Showing posts with label south coast. Show all posts
Showing posts with label south coast. Show all posts

Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Worst Winters, Snowfall Records For Eastern Massachusetts


(Editor: We're dipping into our archives to drop some February and Winter-type Knowledge into your dome-pieces... the article is a year old, but no new records have been established, nor have averages been altered much.)

I think that even the wimpiest of us would agree that we have had a relatively mild winter so far. It may or may not change in the coming weeks, but that's not what we're here to discuss today.

We're at roughly what I consider to be mid-winter. I may not be correct officially or technically, but it's a good working model. A little bit of November, all of December, January, February and March, plus a bit of April... February is smack dab in the middle of that.

With that in mind, let's sort through some weather facts and speculation that may get you some proper mojo for those times when you ponder the weather at great lengths.

There will be a bit of a Boston focus, as I have a lot of Boston weather data handy. Your town may be different, but it's good enough to work with. I'm leaning heavily on a Weather Channel page. I refuse to use Winter Storm Names.

- Some of our worst storms, like the Blizzard of '78, came in the shortest month of he year.


-Top Boston Snowstorms

1. Feb. 17-18, 2003: 27.6 inches
2. Feb. 6-7, 1978: 27.1 inches
3. Feb. 24-26, 1969: 25.8 inches
4. Mar. 31 - Apr. 1, 1997: 25.4 inches
5. Feb. 8-9, 2013: 24.9 inches
6. Jan. 26-28, 2015: 24.6 inches
7. Feb. 7-10, 2015: 23.8 inches
8. Jan. 22-23, 2005: 22.5 inches
9. Jan. 20-21, 1978: 21.4 inches
10. Mar. 3-5, 1960: 19.8 inches

- Three of Boston's five snowiest months (including #1 overall, with a bullet) were, as you'll see, various forms of February.

- People looking at Top Boston Snowstorms charts in the future will be like, "Damn, it must have sucked in 2015 to get 24.6 inches of snow on January 28th and then get 23.8 inches on February 7th," and they could quite possibly be completely unaware that there was also a Groundhog Day blizzard in 2015 that did like 18". We just fail to mention it, because History of any sort is full of these little nuances.

- Top Snowfall Totals For A Month in Boston, and remember that you lose about 10% of the calendar with February:
1. February 2015: 64.8 inches
2. January 2005: 43.3 inches
3. January 1945: 42.3 inches
4. February 2003: 41.6 inches
5. February 1969: 41.3 inches

- It's odd that December or March didn't force their way in the mix up there in that list. I suppose that Spring is asserting herself by March, and that the ground is too warm in December.

- April, which has had some heavy blizzard-type snowfalls, just doesn't get enough follow-up events to break into that very close (one inch of snow stands between the second worst month of snow ever and the fifth worst) pile of months that make up rankings-2-5.

- March had a 19.8 inch head-start in 1960 and failed to get near the top 5. April had about 24" by April 1st of 1997, but couldn't generate enough powda to be a true player.

- Boston does about 43.6" of snow per winter. I think that Barnstable clocks 25" or so per winter.



- Boston's 10 Worst Winters:

1. 2014-2015: 110.6 inches
2. 1995-1996: 107.6 inches
3. 1993-1994: 96.3 inches
4. 1947-1948: 89.2 inches
5. 2004-2005: 86.6 inches
6. 1977-1978: 85.1 inches
7. 1992-1993: 83.9 inches
8. 2010-2011: 81.0 inches
9. 1915-1916: 79.2 inches
10. 1919-1920: 73.4 inches

- Notice that nearly 2 feet of snow stand between #2 and #5 on this list, while 1 inch stands between #2 and #5 in snowiest months. Those were some genuinely awful winters.

- Boston got 94.4 inches of snow in the thirty days between January 24th and February 22nd, 2015. It would be the third snowiest winter overall, just those 30 days.

- Any kid about 25 years old or so who has lived here all of his life can hold his own with any old-timer, no matter how salty Gramps may be, in a discussion about difficult Boston winters. Even a 105 year old man will have only seen three other winters that would place in the top ten.

- A 128 year old man would have seen the Blizzard of 1888, albeit as a child. However, at that point, the 128 year old man himself would be more interesting than Blizzard of 1888 discussion.

- Old folks would have recourse against whippersnappers in things like Ice Storms and Really, Really Cold Weather. It generally goes without saying that this current generation has better plowing and forecasting. It also generally goes without saying that old people have a better feel for the weather, and always will.

- That said, my 9 year old has now seen snowy winters worse than anything that Old Folks can speak of.

- In 2015, Boston had a Boston-record 37" snow pack. We had 6 feet of snow fall between January 24th and February 10th, and 90" between 1/24 and 2/15. We had 4 days where we had at least 12 inches of snow (a record shared with 1978 and 1960-61). Boston had 6 days in a row with at least a half-inch of snow. They also had 28 straight days where the temperature didn't get above 20.


- Some Perspective:

Heaviest One-Day Snowfall (inches and centimeters)

Georgetown, Colorado 63 160 Dec 4 1913
Thompson Pass, Alaska 62 157 Dec 29 1955
Giant Forest, California 60 152 Jan 19 1933
Mount Washington, NH 49 125 Feb 25 1969
Millegan, Montana 48 122 Dec 27 2003
Gunn's Ranch, Washington 48 122 Jan 21 1935
Deadwood, South Dakota 47 119 Mar 14 1973
Watertown, New York 45 114 Nov 15 1900
Heber Ranger Station, Arizona 38 97 Dec 14 1967
Morgantown, Pennsylvania 38 97 Mar 20 1958
Wolf Ridge, Minnesota 36 91 Jan 7 1994

Snowiest Average Winters, (inches and centimeters)

Mt Rainier, Washington 671 1704
Alta, Utah 546 1387
Crater Lake Park, Oregon 483 1226
Brighton, Utah 411 1044
Echo Summit, California 407 1035

Most Days With Snowfall 

Mt Rainier, Paradise Station, Washington 121.4
Mt Washington, New Hampshire 118.5
Climax Mine, Colorado 104.4
Crater Lake Park Headquarters, Oregon 101.3
Shemya Island, Alaska 98.3
Yellowstone Park South Entrance, Wyoming 94.5

Snowiest Large US Cities, Average Year, (inches and centimeters)

Rochester, New York 99.5 252.7
Buffalo, New York 94.7 240.5
Cleveland, Ohio 68.1 173.0
Salt Lake City, Utah 56.2 142.7
Minneapolis, Minnesota 54.0 137.2
Denver, Colorado 53.8 136.7
Milwaukee, Wisconsin 46.9 119.1
Boston, Massachusetts 43.8 111.3
Detroit, Michigan 42.7 108.5
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania 41.9 106.4
Hartford, Connecticut 40.5 102.9
Chicago, Illinois 36.7 93.2
Providence, Rhode Island 33.8 85.9
Columbus, Ohio 27.5 69.9
Indianapolis, Indiana 25.9 65.8
New York, New York 25.1 63.8


- Boston, and Massachusetts in general, rules 'Merica in one weather-related category... Wind Speed. Boston has an average wind speed of 12.4 mph. Massachusetts owns 4 of the top 5 spots when ranked among cities with more than 50,000 people. Weymouh, Brockton, Framingham, Newton, Peabody, Waltham, Quincy, Lowell, Brookline, and Lynn are all in the top 20.

