little team footballs, just to get the free advertising among a vulnerable demographic.

Skill Cranes then went to that next level in the 1980s, following right on the heels of the arcade video game craze. They had a prominent presence among Pizza Hut restaurants. By the 1990s, they were in K-Marts, Wal-Marts and perhaps every arcade operating.

Skill cranes tend to be stuffed with plush toys/stuffed animals these days, rather than the shelf life-having candy prizes. There are many varieties of both cranes and prizes. Most have a joystick with a drop button, and you have a 30 second timer.

You most likely know this already, unless you're like Amish or something. I can still learn you up, though... I am a skill crane expert. I won the 1986 Maine Crane championships, scooping a Higgs boson particle in the finals to defeat the former champ, Elmer "Glue" Carew.

There are several things that I can tell you to both help you win, and to help you win with honor.

1) If there are children waiting to play, let them go first. It's a kids game, remember... and besides, the little suckers might loosen up some toys for you to win afterwards. Kids have more of a toy-level view of the game, and sometimes miss things that a taller player will notice instantly.

2) If the machine plays some annoying song and is in any setting other than an arcade... don't bother the patrons and staff.

3) Skill matters very little, as you have no way of knowing what tension you need to apply to pry loose a prize. Some attorneys have advised claw machine companies to not use the word Skill when naming their machines, as it could present future legal trouble. Regulations vary from state to state, with many states treating the crane as a form of gambling. Cranes are illegal in Canada unless you A) win every time, or B) get multiple turns for your money.

4) While there is more prestige in snagging a high-profile stuffed animal like Scooby Doo and so forth, they are generally harder to get. A few Scoobies can offset a lot of lesser-known or generic stuffed animals as far as Presentation goes, and the guy stuffing the crane doesn't want to give up high profile characters without a fight. He is also motivated by the fact that a Batman toy costs more than a generic toy.

5) If the character that you're after has feet, make sure you can see them. Otherwise, even if you get the Kung Fu Panda by the head, his feet will pull him back in when they hit another plush toy.

6) While it's tempting to try to grab Alf by the head, it's better to get one hook under his throat and one under his arm. This may tip Alf, making him easier to grab in the event of you needing a second crack at him.

7) Never go for items near the glass. It prevents tipping, which is as important as grabbing in Crane work. For the same reason, never go for items right near the chute that winning prizes are dropped down. You don't want to be fighting any sort of barrier when contesting ownership of Wolverine.

8) Never be afraid to give the machine a little bump before you play. It may loosen up some items, and it may even knock one into the chute if you do it right. Just don't do it after you put your money in, it may have a TILT failsafe seen in pinball machines.

9) Several brands of crane have joysticks that can only be moved towards you once, and to a side once. Avoid these, unless the prizes are irresistible. As you should know by now, the Man plays dirty.

10) If you win the prize and you're an adult, it should play out like catching a foul ball at Fenway... hold up the prize, get some adulation, and then toss it over to the nearest kid. I just yesterday gave up Tom Cat from Tom & Jerry to a sweet-looking little girl at Papa Gino's in Wareham, where I was abusing that Skill Crane like Joan Collins.

Bonne Chance!