Windiest US Cities (>50,000 people)

1. Weymouth Town, MA (housing) (pop. 55,419) 14.7 mph
2. Brockton, MA (housing) (pop. 94,089) 14.3 mph
3. Framingham, MA (housing) (pop. 68,318) 13.6 mph
4. Amarillo, TX (housing) (pop. 196,429) 13.3 mph
5. Weymouth, MA (housing) (pop. 54,393) 13.2 mph
6. Cheyenne, WY (housing) (pop. 62,448) 12.9 mph
7. Fort Collins, CO (housing) (pop. 152,061) 12.8 mph
8. Newton, MA (housing) (pop. 87,971) 12.7 mph
9. Casper, WY (housing) (pop. 59,628) 12.7 mph
10. Waltham, MA (housing) (pop. 62,227) 12.6 mph
11. Loveland, CO (housing) (pop. 71,334) 12.6 mph
12. Quincy, MA (housing) (pop. 93,494) 12.5 mph
13. Greeley, CO (housing) (pop. 96,539) 12.5 mph
14. Rochester, MN (housing) (pop. 110,742) 12.5 mph
15. Great Falls, MT (housing) (pop. 59,351) 12.5 mph
16. Peabody, MA (housing) (pop. 52,044) 12.5 mph
17. Brookline, MA (housing) (pop. 58,732) 12.5 mph
18. Lowell, MA (housing) (pop. 108,861) 12.5 mph
19. Lubbock, TX (housing) (pop. 239,538) 12.4 mph
20. Lynn, MA (housing) (pop. 91,589) 12.4 mph
21. Boston, MA (housing) (pop. 645,966) 12.4 mph

- Viewed in the Year Without A Sana Claus weather logic that I use in lieu of any formal meteorological training, New England is often brought up in arguments where people propose that there are actually several Misers involved in our weather. You could make a case for Warm Miser, Mild Miser and/or Seasonably Cold Miser.

It may be a case where Heat Miser and Cold Miser are General Grant and General Lee, and Seasonably Cold Miser is a subordinate, Jubal Early-style figure.



Friday, February 10, 2017

Blizzard Snowfall Totals


MASSACHUSETTS

...BARNSTABLE COUNTY...
   1 E TRURO             10.2   645 AM  2/10  COCORAHS
   ORLEANS               10.0   849 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   MARSTONS MILLS         9.0   831 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   EAST SANDWICH          9.0   929 PM  2/09  NWS EMPLOYEE
   1 NW EAST FALMOUTH     8.7   707 AM  2/10  COCORAHS
   EAST FALMOUTH          8.5   849 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   POCASSET               8.0   844 PM  2/09  NONE
   WELLFLEET              8.0   539 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   3 E FALMOUTH           8.0   700 AM  2/10  COCORAHS
   WEST HARWICH           7.5   906 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   WAQUOIT                7.5   513 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   BREWSTER               7.0   823 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   BOURNE                 6.8   335 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER (the Bourne spotter- me- actually had a 10.5" measurement later that evening, but may have reported it wrong.
   1 NNE SANDWICH         5.0   700 AM  2/10  COCORAHS

The snow drives back the foot that's slow...


...BRISTOL COUNTY...
   1 ESE WESTPORT        13.5   700 AM  2/10  COCORAHS
   NORTH DIGHTON         13.2   607 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   ASSONET               13.0   753 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   WESTPORT              13.0   516 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   FREETOWN              13.0   815 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   MANSFIELD             13.0   815 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   NEW BEDFORD           13.0   850 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   DARTMOUTH             12.8   553 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   4 NW TAUNTON          12.4   753 PM  2/09  NWS OFFICE
   TAUNTON               12.3  1102 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   NORTH ATTLEBORO       12.3   856 AM  2/10  NWS EMPLOYEE
   NORTON                12.2   749 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   ATTLEBORO             12.0  1111 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   SWANSEA               12.0   525 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   ACUSHNET              10.0   630 AM  2/10  SOCIAL MEDIA
   4 N TAUNTON           10.0   700 AM  2/10  COCORAHS
   WEST ACUSHNET         10.0   812 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   FAIRHAVEN-POPE BEACH   9.5  1025 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   FAIRHAVEN              9.5   847 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   REHOBOTH               9.2   524 PM  2/09  NWS EMPLOYEE
   3 NW TAUNTON           9.0   339 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER

...DUKES COUNTY...
   OAK BLUFFS             5.5   839 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO

The Buzzards Bay Biggie Blizzard remix... it's amazing how a song about shooting Tupac actually sounds a bit like a Christmas carol if you have the right visual...



...NORFOLK COUNTY...
   FOXBORO               15.4   741 PM  2/09  NONE
   SO. WEYMOUTH          13.0  1003 PM  2/09  MEDIA
   RANDOLPH              13.0   810 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   MEDFIELD              12.5   515 PM  2/09  BROADCAST MEDIA
   NORWOOD               12.1   756 PM  2/09  NWS EMPLOYEE
   QUINCY                11.8   910 PM  2/09  GENERAL PUBLIC
   BELLINGHAM            11.5   215 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   DOVER                 11.0   536 PM  2/09  BROADCAST MEDIA
   MILLIS                10.3   735 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   BROOKLINE             10.0   728 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   NEEDHAM HEIGHTS       10.0  1005 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   WRENTHAM              10.0   418 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO

...PLYMOUTH COUNTY...
   PLYMOUTH              16.5   832 PM  2/09  GENERAL PUBLIC
   KINGSTON              14.5   855 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   3 WNW KINGSTON        14.5   600 AM  2/10  COCORAHS
   2 SE BRIDGEWATER      13.5   700 AM  2/10  COCORAHS
   BRIDGEWATER           13.5   953 PM  2/09  NONE
   MARION                13.5   916 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   BROCKTON              13.3   527 AM  2/10  TRAINED SPOTTER
   WHITMAN               12.0   545 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   ROCKLAND              12.0   505 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   MIDDLEBORO            12.0   800 AM  2/10  CO-OP OBSERVER
   HINGHAM               12.0   700 PM  2/09  COOP OBSERVER
   HANOVER               11.0   626 AM  2/10  NONE
   LAKEVILLE              9.0   851 PM  2/09  TRAINED SPOTTER
   HULL                   8.9   930 PM  2/09  NONE


Snowbound, at a hotel... "I corrected them, Sir"



...SUFFOLK COUNTY...
   SOUTH BOSTON          12.0   422 PM  2/09  MEDIA
   CHELSEA               11.3   409 PM  2/09  HAM RADIO
   WINTHROP              10.9  1136 PM  2/09  NONE
   1 N EAST BOSTON       10.7   702 PM  2/09  AIRPORT
   BOSTON                10.5   535 PM  2/09  THE FENS


The better pics are from Monument Beach. Tristan and Mikina are way nicer with the camera than ol' Steve is.



Cape Cod met blizzard conditions yesterday.


They weren't joking about that Red Skies In Morning bad weather omen stuff...



Pre-blizzard sunrise


Same vantage point, 12 hours later.


Here's another Vantage Point exercise. This is at the height of the blizzard...


Same vantage point, once darkness settled in and things calmed down some...



A tree, during the height of the storm....


Same tree, from a few yards back once the whiteout lightened...


Shovel all night, go to get some refreshments, and  a dog took my favorite bar stool. Know that the Trowbridge Tavern provided a Hawaiian Pizza to the author at the height of the storm. 


Thursday, February 9, 2017

Blizzard Warning, School Closings, Snowfall Total Predictions



BLIZZARD WARNING 
REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 9 AM THIS MORNING TO
8 PM EST THIS EVENING...

* LOCATIONS...Eastern Plymouth County...Cape Cod...Martha's
Vineyard...Nantucket and Block Island.

* HAZARD TYPES...Heavy snow...strong to damaging winds and Blizzard
conditions.

* Accumulations...Snow accumulation of 12 to 16 inches.

* TIMING...Precipitation will overspread the region between 6 and
9 am this morning and may begin as a brief period of rain. Any
rain will change to snow by late morning. The snow will then
fall heavy at times this afternoon before tapering off to snow
showers this evening.

* IMPACTS...Heavy snow and strong to damaging winds will result in
blizzard conditions this afternoon and early evening. Intense
snowfall rates of 2 to 3 inches per hour will be possible at times
this afternoon. Strong winds will create blowing and drifting snow
and near-white out conditions at times. Travel is not
recommended this afternoon and evening. In addition strong to
damaging winds may result in isolated power outages.

* Winds...Northeast 30 to 40 mph with gusts up to 65 mph.

* Visibilities...One quarter mile or less at times.

* Temperatures...In the upper 20s.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A Blizzard Warning is issued when sustained winds or frequent
gusts over 35 mph are expected with considerable falling and/or
blowing snow. Visibilities will become poor with whiteout
conditions at times. Those venturing outdoors may become lost or
disoriented. So persons in the warning area are strongly advised
to stay indoors.

**************************************************

Here is a list of

School Closings

**************************************************

Snowfall Predictions, by local TV stations, 6 AM:


WBZ... 8-14" for most of Massachusetts. 4-8" for Cape Cod

WFXT... 10-14" for most of Massachusetts, 7-10 on Cape Cod

WHDH.... 12-16" for Estern Massachusetts, 16-20" from Worcester to NE CT, NW RI, 8-12 Cape

WCVB... 12-18" Massachusetts, 10-15" Cape Cod

NECN.... 12" Cape, 15" South Shore, 18" interior SE MA

**********************************************

Coastal Flooding is a threat. The good news is that the storm won't be at full speed at the morning high tide, and will be waning (with north instead of northeast winds) for the evening high tide (11ish). It's an astronomically high tide, so keep an eye to the sea.

**********************************************

Yes, this blizzard roughly coincides with Blizzard of '78. This won't be so bad, but it may be the worst of the year... and we had a 12-18" blizzard already this season.

We'll be bopping around for much of the storm, and we'll get some pics/videos. I may not get to the shore for the storm, but you never know.

We'll be back with an update if need be.

Red skies in morning.... unless my camera disagrees, which happens now and then.


Wednesday, February 8, 2017

Blizzard Conditions Possible Tomorrow




BLIZZARD WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT FROM 6 AM THURSDAY TO
MIDNIGHT EST THURSDAY NIGHT...

* LOCATIONS...southeast Massachusetts and Rhode Island.

* HAZARD TYPES...Heavy snow.

* Accumulations...Snow accumulation of 6 to 12 inches.

* TIMING...Snow will begin early Thursday morning and last
through much of the day before ending Thursday evening. Snow
could fall heavy at times and impact both the morning and
evening commutes.

* IMPACTS...Hazardous travel due to snow covered roads and poor
visibilities. Blowing and drifting snow is possible.

* Winds...North 20 to 30 mph with gusts up to 50 mph.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A Winter Storm Warning for heavy snow means severe winter weather
conditions are expected or occurring. Significant amounts of snow
are forecast that will make travel dangerous. Only travel in an
emergency. If you must travel...keep an extra flashlight...food...
and water in your vehicle in case of an emergency.

&&

===================

SOUTHERN PLYMOUTH: (same)

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Not much to add to that. There is a coastal flooding threat, and a high astronomical tide. The tide will be tempered somewhat by the timing of the storm, which will just be warming up for the morning high tide and will be blowing a wave-killing North by the time of the evening tides.

There is a strong possibility that the current Winter Storm Warning will be changed to a Blizzard Warning later this morning or early this afternoon.

We should certainly have the snow for a blizzard, and the winds will be up for most of the day. Both commutes should feel the pain, although I'm currently betting on the evening commute being the bonecrusher.

After ol' Mr. Blizz leaves town, we'll be in for a deep freeze.

We're looking at another snow event for Saturday. That's looking like 3-6", probably closer to the 3. Keep in mind that tomorrow's storm was a 3-6" forecast a few days ago.

We'll be back with an update if need be.







Monday, January 23, 2017

Powerful Nor'easter Hits Today, Coastal Concerns


A powerful nor'easter is sizing up New England, bringing the potential for heavy rain, high winds, power outages and very dangerous seas.

We'll let the National Weather Service tell you:

**********************
Monday Morning Briefing:

The coastal storm that we've been talking about for the past few days is set to arrive today. There is a lot to talk about, so here's a rundown of the potential hazards. Check out the images below for more information.

If you have any questions, feel free to post them here. We'll do our best to answer them as soon as we can.

Winter Weather: Today into Tuesday

- Mix of snow, sleet, and some freezing rain expected across much of western and central MA and northern CT.

- Higher accumulations (2-4") expected across higher terrain near Berkshires and northern Worcester County. There could be as much as 1" of sleet in some areas.

- Less icing is expected than was previously forecast (now under 1/4 inch).

Wind: Strongest Later This Afternoon and Tonight

- East winds gust as high as 60-70 mph along the immediate eastern Massachusetts coast including Cape Ann, coastal Plymouth County, Cape Cod, Martha's Vineyard, Nantucket, and Block Island.

- Gusts of 40-50 mph expected elsewhere, except 30-40 mph in Franklin and Hampshire Counties.

- Strongest winds expected from late this afternoon into tonight, before winds subside quickly Tuesday morning.

Heavy Rain: This Evening into Tuesday Morning

- 1 to 3 inches of rain is expected, with the higher amounts in RI and eastern MA where locally higher amounts possible.

- Potential for significant urban flooding in RI and eastern MA, possibly flooding of small streams as well.

Coastal Flooding: This Evening and Tuesday Morning

- Pockets of minor coastal flooding expected along the eastern MA coast during this evening's high tide. A storm surge of around 2 ft is expected.

- More widespread minor coastal flooding is expected in the same areas with Tuesday morning's high tide, when there could also be pockets of moderate flooding. A storm surge of 3 to perhaps even 4 ft is expected.

- Most favored areas for moderate flooding include Newburyport, Scituate, and possibly Gloucester and Nantucket Harbor.

- Minor coastal flooding is also possible Tuesday morning along parts of the South Coast including Newport, Westerly, and Block Island. Coastal Flood Advisories may be issued for these locations later today.
********************************************************************************

Snow isn't expected anywhere in our reading area. This is good, because 3 inches of precipitation can crank out 2+ feet of snow very easily. Throw in several hours of tropical storm force winds, and we'd be using that B Word which rhymes with lizard.

Instead, we'll get soaking rains, howling winds and pounding surf. The storm should produce 2 fierce tides before the winds shift. Prior to what we previously thought, winds are now forecast to be from the NE at high tide on Tuesday morning, which is bad news for anyone owning a beach house.

Tides are astronomically low, but that will be cancelled out by the 2-4 foot surge. The end result is equal to the worst full moon high tide of any month. After that, it's just a question of how big the waves are when they hit the shore. You can use the math from the chart up at the top to see how the tides will be altered by the surge.

The winds may also take down some power lines, especially when you get closer to the coast. You can check the wind forecast for your area in the picture at the bottom of this article.

Some more NWS stuff. We're doing watches and warnings pertaining to Duxbury, just because...

High Wind Warning

Areal Flood Watch

Coastal Flood Advisory (Monday)

Coastal Flood Watch (Tuesday)

As for us, we plan to take to the road for this storm. The surf will be better on the Cape at the height of the storm, but it might be more practical for us to work the Irish Riviera, maybe Scituate to Plymouth to Sandwich. I may not see my own house for two days.

We'll post our pictures as we get them. Anyone who wishes to contribute can reach us through our Facebook page. We love reader submissions. You're probably a better photographer than ol' Steve here, so you'd have a good chance of taking the best picture used in the article.

We'll be back with an update.


Wednesday, January 18, 2017

Who Still Has Christmas Lights Up?




I do a lot of driving around, and it spawns many of my stories here. That is the case today, as we ponder when exactly it becomes strange that you still have the Christmas lights up.

I got these pictures in a 3 sq mile area of Plymouth and Bourne. I'm sure that this article could have 50 pictures if I felt like wasting a night plowing through Suburbia with my camera. I took every single picture after Martin Luther King Day.

Before we even discuss this, I want it on the record that I'm not making fun of these people. To the contrary, I admire them. They are holiday honey badgers... they go where they want to, and they don't give a uffffffff. When you and I have let go of Christmas 2016, they are still plugging in the lights for another night of 2017 holiday cheer.

We took a peek at who had the Christmas lights up early, and "prior to Veterans Day" seems to be the Mendoza Line for "when roaming journalists with nothing to write about might take notice of your property." Likewise, the holiday for Dr. King- a man of peace, who somehow still paid a soldier's debt- is a pretty good cutoff point for "that same journalist is now outside your house, aiming a camera."

Sorry about the blurry pics. I keep odd hours, much like a werewolf, and I'm a large and menacing person to see stopping his car in your yard and getting out. I'm actually a fun and goofy guy, but you won't know that when you see me doing my thing in your yard out of nowhere at 5 AM. Anyhow, I just snap-shotted this picture, hence the Blurry.

Even if you like a nice Veterans Day to Jesus Day to MLK Day light show, MLK Day was Monday. I'm publishing this on Wednesday. Leaving the lights up until Groundhog Day (and we're closer to that than we are to Christmas) makes it more likely that he sees his shadow, and having them up on Valentine's Day makes it more likely that you'll be sleeping on the couch.

Part of it is the holiday weekend. With an extra day off, you really should have created some time to get out there and yank the lights down. Your next holiday is President's Day, and that is some time away, player.

In case you're wondering, the Twelve Days Of Christmas are generally thought to begin with Christmas and end on January 5th. January 5th is also known as Tomorrow Minus Two Weeks. If you put the lights up during Veterans Day weekend and leave them up until a week from Friday, you'll have done the Twelve Weeks Of Christmas. I do have some votes for the Epiphany, which is January 8th.

Many people on Cape Cod and other coastal regions use string lights on their decks and porches all year, but this tends to be more secular and less holiday-driven. There are those who say that those lights are there to help beach-walkers find their way home, especially if they have been drinking.

Another secular thing claimed by Cape Cod are the Christmas-looking red and green exterior lights.... which are actually some sort of nautical thing telling you which way you're supposed to drive around a channel buoy or something.

One of my pictures comes from a construction company near the Cedarville Marylou's. The house picture is from Plymouth Road, in Bourne. I'll be watching each property, as they are on the coffee run route from my house. One of them is going to cave in first and take their Christmas lights down.

Nothing other than just who that will be interests me right now.



Monday, January 16, 2017

January Weather 'Round These Parts, Winter Weather Records


New England is one of those cold places. We get a bit spoiled in Cranberry County (SE Massachusetts), as our lows aren't as low as they get further inland. We're actually the balmy part of New England, which I doubt is of any great comfort to you.

New Englanders are logical, and we'd be quick to point out to someone who is suffering in our climate that many parts of America have it worse than we do with Old Man Winter. Everything from the Great Lakes west to the Rockies along our latitude is colder than we are, as our climate is influenced by the Gulf Stream. As cold as our air is right now, there is a touch of Florida to it that is saving us from the true Ice Bowl stuff.

Still, New Englanders sometimes forget that a lot of the country is comprised of states that are much warmer than we are. Any state which once had people picking cotton is warmer than us. Any state Mexicans sneak into is warmer than us. Any state where people surf, any state with a Disney park in it, any state with palm trees, any state with more than one NASCAR track... you guessed it, warmer than us.

Winter is officially when the axis of the Earth is tilting away from the sun in our hemisphere. Weathermen sometimes call winter the 3 months with the coldest temperatures. Other people go by length of day, vernal equinox dates, animal migrations, and a ton of other omens.

Winter brings the coldness. Cold is a subjective perception thing. Someone from New England might scoff at what someone from Georgia considers to be cold, while someone from Alaska might find the Yankee to be a bit of a wuss. The coldest temperature ever recorded reliably was above Lake Rostov in Antarctica, which clocked in at -128 Fahrenheit. That's just about as cold as the polar ice caps of Mars, if you need a scale of reference.

Cold will happily kill you if you don't protect yourself from it. Humans have an optimal operating temperature in the 90s. We're not designed (fur, down, blubber) for colder conditions, and we only survive in places like New England or Finland because we're crafty suckers who figure out stuff like fire and electricity. Without that, we'd be Peopsicles.



How cold does it get around here?

Although it is not Cranberry County, Boston has extensive weather records. Boston is a bit north of Cranberry County, but it also has a more concrete-ish urban heat effect. They are generally just a bit colder than coastal Cranberry County, and warmer than inland Cranberry County.

The same basic logic applies to snowfall, with Boston getting the lesser snow of an East Falmouth rather than the heavier snowfall of an East Bridgewater.

I just happen to have the January weather records for Boston right here. They go back to 1920. Let's roll through some fun facts, shall we?

- January is the coldest month, with an average high/low temperature range of 36/22. Second coldest? February, follwed by December, March, November, April, and October.

- Rolling through the lowest January temperatures, we get a -2 in 2011, a -7 in 2004, -4 in 1994, 1988 and 1981, and an ungodly -12 in 1957. For highs, we hit 69 degrees in 2007 and a lay-out-and-tan 72 degrees in 1950.

- Boston's record for coldest high temperature in a January day is 7 degrees. It was -4 that night, so people were happy with the 7. However, the temperature never dropped below 55 degrees on a day in 1950.

- The state in January has an Average Daily High temperature range running from 21.9 degrees in the Berkshires to 29 in Boston to 31 on Martha's Vineyard.

- The lowest temperature ever recorded in Massachusetts was -37 F, in Chester. Nominally warm states like Arizona, California, Missouri and Mayland have all had colder days than that. California also somehow owns the national snowfall event total record at like 20 feet or something.

- Cape Cod, the South Shore, Bristol County and Boston get, generally, about 2/3 the snow that Worcester gets.


- Average annual snowfall totals (days with at least .1" of snow, and inches of snow per year) for towns in our area, through 2014:

Boston 22.4 days/43.6"

Boston is our standard, and we'll lead off with it.

Chatham 11.7 days, 28.9"
Martha's Vineyard, 9.7 days, 23.6"
Hyannis,  6.1 days, 15.6"

Chatham and Martha are further out into the ocean, and get clipped by storms more than closer-to-the-mainland Hyannis. The totals spike upward when we go to the mainland, although the South Coast is subject to the same Gulf Stream effect that Cape Cod is regarding to moderate temperatures.

Taunton, 10.3 days, 28.0"
New Bedford, 14.7 days, 33.2"
Wareham, 14.3 days, 36.1 inches
Plymouth, 13.1 days, 36.2"
Hingham, 25 days, 47.1"

Hingham's totals illustrate how the snow is more regular as you move north. Plymouth, Taunton and Wareham (and even the Cape and Islands, once you stare at the numbers a lot) illustrate how, when they do get snow, they tend to get a lot of it. Plymouth gets rain half of the time when Hingham gets snow, but they get more than 2/3 of Hingham's snow in that same time frame.

Blue Hill, 29.1 days, 62.7 inches
Lowell, 20.3 days, 51.9"
Amherst 16.6 days, 36.9"
East Brimfield, 23.1 days, 59.0"
Worcester, 31.7 days, 64.1"
Great Barington, 22.1 days, 61.0"
Worthington, 52.6 days, 79.7"
Ripton, 366 days, 1968"

Worcester, which is in the hills a bit, is used as the Central Massachusetts benchmark on most news programs. Blue Hill is a mountain, or what passes for a mountain in EMass. Amherst is in the Connecticut River Valley, which gets lower totals than, say, Great Barrington. I'm amazed that there is a need to differentiate between the eastern and western pats of Brimfield, but it probably matters a lot to Brimfieldians. Ripton is a fictional community, so I gave it fictional snowfall totals.

- Boston is the windiest of major US cities, with an average wind speed of 12.3 mph.

We're windier than Chicago, the Windy City, which clocks 10.3 mph. Tornado-ridden Oklahoma City only gets 12.2 mph.


- January snowfall totals in Boston

2016, 9.5"

2015, 34.3" (February was the backbreaker that year)

2014, 21.8"

2013, 4.8"

2012, 6.8"

2011, 38.3"

2010, 13.2"

2009 23.7"

2007, 1.0"

2005, 43.30"

1996 39.80"

1992, 0.40"

1986, 0.80

1978, 35.90 (that's BEFORE the Blizzard, btw)

1957, 20.6" (They also had a 72 degree day that month)

1945, 42.3"

1920, 24.8"


- Boston's Top Snow Events

2003 Blizzard, 27.5"

Blizzard of '78, 27.1"

Feb. 1969 Blizzard, 26.3"

April Fool's Blizzard, 1997, 25.4"

February 2013 nor'easter, 24.9

January 2015 Blizzard, 24.6"

February 2015 Blizzard, 23.8"

Blizzard of 2005, 22.5"


- Snowstorm records

* New Hampshire got 13 feet, 8 inches on Mount Washington in one storm.

* Blizzards in 1997 and 1992 dumped over 30" of snow in Worcester. Their record is 34.8" in the January 2015 blizzard.

* When I was at Worcester State College, we got 18" of snow on April 28th, 1987. I had to drive a girl to Berlin, MA and then go back to Worcester in the height of it. What makes the story cool is that, before the storm, I had picked her up at West Boylston Regional High School, because that's how I rolled back in 1987.

* I lived in Monponsett, MA when they got 36" of snow in 2005. I actually had to shovel my way out of the house. There were no high school girls hanging around for this storm.

* The Massachusetts single-event snowfall record is 62", which fell on Great Barrington in a 2013 Blizzard.

* Massachusetts ranks 23rd in a list of Worst US Snow Events, State By State. We lack the mountains or lake-effect-snow-makin' lakes to fight the contenders.

The state with the most snow ever from one event is, as you might have guessed, California, where 451 inches fell in the Sierra Nevada mountains in 1911.


Worst Boston Winters:

1. 2014-2015: 110.6 inches

2. 1995-1996: 107.6 inches

3. 1993-1994: 96.3 inches

4. 1947-1948: 89.2 inches

5. 2004-2005: 86.6 inches

6. 1977-1978: 85.1 inches

7. 1992-1993: 83.9 inches

8. 2010-2011: 81.0 inches

9. 1915-1916: 79.2 inches

10. 1919-1920: 73.4 inches


Worst Snowfall Months In Boston

1. February 2015: 64.8 inches

2. January 2005: 43.3 inches

3. January 1945: 42.3 inches

4. February 2003: 41.6 inches

5. February 1969: 41.3 inches


- Some historical snow and cold information:

* The British started shooting at the Boston Massacre partly because they were angry that American kids were throwing snowballs at them.

* Russia would be French or Nazi if they didn't have such rotten winters. Even then, they sold us Alaska for pennies on the dollar, and we were widely thought to be foolish for purchasing it at any price.

* Cold or snow killed the Frankenstein monster, the Nicholson character in The Shining, several Jack London protagonists, and- via colds, which increase in cold weather- the Martians in The War Of The Worlds. Mr. Freeze of the Batman rogues gallery is dependent upon cold.

* Rudolph only got to drink from the white reindeer fountain because his red nose could be seen through snow.

* Songs referencing snow or cold include Let It Snow, Hazy Shade Of Winter, Snowblind, Frosty The Snowman, No Quarter, Jingle Bells, Freeze Frame, Winter Wonderland, She's So Cold, The Immigrant Song, Winter Wars, Funky Cold Medina, Cold Shot and just about every Christmas song. I'm not sure if The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald involved or mentioned snow.

- Rappers love chilly names, as Ice Cube, Ice T, Vanilla Ice, LL Cool J, Snow, and Kool Moe Dee prove. White guys who rap stand a strong chance of getting a snow-related nom de guerre.

* No, Walt Disney is not cryogenically preserved, and yes, Ted Williams is.

* Military engagements with Cold themes include Cold Harbor, the Battle of the Ice, the crossing of the Delaware, the Battle of Quebec, the failed assault on Quebec, the Battle of the Bulge, Napoleon's invasion of Russia, the Winter War, and the Cold War. There was even a Snow King, at the Battle of Lutzen.

* The ditzy blonde on Three's Company was named Christmas Snow, aka Chrissie.

* If a substance is brought down to Absolute Zero, even the molecules in it aren't moving.

* The first documented snowman in history dates back to 1380 AD.

* The tallest snowman ever stood 122 feet high. She was named Olympia Snow, after a Senator in the state (Maine) where the snowman was built.



- Famous New England Cold Events

* The Year Without A Summer

Volcanic activity leads to climate abnormalities, lowering the planet's temperature by a degree.

Frosts in June, July and even August 23rd killed food crops. Famine followed. Massachusetts had snow on June 8th. Massachusetts was not getting western grain at this point, and the death of her corn crops led to spikes in food prices.

The effects were felt world-wide, and didn't go away until several years later.


* The Great Blizzard of 1988

This one followed the unspeakably tragic Schoolhouse Blizzard in Nebraska, although it was not the same storm. This storm was known as the Great White Hurricane. It set up over Cape Cod and beat the Northeast for 2 days.

It dumped 50 inches of snow on parts of Massachusetts and New York. Hurricane force winds mauled the coast. They had just figured out telegraphs at this time, and this was the storm that made them realize that telegraph wires suffer heavily in ice storms.

If your city has their telephone and power wires underground, this is the storm that made them do it. Boston was isolated once her telegraph lines fell, and the drifting snow made it impossible to move goods (especially food and fuel) into the city. New York and Boston were cut off from the rest of the world for some time after the storm.

Factory workers had to work to eat, and many died trying to get to work. This, and the isolation after the storm, is why Boston started working on the nation's first subway system.


* The Blizzard of '78

This is the benchmark storm for anyone over 45 or so. Any large storm since has been compared to it. Storms that dumped more snow in recent times are still considered to be less fearsome than the Blizzard.


This was the perfect storm, and not just in a weather sense. Forecasting figured into the chaos. They actually called the storm properly, but people tended to not believe them. They were still blowing storms as recently as 1991, so some sympathy can be extended in this instance. As it stands, almost everyone went about their daily business, and did nothing to prepare. This is where the bread and milk panics as storms approached were born.

Boston had also had 35" of snow in January (including a 20" storm a few weeks before the blizzard), and it was all still on the ground when this nightmare hit us in early February. This snow would either blow around and drift, or stay on the ground as an shovel-impossible bottom layer of ice.

Snow fell for 2 days, and ended as an ice storm. Boston picked up 27 inches of snow. Highways were full of abandoned cars, and people were trapped in their homes for weeks. The coast was smashed by a full moon storm tide, and the damaged matched or surpassed that done in hurricanes.

I lived on Duxbury Beach for this storm. We never saw a flake of snow, but waves were tearing houses in half. We were evacuated on a fire truck, and lived at either the Governor Winslow School or the Kingston Howard Johnson's for the next few months. Winds passed 85 mph before my wind gauge thingy was torn down.

This storm ended the weather complacency ("Hurricanes are the South's problem, and blizzards are the midwest's concern.") that many New Englanders felt. This monster, plus the additional media focus on weather and weather forecasting technology, meant that future storms wouldn't sneak up on us any more.

If you say nothing more than "the Blizzard" to someone over 50 from Massachusetts, they assume that you are talking about '78.

* 1997 April Fool's Blizzard

April is usually when you start preparing for summer, but that all went up the chimney when this beast laid into us.

Very much like the Blizzard, it dropped tons of snow and gashed the coast with heavy surf. It actually put down more snow (25.something inches) in one day than the Blizzard of '78 did, although '78 rallied to take the overall title on Day 2.

Prior to this storm, the snowiest MONTH of April in history could only ring up 13.3" of snow. This storm beat that in 6 hours.

I was still in Duxbury for that one. I had the only fireplace in a neighborhood of cottages, and I had 10 neighbors sleeping on the floor in front of it once the power was knocked out.

I also had an Australian nanny in the neighborhood, and she was from the part of Australia that has Florida's climate. She had seen snow before, but nothing like this. She kept calling my house- terrified, but perfectly calm and might I say very English- and asking "When does the Army come for us?" and "How and where does all of this snow go away to? Does the Army move it?"

April storms are rare, but they are hardcore when they do hit. Coastal New Englanders do no yard repair at all until mid-to-late April.


* The Blizzard of 2003

There are actually two of these, a December storm and one that hit on President's Day. Both dropped 30-40" of snow on Massachusetts.

The PDII storm owns Boston's single day and full-storm total of 27.5 inches of powder.

Everyone had The Weather Channel by this point, so the only people who got snuck up on by this deserved it.


* The Blizzard of 2005

As far as Cranberry County goes, you can choose between this one and the Blizzard of '78. The '78 storm did worse damage and fell on a deeper snowpack, but this storm generally owns the local snowstorm total records.

Sagamore Beach got 40" of snow, while a Bridgewater-Plympton stretch of tiny Route 106 got between 30-38". Most of Cranberry County, from Duxbury to Cape Cod to New Betty to Brockton got between 2 and 3 feet of snow.

I was teaching in the area for this storm, and I got 2 weeks off from it. Highlights include driving a Jeep through the whiteout to pick up some smoking supplies, falling off my roof and landing unharmed on my back in a snow drift, and having my border collie dig our way out of the side door through a snow drift.


* February 2013 Nor'easter

This was a recent monster. It was like a B+ version of the Blizzard of '78.

This was notable for a few things. It dumped 24.9 inches of snow on Boston, and more on surrounding areas. It was the 5th highest storm total for Boston, and Portland, Maine set a town record with 31.9"

Fearing a sea of abandoned cars of the highways, Governor Deval Patrick declared a state of emergency to send everyone home, and then implemented a driving ban. It was the first time we have had a ban since the '78 storm.

This was also a storm, along with Hurricane Irene, which showed us that NSTAR needed to step up their game. This storm ravaged much of the eastern USA, and NSTAR crews were spread thin. It took a long time to get the power back on, and this- unlike Irene- was during a period where low temperatures were in the teens during the blackout.

I got home from work one day during the blackout to find an empty house. Soon, my girlfriend called. "I have the kid and the cat, and we're driving South until we find a hotel with electricity." A state trooper turned her around in Connecticut.


* The Winter Of 2015

You lived it, Hoss.


Friday, January 6, 2017

UPDATE: Heavy Snow To Hit SE Massachusetts Saturday

4 PM Update

Shawna Costa, on the cam...

Uhm, yeah, about that "not too bad" snowfall forecast for Saturday that we issued yesterday.

Ooops.

As it turns out, Saturday's storm may have a bit of the hot sauce on it, if you know what I mean. The National Weather Service has a Winter Storm Watch up for Saturday.

Snowfall totals, previously thought to be in the 2-4" range, are now in the 9-12" range. The 9-12" is actually a scaled down version of the 8-15" that the National Weather Service dropped in their morning forecast.

The fun should start around noon tomorrow, and it should snow through midnight, easily. There could be some ocean enhancement along the coast, and some ocean effect flurries could hang around on Sunday morn.

In all, the Canal area of Cape Cod could have a stretch where someone gets 20" of snow this weekend. Bourne, for instance, picked up 5" today, and are forecast to be in the epicenter of tomorrow's entertainment.

I haven't heard an actual weatherman (or Cindy or Shiri) say that coastal flooding is a concern. However, the winds should be whipping up from the NE at a 15-20 mph clip right around when the afternoon high tide hits. The Irish Riviera, the Cape and the Islands could get NE wind gusts up to 40 mph, so keep an eye on the sea, coasties!

We'll pop back in for an update tomorrow if the forecast then is as radically different from today's as today's was from yesterday.


BARNSTABLE:

...WINTER STORM WATCH FROM SATURDAY MORNING THROUGH SUNDAY
MORNING...

* LOCATIONS...INCLUDE COASTAL PLYMOUTH COUNTY...CAPE COD AND THE
ISLANDS.

* ACCUMULATIONS...SNOW ACCUMULATION OF 6 TO 12 INCHES POSSIBLE
SATURDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING.

* TIMING...SNOW OVERSPREADS THE AREA SATURDAY MORNING AND LIKELY
BECOMING HEAVY AT TIMES SATURDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING...THEN
TAPERING OFF LATE SATURDAY NIGHT.

* IMPACTS...UNTREATED ROADS WILL BECOME SNOW COVERED AND SLICK.
VISIBILITY WILL BE REDUCED. TRAVEL WILL BECOME HAZARDOUS AS
SNOW BECOMES HEAVY AT TIMES ALONG WITH GUSTY NORTHEAST WINDS
RESULTING IN CONSIDERABLE BLOWING AND DRIFTING WITH NEAR WHITE
OUT CONDITIONS POSSIBLE.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A WINTER STORM WATCH MEANS THERE IS A POTENTIAL FOR SIGNIFICANT
SNOW...SLEET...OR ICE ACCUMULATIONS THAT MAY IMPACT TRAVEL.
CONTINUE TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS. BE PREPARED TO MODIFY
TRAVEL PLANS SHOULD WINTER WEATHER DEVELOP.

Buttermilk Bay


SOUTHERN PLYMOUTH:

...WINTER STORM WATCH FROM SATURDAY MORNING THROUGH LATE SATURDAY
NIGHT...

* LOCATIONS...INCLUDE EASTERN AND INTERIOR SOUTHEASTERN
MASSACHUSETTS...NORTHEASTERN CONNECTICUT...AND ALL OF RHODE
ISLAND.

* ACCUMULATIONS...SNOW ACCUMULATION OF 4 TO 8 INCHES POSSIBLE
SATURDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING.

* TIMING...SNOW OVERSPREADS THE AREA SATURDAY MORNING AND LIKELY
BECOMING HEAVY AT TIMES SATURDAY AFTERNOON AND EVENING...THEN
TAPERING OFF LATE SATURDAY NIGHT.

* IMPACTS...UNTREATED ROADS WILL BECOME SNOW COVERED AND SLICK.
VISIBILITY WILL BE REDUCED. TRAVEL WILL BECOME HAZARDOUS AS
SNOW BECOMES HEAVY AT TIMES ALONG WITH GUSTY NORTHEAST WINDS
RESULTING IN CONSIDERABLE BLOWING AND DRIFTING WITH NEAR WHITE
OUT CONDITIONS POSSIBLE.

PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...

A WINTER STORM WATCH MEANS THERE IS A POTENTIAL FOR SIGNIFICANT
SNOW...SLEET...OR ICE ACCUMULATIONS THAT MAY IMPACT TRAVEL.
CONTINUE TO MONITOR THE LATEST FORECASTS. BE PREPARED TO MODIFY
TRAVEL PLANS SHOULD WINTER WEATHER DEVELOP.


Thursday, December 29, 2016

Nor'easter Not A Problem For The Coast



A rather powerful storm is taking aim at Massachusetts. It is packing high winds and heavy precipitation.

Southeastern Massachusetts gets the shaft on this one, if your definition of "the shaft" includes "we don't get any snow." Snow will be the problem of those strange inland people who don't live close to a beach. We might get a flurry or something, but it is a rain event in any town where you have Beach Stickers for sale.

Speaking of beaches, yours shouldn't get it too badly from this storm. Coastal Flooding is not expected to be a major concern. While we will have some heavy SE winds for a spell, they will occur during low tide. By the time the tide is coming in, the wind should have shifted to the west.

There is a chance that the winds are still SE when tonight's high tide comes, but SE winds are a very different animal than NE winds are, especially on the shores of Cape Cod Bay. Your worst case scenario is some minor splashover.

You might get some surge on west-facing beaches, but I wouldn't worry too much about it.

The winds will be ridiculous, topping 60 mph in some gusts. 75 mph is a hurricane, if you need something to attach those forecast wind gusts to in your imagination.

You should have a wet and sloppy commute home tonight, as heavy rains and high winds will be on the prowl. The precipitation should be over by midnight, but the winds will howl in from the west for most of Friday.



Tuesday, December 6, 2016

Marylou's Coffee Taking Over The South Coast



The South Coast is the next domino to fall in the world conquest plan of Marylou's Coffee.

Marylou's Coffee, a cultural icon of the South Shore, has almost 40 locations around Massachusetts and Rhode Island. Most of them lie within a stretch of the Irish Riviera running from Weymouth to Plymouth.

Marylou's has made inroads on Cape Cod (Sagamore, Sandwich, Hyannis), interior Plymouth County (Raynham Brockton, etc...) and Rhode Island (Greenwich, Cumberland, Providence). They have a huge gap on the South Coast, where Dunkin Donuts and Honey Dew Donuts still hold sway.

Marylou made a move to address that problem Sunday, opening a new spot in Rochester, right on the Wareham line. The South Coast is now bracketed, with Marylou pushing west from Rhodey, east from Cape Cod/Plymouth, and south from Taunton and Lakeville.

The location in Rochester is based in the new Seasons convenience store plaza. They celebrated n force last Sunday, with the little Marylou girls out greeting the cars.

Marylou's is known for their comely staff (although rumors of Marylou's as the Hooters of coffee have been debunked by numerous plus-sized and male employees) and their spectacular flavored coffee. Once you have one, you will never wait in  ten-car line at Dunkin again.

I can't even get on this computer and libel someone until I have taken a large Funky Fanabla to the head. I can't pronounce "Fanabla," and taught in urban high schools long enough that I pronounce "funky" as "fonkee," sort of along the lines of how the bear on the Muppets pronounces his name. The girls at Cedarville mostly have it down by now, and I tip well.

Go on in and say hi to the new Marylou's girls. Tell them that Cranberry County Magazine sent you, and they'll give you no discount whatsoever.


Wednesday, November 23, 2016

The Trillion Cran March

You know that a publication named Cranberry County Magazine is going to bombard you with burgundy as Thanksgiving nears. Our photographers were all over eastern Massachusetts, seeing who had the goods. 

We focused heavily on Plymouth, Carver and Wareham. You could also draw a triangle running from Duxbury to Freetown to Yarmouth Port, and assume that we stumbled through every bog in it.


Cranberry County University mathematicians estimate that our photographers captured 1,000,000,000,000 cranberries on film. That's a trillion, babe....


Even a rotten photographer like Stephen can do OK if he works with acres of berries directly in front of him where he can't miss them.


The urge to push him in from behind while he was taking this shot was almost overwhelming.


I totally want to wade two strippers into that and have them wrestle for three rounds while drunks throw money at them.


Let's roll through the cranberry harvest process. First, you get a cranberry bog.


Then you flood it, and hire this dude to roll through it with his cranberry-loosening tractor which probably has some technical name that I'm unaware of.

Once he's done, you have acres of floating berries.


Enter the workers...

Cool man, rotten shot...


Sorry for the blurry, but this is the tube which sucks up all the berries that the Cape Verdean guys pulled into a pile.


I think this is where the water goes after the berries are sorted out of it, or it's where they're getting the water. I don't know this farm stuff that well, I was raised in f*cking Dorchester until it was too late to make a farm boy out of me.


The cranberries then get pumped up into a big truck, where they get sent off to Ocean Spray.



The big truck in question.... you would need a corresponding truck full of sugar to create a 15000 sq foot serving of cranberry sauce.

Sometimes, the truck spills some cranberries, people run over them, and you get roads that look like this. This is in Carver... and, no, it's not the Cranberry Highway. That's in the 'Ham.

Cranberry Jones got his nickname at Yale, where he spent his freshman year eating nothing but cranberry products in an attempt to turn his skin burgundy. It didn't work, he had the runs for 7 months and he's now our organized crime contact.
We've got the boys working hard, and we'll be back over the weekend with some more shots.